MIAMI -- As Roman Zhenzhirov organized his apartment, Coldplay’s “Daddy” blasted from his playlist.
"You’re so far away. Oh, you’re so far away."
Tears dripped down his face. Zhenzhirov, 30, couldn’t bring himself to eat lunch. He sobbed at the table beside his husband, Roman Shyshkin, 37.
But his tears didn’t stream from sadness. That recent Tuesday night would be the first time in more than seven years he would see his mother, Nataliia Zhenzhirova, and brother, Arsenii Zhenzhirov.
Zhenzhirova, 51, and Arsenii, 17, escaped from Ukraine when Russia invaded the country in February. They were coming to the U.S. through the Biden administration’s Uniting for Ukraine program, which committed to welcoming 100,000 Ukrainian refugees.
Zhenzhirov and Shyshkin applied for Zhenzhirova and Arsenii the same day the program opened. In the following days, the couple heard about other Ukrainians getting approved. But their family’s application showed no change in status.
So they reapplied — and were approved the next day.
“If we waited, we would still be waiting,” Shyshkin said.
Trying to leave
Zhenzhirov said his family in Ukraine applied for visas six times over their seven years of separation, only to be denied for unknown reasons. Now, four months since leaving Ukraine, the family was ready to be together again.
And while listening to “Daddy,” he envisioned the reunion — and mourned his father’s absence.
Daddy, if you’re out there. Daddy, all I wanna say. You’re so far away. Oh, you’re so far away.
Zhenzhirov’s father stayed in Ukraine to fight and serve his country. Men of conscription age, 18 to 60, are prohibited from leaving.
“Even if he could, he wouldn’t leave,” Zhenzhirov said.
Arsenii, like many of his friends, wanted to stay in Ukraine and take up arms when of age. But his father told him he needed to leave to take care of his mother, who was diagnosed with a brain tumor six months ago. She was scheduled to have surgery in Ukraine before war broke out.
So Arsenii and Zhenzhirova fled Zhashkiv, a city in central Ukraine, and headed to the Romanian border. They stayed a week in Romania and then Poland before settling in Berlin for 3 1/2 months. In Germany, Zhenzhirova got health insurance, and her tumor was removed.
The reunion
Zhenzhirov’s reunion day started with a phone call at 5 a.m. His mother and brother were at the Brussels airport in an immigration room filled with other Ukrainians. They were about to be released but were minutes from missing their flight.
Shyshkin and Zhenzhirov called the airline, explained the situation and asked if they could keep the doors open a bit longer for the family. When they were finally released, Arsenii sprinted to the gate only to find that the TV screen in the waiting area incorrectly said the flight was headed to Istanbul.
It turns out their flight was delayed. And the delay meant more hours until the Zhenzhirov family reunion.
They were now going to arrive in Miami at around 8 p.m. — three hours later than planned. And so Shyshkin and Zhenzhirov made their way to the airport, Zhenzhirov wearing a cream-and-maroon embroidered vyshyvanka, a traditional Ukrainian shirt that varies from province to province.
The couple, together since 2011, left Ukraine and applied for political asylum in 2015. They fled amid Russia’s invasion of Crimea, where Shyshkin is from. Ukraine, Shyshkin said, didn’t have laws to protect the LGBT community, and it was dangerous to be openly gay.
They bought their two-bedroom apartment in Hollywood within a year of arriving in South Florida. They both recently earned professional licenses, Zhenzhirov’s in cosmetology and Shyshkin’s in real estate.
In a few hours, Zhenzhirova and Arsenii would be joining them in their Hollywood home. Zhenzhirov peered through the terminal’s glass window as travelers cruised down the hallway and into the embraces of their loved ones.
“This is a Ukrainian,” he said as he pointed across the glass. “He’s also Ukrainian. So is she.”
As the hours passed, the chaos in the airport subsided. The crowd of visitors vanished. The chatter about a plane that caught on fire on the runway ceased. The few scattered families who remained sat in silence.
Zhenzhirov leaned on a waiting area chair and anxiously checked his phone for a call from his brother. It was already 10 p.m.
“Why don’t they call?” he said as he sprang up and paced around. “Let me check.”
Arsenii told him that all Ukrainians were being kept in a room at the airport. They were handed orange papers as they waited to speak to an immigration officer. He snapped a quick photo of the line and sent it to his brother.
Zhenzhirov pointed out some of the people he recognized from the photo as they walked through the terminal hallway. A mix of emotions overwhelmed him: happiness, anxiety, excitement.
And just past 11:30 p.m., Arsenii strolled through the hallway, flipping his hair and towering over his mother, who walked beside him. Zhenzhirov rushed over and hugged his brother before turning to his mother.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her head into his chest and began to weep.
He had pictured this moment when he listened to “Daddy” at home earlier that day.
Won’t you come and won’t you stay? One day. Just one day.
Zhenzhirova held her son’s hand and glanced into his eyes for the first time in seven years. Then they went to the elevator, ready to get to their new home.
In Hollywood, they had a midnight meal of borscht and shepherd’s pie. It was their first family dinner in seven years.
“All is good,” Zhenzhirova said days after her arrival to South Florida.
The reunited family soon went to the beach. Zhenzhirova feels weak and can’t spend too much time outside. But being around both her sons after years of separation gives her the energy to carry on.
The voyage was difficult but she pushed through.
“She was overwhelmed with emotion, thinking of how we will meet,” Zhenzhirov said.
Most of the family’s sightseeing has been through the car window on drives around town. Arsenii’s eyes gleam as he points out the Burger King or an electric car on the road. His classmates back in Ukraine are jealous that he’s living near Miami. They’re familiar with the city through GTA, a video game Arsenii and Zhenzhirov played with friends.
In coming weeks, Zhenzhirov and Shyshkin want Arsenii to start learning English for his future studies and Zhenzhirova to apply for Medicaid to continue her treatment. They want to take them on a South Florida tour of Fort Lauderdale, Miami, the best coffee spots.
But more than anything, they want to be the family they couldn’t be for seven years.
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