Pop singer and TV star Tulisa has elaborated on her outlook towards relationships after revealing she identifies as demisexual while appearing on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!
The N-Dubz artist took part in the ITV reality contest last month, alongside fellow stars such as Strictly Come Dancing’s Oti Mabuse, McFly singer Danny Jones and Coleen Rooney.
During her time on the show, Tulisa – full name Tulisa Contostavlos – told her teammates that she was demisexual, an orientation where the person requires a strong emotional connection before they are able to feel physically attracted to someone else. She also revealed that she had been celibate for three years.
“Even though I’ve been on [dating app Raya], I’ve never gone on an actual date with anyone on there,” she explained. “I’m proper guarded.”
She added: “I feel like I’m demisexual, I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone … I need actual depth. I’m a slow, slow burner. I’ve been celibate for over three years.”
Demisexuality falls on the spectrum of asexuality. It is unclear how many people in the world identify as demisexual; the term is believed to have been coined in 2006 on a web forum devoted to asexuality. According to the 2021 British census, just 0.06 per cent of people in the UK identify as asexual.
“I’ve kind of always been that way,” Tulisa told The Guardian in a new interview. “But me being that kind of person, and then having the experiences I’ve had, has put me so far back into my shell. I only deal with people I already know. I’ve just recycled ex-boyfriends for the past 10 years. A new person coming in doesn’t have a chance.
“I just ask myself: ‘Would I keep this person in my life, even as a friend, for the rest of time?’ And if I don’t have that feeling, I wouldn’t want them as a lover. I just don’t get the tingles,” she continued.
“Some people will see a guy walking in the street, and go: ‘Oh my God, he’s gorgeous.’ I can really appreciate aesthetics: I can think: ‘He looks beautiful – I totally get why everyone fancies him.’ But doing anything physical with him wouldn’t even cross my mind.”
In the interview, she said having a sex tape posted online by her ex, Justin Edwards, had “really affected my love life and my intimacy”.
“I feel so much shame surrounding it that my relationship to sex doesn’t feel the same,” she said.
Tulisa became the third star to be voted out of the 2024 series of I’m a Celebrity. Earlier this month, she shared a video to her Instagram page telling fans that she needed some time after opting not to go on the spin-off show.
“I’m just doing a little video to clear a couple things up. Just so you know, when I came out of the jungle, I felt fine first of all and then that evening my friends went to bed,” she explained.
“I was on my Instagram trying to have a nice little scroll at some funny stuff. I was getting a lot of attention, a lot of bombarding in all the most positive way. But because it’s been a while for me I can get overwhelmed quite easily.”
“And I just started to feel overwhelmed. I thought, do you know what, I really just need to take a bit of time for [myself] and just chill. This is all feeling just a little bit much at the moment. I’m just going to archive all my stuff to do with the jungle. Then when the time is right and I’ve had a little time to process I’m going to make my own reels of all my best bits I really like.”
