A man took to Reddit to explain why he expected his girlfriend to support him while he was unemployed.
This week, the man made an anonymous post to the “Am I The ***hole” Reddit forum, saying “I lost my job 4 months ago and EI[employment insurance] doesn’t cover my full living expenses. I had to buy a car since mine had 330,000 km on it and the engine issue was worth fixing.”
Since losing his job, he has blown through his savings and stated that he’s now unable to cover his living expenses. In dire straits, he turned to his girlfriend for help, but he claimed she wasn’t exactly supportive. “I asked my gf to help cover my expenses and she has refused because I didn’t propose before this,” he said.
“We had been dating for 3 years and moved in for 2,” the man continued. “She had told me 3 dates in she expected to be engaged in about 2 years of dating and is very unhappy with me because I didn’t propose.”
He said that his girlfriend told him that he was expecting “too much” for someone who wasn’t ready to propose, but expected her to help him out with his rent.
“We have been dating for 3 years doesn’t that count for something?!” he wrote. “If it was a year in I understand if it was too early but we have been together for a long time. But she told it was meaningless because I haven’t proposed and she refuses to help me as I could just decide I don’t want marriage and bail at any time.”
On his end, he said that because his girlfriend has refused to help him out in his time of need, it shows that she’s not serious about the relationship as well. He added, “We have been serious for a long time, why is the ring and marriage all that matters?!”
Reddit users largely agreed the man was the ***hole in this situation.
“He’s expecting wife level commitment on a girlfriend status,” one user wrote, while another added: “The fact that he’s expecting wifey duties from his girlfriend has me dead lmfao break up already damn.”
“This is precisely the situation where if he’d taken her openly stated goals seriously, and dated with the intention of a similar goal, he’d be covered now,” another person commented. “Like if he’d proposed and they were at least engaged right now, he’d probably have a ride or die partner to get through this with.”
Someone else did advocate for the Reddit poster, however, saying: “Finding a new job isn’t that easy, and, as others have noted, some jobs pay less than EI, so to just take any job could be a financially stupid move. So much depends on the industry, an applicant’s location, and other variables that we just don’t know. “
According to the Harvard Business Review, even though getting laid off is a common occurrence, male unemployment is more likely to be stigmatised and frowned upon than female unemployment. Due to societal norms, men are more likely to feel as though they are failures as partners when they lose their jobs.
In the United States, cultural expectations of masculinity have remained traditional. As a result, heterosexual relationships in which the male partner earns far less than their spouse or is unemployed have a higher risk of separation or divorce, according to the American Sociological Association (ASA).
