Trevor Noah
Trevor Noah touched on the furor surrounding Ye, the rapper formerly known as Kanye West, who was suspended from Twitter and Instagram over the weekend for antisemitic tweets.
Kanye threatening to go “Death Con 3” on Jewish people? Among many other things, that’s not how you say it. pic.twitter.com/lEt7j9YlNz
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 12, 2022
“I don’t even know where to begin with this shit,” the Daily Show host said. “I mean, promoting antisemitism to your 50 million followers?” Among the tweets, a response to outrage over his “white lives matter” T-shirt at a fashion show, West threatened to go “death con 3” on Jewish people.
“I know this is not the point, but that’s not how you say it,” said Noah. “I know it’s not the main issue here, I know that, but it’s Defcon 3, not ‘death con 3.’ Death con sounds like a trade show where they unveil all the latest coffins are something.
“Not to mention, the Defcon scale goes from 1 to 5,” he continued. “So Defcon 3 is like, in the middle? If you’re trying to tell people how hard you’re going to go, that’s just a weird way to do it.”
Ultimately, Noah concluded, “I feel bad for American rightwingers, you know? Because they’re getting Kanye now. They missed College Dropout, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Graduation. They missed all that and they’re getting this Kanye. It’s like getting to date the high school prom king, but decades after high school.”
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert recapped Putin’s latest escalation in his war in Ukraine. On Monday, in retaliation for US support of Ukraine, Russia launched a cyber-attack temporarily taking down over a dozen US airport websites.
“Oh no! Not our airport websites!” Colbert deadpanned. “First thing I do every morning is check my email and then go straight to LaGuardiaAirport.com. I need to know the hours of the Terminal B Wetzel’s Pretzels.”
The host then checked in on a tight Senate race in Ohio between Tim Ryan and Republican JD Vance, the Hillbilly Elegy author who shifted from Trump critic to acolyte for his endorsement – so much so that Trump said at a rally last month, “JD is kissing my ass, he wants my support so much.”
“JD, if you want to do that, you’re going to have to squeeze in next to Lindsey Graham,” Colbert quipped. “Those two are like a couple of puppies fighting over a teat.”
In a recent debate, “no one made JD Vance look more out of touch than JD Vance,” said Colbert. He pointed to Vance’s comments on federal decriminalization of marijuana: “We have to be careful here not to be soft on crime, because a lot of times you’ll hear somebody thrown in prison for smoking a joint. If you look at the underlying charge, you’ll see that it wasn’t just that they smoked a joint. It’s that they smoked a joint and beat an elderly woman over the head with a pistol.
“Oh yeah, a lot of times you read that,” Colbert deadpanned. “I read that every day! I mean, marijuana famously leads to all kinds of violent crime – grand theft nacho, reckless engigglement, conspiracy to commit to a whole season of Planet Earth.”
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel mocked Donald Trump’s latest attempt to put down late-night television. The former president posted on his social network, Truth Social, that it was his “great honor to have destroyed the ratings of Late Night ‘Comedy’ shows” and that the “three hosts” have “very little talent”.
“So proud of himself like a tubby orange brat knocking over sandcastles at the beach,” Kimmel retorted. “I like that he says we have very little talent – that’s the same thing Stormy Daniels said about him but instead of talent she said penis.
“But if anyone knows talent it’s Donald Trump,” he continued. “He has walked backstage unannounced while young women were changing at some of the biggest talent competitions in the whole world.
“And as far as ratings go,” he added, “on behalf of my fellow late-night talkshow hosts – Jimmy, Stephen, Seth – we’ve been on for a total of 58 seasons and counting. Your presidency got cancelled after one.”
