In just a few days, some of the best professional wrestlers will descend upon Los Angeles to throw down in the biggest event on the wrestling calendar, WrestleMania. Everyone’s getting a little bit excited, as the almost 1000-day reign of Roman Reigns, the Tribal Chief, is at stake, along with a host of matches that promise to knock your socks off.
With the release of WWE 2K23 earlier in the month, we’ve decided to put it to the test and see if it could predict the outcome of every match in WrestleMania 39.
Austin Theory(c) vs John Cena – United States Championship
Theory seemed to be very aware of what he was up against here, as he tried his very hardest to cover Cena after pretty much every move in the first half of the match. Unfortunately, his attempts were in vain, as Cena turned the tables and the match spilled outside of the ring. Theory got his rear handed to him all around the ringside, before the two made it back into the ring to duke it out.
Cena, naturally, went for the class five moves of doom, taking Theory out with a Five-Knuckle Shuffle and an AA, with John Cena finally walking out as the US Champion.
Cena certainly could take the title in this match, but given his fairly light schedule over the last few years, it’s pretty unlikely he’ll get a title run here. It’s more likely that Austin Theory will pull some dirty moves to put Cena away, but anything is possible at WrestleMania
Seth Rollins vs Logan Paul
Somehow this could end up being one of the best matches of the weekend, and in our simulations, this match was quick offense first, everything else second. Both fighters knew what was coming from the other, and it took quite some time for anyone to even land a meaningful shot.
After a while, there were no more counters to be had, and Logan Paul managed to get the upper hand with a perfectly-executed Frog Splash – followed by a kick out from Rollins. Paul attempted to execute a second Frog Splash, but didn’t quite nail it, with Seth Rollins seizing the opportunity with a Curb Stomp for the win.
This would be a great outcome on the night, but with how evenly matched these two are, it’s looking like a 50/50 either way.
Damage CTRL vs Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus
Becky and Bailey started the match going at it once more, but the legends didn’t wait long before getting in on the action. Trish Stratus dug her heels into Bayley as if she’d never retired, but Damage CRTL’s younger stars jumped in for a real fight. Iyo Sky managed to turn the tide, taking a swipe at both Becky and Lita on the outside of the ring before jumping in to take care of Trish.
Of course, this is a 6-person tag match, so it broke out into chaos as the women paired off and butted heads around the ring. Unfortunately, Lita picked the wrong moment to slide into the ring, and got promptly taken down by Dakota Kai, earning Damage CTRL the win.
It would be nice for Damage CTRL to win something for once, but it doesn’t seem particularly likely — we reckon we’re more likely to get a feel-good moment when Becky, Lita, and Trish take home the win.
Brock Lesnar vs Omos
This one played out pretty much exactly how we expect it to go down on the weekend. Nothing really happened for a good five minutes, and then Brock Lesnar claimed victory with a single F5. Shocker.
Bianca Belair(c) vs Asuka – Raw Women’s Championship
The build for this match was basically non-existent, but both women rushed to make this fiery match something interesting. Bianca went all-in on power moves, taking every opportunity to sweep Asuka off her feet, while Asuka went for the limbs one by one. Her patience really made the difference here, and by the time she got in an Asuka Lock, Bianca had no option left but to tap, landing Asuka the title.
Trying to predict this one is tough, so it’s hard to say if the game was on the money. Asuka has the momentum to take it home, and Bianca’s year-long reign does feel like it’ll be coming to an end, but you never can count out the EST at WrestleMania.
Gunther(c) vs Drew McIntyre vs Sheamus – Intercontinental Championship
As you’d expect, these three beefcakes do little more than beat each other senseless right from the get-go. With hard-hitting strikes from minute one, Sheamus and Drew quickly removed Gunther from the match. That didn’t last long, though, as Gunther returned as quickly as he left with a steel chair to cause havoc.
Sheamus took a beating from Gunther while Drew was recovering, ultimately smashing Sheamus with a Claymore from the corner. Gunther replied with a Powerbomb for Drew, who promptly kicked out. Drew rolled to the outside, leaving Sheamus and Gunther to battle it out in echoes of last year’s brawl in Cardiff. Drew popped back in at exactly the wrong moment, right in time to get knocked out with one of Sheamus’s Brogue Kicks.
Gunther took the moment to leap at the advantage, and Powerbombed Sheamus to take home the crown.
Gunther’s dominance has been going strong since the summer, so we expect this might be exactly how things turn out, but it’s another hard one to call with certainty.
Finn Balor vs Edge – Hell in a Cell
This match ended up being a bit disappointing, much like most parts of this needlessly long feud. After throwing some fists in the ring, Balor turned to the steel chair, giving him total control of the match. He kept at Edge for quite some time, before Edge reversed Balor’s signature move to grab a sledgehammer, which was then promptly thrown out of the ring by Balor.
The match went to Finn Balor in the end after he went up top and hit the Coupe de Gracé.
Balor and Judgement Day have been turned into chumps by Edge in every stage of this feud, even when they win. We can only hope that Balor takes home the win this weekend. Otherwise, this whole thing feels a little bit silly.
Rey Mysterio vs Dominik Mysterio
The father and son throwdown began with Rey taking control early in the match. It didn’t last for long, though, as Dominik has picked up a trick or two from his old man, as the two clash in lucha-libre style at full force. Rey attempts to go for an early cover, but Dominik manages to turn it over, with Rey only just managing to get his foot in the ropes in time. The younger of the men gets onto the apron, but Rey makes him pay for the decision, stunning him and following up with a Sunset Flip Powerbomb onto the arena floor.
From there, there was never any doubt — Rey Mysterio is the victor. He pulls his son back up to the ring, hits a 6-19 and a Frog Splash, and puts his rebellious son in his place.
Charlotte Flair(c) vs Rhea Ripley – Smackdown Women’s Championship
Rhea showed a powerful start here, which shouldn’t surprise anyone, not letting Charlotte get a single hit in. The tide turned slowly over the course of the match though, as Charlotte managed to get more and more shots in. Ripley’s attempt at an Elbow Drop backfired terribly, and Charlotte immediately pounced on the opportunity to wear Ripley down. Rhea wasn’t able to recover, and when Charlotte countered Riptide and hit the Natural Selection, Charlotte Flair held onto her title.
We think the game is almost certainly wrong on this one. Rhea Ripley has been killing it this past year, and it’s about time she took the crown from the queen.
The Usos(c) vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn – Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships
This was the most emotionally charged match of the show, and also the most intense. The Usos sped around the ring, as they often do, but Owens knows exactly what to do to keep them in place, while Zayne keeps up well. The game can’t capture the true essence of this story-based drama, but the action was non-stop and a joy to watch.
That is, until Zayn managed to pull off a dive to the outside onto Jey Uso, tried to pick Jey up, but the Uso took control by countering. The two exchanged blows around the ringside, with neither making any attempt to get back into the ring. The referee did his little countdown, and it was ultimately called a Draw.
If this were to happen in real life, the WWE would have nothing short of a riot to contend with. We’d be very surprised if Kevin Owens and Zami Zayn don’t walk out with the titles on this one.
Roman Reigns(c) vs Cody Rhodes – Undisputed WWE Universal Championship
The main event here, as Roman Reigns attempts to keep his, er, reign as world champion, a title he’s held for 940 days. Cody Rhodes is exactly the man to push him to his limits, and while we expect the real-life match to go on for half an hour or more, in the game you would have missed it if you looked away for just a moment.
Cody was almost completely unable to get any offense in, with the Tribal Chief doing everything in his power to dominate the American Nightmare. It was mere moments before Cody was blasted with a Superman Punch to the face and knocked down with a Spear. A few seconds later, and the deed was done, with Reigns keeping his title for another day.
No matter which way it goes on the day, the real-life match won’t go down this easy. Picking a winner isn’t exactly easy — Roman Reigns could very well take down yet another hero to take his reign to 1000 days. That said, Cody’s been at this since 2016, and this would be the perfect moment to take his journey to its emotional climax.
Written by Oliver Brandt on behalf of GLHF
