Trevor Noah
The US House passed a bill legalizing gay and interracial marriage on Tuesday, amid concern that the supreme court could target other civil rights following the reversal of Roe v Wade. The bill “is a great victory for 1995”, said Trevor Noah on Wednesday’s Daily Show. “It’s really strange to be diving back into this debate that we thought was resolved in 2015. It’s weird that they’re like, ‘We’re doing it now.’ What do you mean now? What’s next? We’re going to start arguing about that dress again? Because it’s over guys, it’s over. We decided years ago that it’s blue and black.
The House has passed a bill legalizing gay and interracial marriage. What an amazing victory for 1995! pic.twitter.com/DPsQ68C9up
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) July 21, 2022
“Also, it’s even weirder that 157 Republicans voted against this bill,” he continued, referring to the nearly three-quarters of House Republicans who didn’t vote for the measure, many calling it a political charade. “So you’re on the record now voting against interracial marriage?
“Like look, I know mixed couples have ruined your lives for the last couple of years,” he said over photos of Barack Obama and Joe Biden and then Biden and Kamala Harris. “But I think it’s time to let that go.”
The Senate is unlikely to vote on the measure, as the chamber has “more priorities than we have time”, according to Dick Durbin, a senior Democratic leader.
“You don’t have time? How long does it take?” Noah wondered. “Should gay marriage be legal? Yes, boom, voted, done. That was like, three seconds maybe? I can do another one, look how much time I have. Should interracial marriage be legal? Boom, bam, yes there we go, done. That’s two votes!”
“Let’s go again: should interracial marriage be mandatory? Uh, this one’s a little bit harder, but I’m going to say yeah, let’s do it,” he joked. “All the babies would be super cute.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers checked in on numerous investigations into Donald Trump, from New York to Georgia to the justice department. “He’s under investigation in New York, Washington, Georgia, Peoria, Mayberry, Twin Peaks, Tattooine, Westeros, Xanadu,” Meyers joked. “He’s even under investigation on the planet from Avatar for disguising himself as a Na’vi to steal some unobtainium.”
Meyers also turned to a recent New York magazine article in which Trump said he’d already decided to run for president again in 2024 – largely, Meyers speculated, as a last ditch effort to escape criminal investigations. “It’s pretty amazing that when Trump ran in 2016, his slogan was ‘lock her up’, and in 2024 it’s going to be ‘vote for me, or I’m going to go to jail’,” Meyers said.
“I for one don’t think Trump needs another get-out-of-jail-free card,” he continued. “His whole life has been a get-out-of-jail-free card. I’m pretty sure Trump could park his golf cart in the middle of the BQE [Brooklyn-Queens Expressway] and the cops would just put a bunch of cones around him.
“The straightforward, fundamental question at the heart of these hearings and at the heart of our politics at the moment is whether we’re a nation of laws,” Meyers later concluded. “If Trump can simply escape accountability for a criminal plan to overthrow the government by running for president and declaring himself untouchable then we no longer have a functioning justice system.”
Stephen Colbert
And on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert lamented devastating heatwaves across the US this week. “These heatwaves are only going to get worse, because Biden’s climate plan is being blocked in the Senate by Joe ‘I hate life on Earth’ Manchin,” he said.
In response to the extreme heat, Biden held a press conference to announce new steps to combat the climate crisis, but stopped short of declaring it an emergency. “Yeah, you don’t want to call a climate emergency too early,” Colbert said. “You gotta wait until our internal temperature is 165 degrees in the thigh, then we’re safe to eat.”
The non-emergency press conference was held at a former coal plant in Massachusetts, or “what appears to be the bleakest, most desolate spot on planet Earth”, said Colbert. “Because nothing says everything’s fine like a dehydrated septuagenarian broadcasting from the set of Mad Max: Fury Road.”
Those “steps” to combat the climate crisis, according to reports, include more funding to existing programs. “Oh good! Because what we’re already doing is clearly working so well,” Colbert deadpanned.
