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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Bibi Lynch

Unlocking the perimenopause puzzle: ‘Suddenly everything made sense’

Illustration of relaxed woman sitting by plant with herbal tea
‘Be brave and look ahead: you never know, menopause might even be better.’ Illustration: Ludi Leiva/The Guardian

If you thought the menopause was shrouded in mystery, please spare a thought for its precursor – perimenopause. Defined by the NHS as “the time from the start of menopausal symptoms until after a woman has experienced her last period”, it’s a stage of life that many women are in the dark about, even though it can be marked by telltale signs and symptoms.

While every women experiences perimenopause in their own way, some of the more familiar signs may include weight gain, mood swings and hot flushes. In my case, I repeatedly forgot the word for “spoon”. I knew it was in the cutlery family, but I could ... not ... grasp ... that ... noun. It took months of me saying: “I know it’s not a knife or fork ...” before GP blood tests told me I was perimenopausal. Brain fog had been my sole indicator.

Here, three other women share how they discovered they’d entered perimenopause – and what happened next ...

Nadira, 50
I didn’t recognise what it was at all. I was caring for my late father at the time, and every time I turned up at his, I’d go: “Can I sit down for a bit?” I had nothing in me. Then the night sweats came on. They were unbelievable. I would literally be drenched. And vaginal atrophy ... which is not very nice when you’re trying to date. Down there got drier, and my skin got drier, too.

As I was 41, I thought I might have gone into early menopause, so made an appointment with my GP. I didn’t actually know the term “perimenopause” at the time. My GP gave me some information on HRT – but I didn’t feel it was the right path at that point. A few years later I saw an osteopath; we spent time talking through my aches, pains and general wellbeing – and when he told me that my ailments were all possible signs and symptoms of perimenopause, suddenly everything made sense.

Initially I tried to manage my signs and symptoms with vitamin B12 to help with energy and sea buckthorn for my skin, but every six months I was tackling another issue. So in 2020 I went on HRT.

My advice from the other side? Keep your everyday stress levels down as much as you can – which I know can be a hard thing to do. And journal your signs and symptoms, so when you get to speak to your GP, you have a timeline to analyse.

BOD MENO and HRT

Boots is here to help you take control of over 40 signs and symptoms of menopause. Explore its range of menopause support and learn more about physical and mental changes*

Michelle, 55
For years, I didn’t realise I’d had any perimenopausal signs and symptoms but, looking back, I’ve had at least one – irregular bleeding – since my early 40s. In the end, I got a coil that treats heavy periods as I was bleeding for three weeks in four.

In the last couple of years I’ve started to get night sweats, as well as cold sweats during the day, aches in my teeth and the worst burning-tongue syndrome. And I’m utterly exhausted in the afternoon. I’ve even laid on the floor at work and on a public sofa there.

When the night sweats came, I was in my 50s and realised I was perimenopausal, but I had no idea then about the other signs and symptoms. I simply didn’t know you could get shivers or a burning tongue until I set about finding out as much as I could. Knowledge is power, and you can deal with these changes when you know what the heck is going on.

My advice to women would be to take care of yourself: plenty of sleep, eat well and exercise. All the signs and symptoms are better when you feel healthy.

Anna, 59
I think my perimenopause started when I was 41 and it lasted a long time because my periods didn’t stop till I was 54. The perimenopause was much worse for me than menopause. Towards the end of my periods, I felt awful – and thought I was becoming anaemic. Thankfully, tests showed I wasn’t, and my doctor explained that it was all down to perimenopause.

I had migraines, terrible tension and felt stressed, and this went on for a while. People said menopause would be worse, but the good news is that, for me, it wasn’t. In fact, it was a great deal better, and now I feel the best I’ve felt in years in terms of balance ... though I do miss my libido.

My “self-care” involved focusing on diet more; cutting out cigarettes, eating well, only one coffee a day, plenty of light exercise, and not punishing myself.

Be brave and look ahead: you never know, menopause might even be better.

Whether you’re looking for products to ease specific signs and symptoms or for advice, Boots can help. Find out more at Boots Health Hub or head in-store to speak to one of its pharmacists

*Boots Online Doctor Menopause & HRT treatment service: access to treatment is subject to an online consultation with a clinician to assess suitability. Subject to availability. Charges apply.

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