Right, that’s it from me. Breathless afternoon on Clockwatch – as ever – thanks for following along.
Forest’s clash with Chelsea gets underway soon, you can follow that one with Barry Glendenning:
Despite huge issues off the pitch, Everton are delivering on it right now. Here is Andy Hunter’s report from the 1-0 over Sheffield United:
Newcastle are gunning for European football again, but their hopes of getting into the Europa League final suffered a blow against Brighton. Louise Taylor was there:
Arrividerci Calzona indeed. Bologna are 2-0 against Napoli up inside 20 minutes at the Stadio Diego Armando Maradona. A win for Bologna would put them very much on track for the Champions League next season, incredible stuff.
Jacob Steinberg was at the London Stadium for David Moyes’ final game as West Ham manager. It was a happy one for the Hammers, less so for Luton:
Updated
Here is Ed Aarons’ report from north London where Spurs have sent Burnley back to the Championship:
We’re ten minutes into the key Serie A clash between Napoli and Bologna, it’s 0-0.
Scottish League playoffs
Championship semi-finals
Hamilton Academical 3-2 Alloa Athletic
(Agg 5-4)
Inverness CT 1-0 Montrose
(Agg 1-0)
League One semi-finals
Peterhead 1-5 Spartans 5
(Agg 2-7)
Stirling Albion 0-0 Dumbarton 0
(Agg 1-2)
League Two finals (first leg)
East Kilbride 2-2 Stranraer
(Agg 2-2)
Scottish Premiership: full-time scores
Top six
Hearts 3-0 Dundee
St Mirren 0-1 Kilmarnock
Bottom six
Livingston 2-1 St Johnstone
Ross County 1-5 Motherwell
Premier League: full-time scores
Bournemouth 1-2 Brentford
Newcastle 1-1 Brighton
Tottenham 2-1 Burnley
West Ham 3-1 Luton Town
Wolves 1-3 Crystal Palace
Full-time: West Ham 3-1 Luton
Luton all-but down too, relegation will be confirmed if Nottingham Forest get a positive result in the 5.30pm KO.
Burnley are relegated!
All over at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium and the Clarets are down. They lead here, but Spurs roared back and that is it for Vincent Kompany’s men.
Goal! Bournemouth 1-2 Brentford (Wissa 90+5)
That seals it! Wissa is slipped in inside the box and fires home, great finish.
Updated
As it stands both Burnley and Luton (albeit not mathematically) are going down today.
Goal! Bournemouth 1-1 Brentford (Solanke 89)
He can put that mask back on now! The striker gets his goal with a looping header.
Goal! Bournemouth 0-1 Brentford (Mbuemo 86)
We’ve had two goals ruled out and a penalty called back for an offside but now we have a goal.
Updated
Red card! Wolves 1-3 Crystal Palace
Naouirou Ahamahama picks up a second yellow card and Palace will have to see this out with 10 men.
Goal! Tottenham 2-1 Burnley (Van de Ven 82)
What’s Micky van de Ven doing there? The centre back finds himself upfield and picks up the ball before undertaking a mazy run across the top of the box, he checks back and squeezes a shot past a wrong-footed Muric.
Updated
80min: Another big chance for Spurs, this time it’s Sarr. The midfielder moves on to his shot from just inside the box but Muric reads it and makes the save.
Goal! West Ham 3-1 Luton (Earthy 76)
Surely all over for the Hatters now, they’ve been brave this season but not solid enough at the back to survive.
Updated
78 min: How has Johnson missed that? Son cruises into the box and gets the ball across goal, Brennan Johnson is sliding in but can’t connect from less than a yard out at the back post.
Updated
In Scotland, East Kilbride have levelled to make it 2-2 against Stranraer, Livingston have equalised against St Johnstone and Spartans are now 5-1 up at Peterhead.
Goal! Wolves 1-3 Crystal Palace (Eze 73)
With the home side gambling to find an equaliser, Olise and Eze combine to strike a killer blow. Olise the architect and Eze the beneficiary.
Updated
68 min: Joelinton, Harvey Barnes and Almiron are on for Newcastle. Longstaff, Isak and Murphy withdrawn.
Updated
Hang on we have a goal! Wolves 1-2 Crystal Palace (Cunha 66)
VAR has a look and rules that Hwang was onside!
Goal! West Ham 2-1 Luton (Soucek 65)
Bad to worse for Luton as Tomas Soucek puts the Hammers ahead with a fabulous first-time volley from the edge of the box. Luton failing to clear their lines.
Updated
Disallowed goal at Molineux as Wolves think they’re back in the game. Matheus Cunha fires home at the end of a nice passing move, but Hwang Hee-chan was flagged as off-side earlier in the move.
Update from Scotland, Inverness now lead Montrose 1-0 in their Championship playoff, Spartans are 3-1 up at Peterhead and Stranraer lead 2-1 in the League Two final.
60min: Maddison, who was booked earlier in the half, should have Spurs ahead but can’t beat Murić with his low shot. That chance comes just after Burnley hit bar with a looping Fofano header. More goals to come here for sure.
Goal! West Ham 1-1 Luton (Ward-Prowse 54)
Bowen surges down the West Ham right and shoots low, Kaminski saves but it falls to Ward-Prowse but he rifles home. A reminder, the Hatters have to win if they want to stay up.
Updated
54min: Porro has a chance for a second, slipped in by Son the full-back slams a shot into the side netting.
Substitution at St James’ Park, goalscorer Veltman has gone off and Tariq Lamptey has come on. Unless the Dutchman is injured you have to think that is try and matchup Gordon’s pace.
Peeeeeeeeep!
Second halves underway across the Premier League (and elsewhere, of course).
The teams are coming back out for the second halves, action shortly.
Joshua Hardie is making me feel better about myself:
I’m not sure I agree with the idea this is a beachcombers meet and your commentary devalued. It seems to be more of an on the bench weekend. When there isn’t much for many teams to play for, but 89% of Fantasy Premier League players have bench boosted and had desperate throws of the dice for those mythical differentials. So every pass, assist, bonus point by Dunk is vital to make him worth the risk over Burn.
I triple captained and didn’t bench boost. Now I feel even more like a fool.
And now we hear from the man himself:
Nervous times for some clubs in the Scottish playoffs. Inverness, who played in the Scottish Cup final less than a year ago, are currently 0-0 on aggregate with Montrose at half time in the second leg of their play-off, and will drop down to Scottish League One if they lose today. And Stranraer, the third oldest club in Scotland after Queen’s Park and Kilmarnock, are drawing 1-1 at half time with Lowland League champions East Kilbride in the pyramid playoff, though they at least still have the second leg at home next week.
A bit of Simon McMahon love from Bogdan Kotarlic via email:
As someone who really likes Scottish football I am very grateful to Simon McMahon for his emails. Every weekend I read his short but extremelly interesting and witty reports. Also, it helps that this football season has been exciting in Scotland. Thank Simon, once again!
Scottish Playoffs half-time scores
Championship
Hamilton Academical 2-1 Alloa Athletic
(Agg 4-3)
Inverness CT 0-0 Montrose
(Agg 0-0)
League One
Peterhead 0-2 Spartans
(Agg 1-4)
Stirling Albion 0-0 Dumbarton
(Agg 1-2)
Scottish League Two final
East Kilbride 1-1 Stranraer
Scottish Premiership half-time scores
Top six
Hearts 1-0 Dundee
St Mirren 0-1 Kilmarnock 1
Bottom six
Livingston 0-1 St Johnstone
Ross County 1-2 Motherwell
Premier League half-time scores
Bournemouth 0-0 Brentford
Everton 1-0 Sheffield United
Newcastle 1-1 Brighton
Tottenham 1-1 Burnley
West Ham United 0-1 Luton Town
Wolves 0-2 Crystal Palace
Goal! Newcastle 1-1 Brighton (Longstaff 45+4)
Newcastle are level and Anthony Gordon is the architect here. The winger doesn’t get the assist, but he penetrates the Brighton backline and finds room in the box before sliding it to Lewis Hall who squares it to Longstaff to tap home.
Updated
Uh oh Alloa! Hamilton have come from 0-1 down to lead 2-1 and now the away side’s Morgyn Neill has been sent off for foul and abusive language.
Tough look for Solanke with that disallowed goal, he pulled on this mask to celebrate. Facepalm.
AFC Bournemouth v Brentford in their last home game of the Premier League season at Vitality stadium @Bournemouthecho @BmthEchoSport Dom solanke celebrates a goal which was then disallowed because of a handball pic.twitter.com/JyH7tCkV9R
— Richard Crease (@RichardCrease) May 11, 2024
41 min: Huge chance for Enciso to double lead, Welbeck releases Adingra down the Brighton left. The Ivorian clips a cross over to Enciso but his header is poor and doesn’t trouble Dubravka.
Updated
In the Scottish playoffs, Hamilton have equalised the match and the tie against Alloa, while Spartan now lead 2-0 at Peterhead.
Right, amongst that flurry goals Bournemouth also had one disallowed. Dominic Solanke thought he’d scored but VAR intervened after a handball in the buildup.
Goal! Tottenham 1-1 Burnley (Porro 32)
Pedro Porro marauds forward from right back, no one closes him down and he fires home.
Updated
Goal! Everton 1-0 Sheffield United (Doucoure 31)
In on the beach news, Abdoulaye Doucouré has Everton ahead. Sean Dyche won manager of the month for April, that completely passed me by.
Updated
Goal! Wolves 0-2 Crystal Palace (Mateta 28)
Nothing for 25 minutes then two quick goal! Mateta is quick to react in the box and continues his recent hot streak.
Updated
Goal! Wolves 0-1 Crystal Palace (Olise 26)
Not much had been happening at Molineux, that’s changed.
Updated
24 min: At St James’ Jacob Murphy has a shot from distance but Verbruggen saves easily.
Updated
Goal! Tottenham 0-1 Burnley (Bruun Larsen 25)
Well this is a shocker, Spurs split wide open and Burnley have the lead!
Updated
23 min: Bad news for West Ham, it sounds like Lucas Paqueta might be coming off with a knock.
Updated
20 min: Great defending from Lewis Dunk to get across Dan Burn as the big Newcastle defender tries to get on the end of Sean Longstaff’s centre. Not sure what Burn was doing there, but that was a big chance.
Updated
Goal! Newcastle 0-1 Brighton (Veltman 18)
Brighton take the lead through a very unlikely source, Billy Gilmour’s corner is a good one, Danny Welbeck flicks it on and Joel Veltman wins his scrap in the six yard box to force it in.
Updated
15 min: Bowen hits the post! Luton are living dangerously with their slender advantage as they try to play out from the back, a sloppy giveaway presents a chance to the England forward, who nearly brings his side level.
Updated
In the Scottish Premiership, it’s advantage St Johnstone. They lead 1-0 at Livingston, while Ross County trail at home against Motherwell.
Couple of Scottish playoff goals to report on, Spartans have extended their aggregate lead to 3-1 at Peterhead in the Scottish League One clash and in the Championship have edged Alloa have edged 3-2 ahead in the tie with an early strike from Quinn Coullson.
Goal! West Ham 0-1 Luton (Sambi Lokonga 6))
After that delayed start it appears West Ham haven’t got going yet either and Albert Sambi Lokonga has given the Hatters an early lead. Vital goal for Luton.
Updated
5 min: Big save from Vicario to keep it goaless at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium as he denies Vitinho, but there is big news coming from east London.
Updated
5 min: Newcastle have had the better of the opening stages at St James’. Brighton haven’t been able to get on the ball at so far. Lewis Hall has won a free-kick in a dangerous area on their left, he sends it in but Bart Verburggen gathers easily.
Updated
Slight delay in the start at the London Stadium due to a faulty sprinkler flooding a small area of pitch. We’ve had kick-off there now.
Peeeeeep!
We are underway.
Jeremy Boyce has emailed in to belittle my work provide some perspective:
You’ve ended up with a mostly ‘on the beach’ afternoon here, with little left to play for for most of the protagonists. The Luton-Forest situation being one exception, plus those hoping to get on Gareth’s 26-seater bus for the Euros. But there’s a good one in Serie A, where Bolgna could virtually seal their place in the Champions League with an away win at in-tatters Napoli, who’s 2023 Scudetto must already feel like ancient history to the players and fans, given how they have fallen apart this time round. Arrividerci Calzona?
Very much noted on Napoli v Bologna, I’ll track that as reports come in from the sunny shores of the Premier League. RE Napoli in particular, Calzona is their fourth coach since they lifted the Scudetto last year – hardly a recipe for success that.
I covered some of this off in my preamble, but I’m always grateful for Simon McMahon’s fitba emails:
After Celtic effectively sealed the Scottish Premiership title by beating Rangers earlier, focus now turns to the bottom of the SPL, as already relegated Livingston host second bottom St. Johnstone. The Perth side are two points behind Ross County, but could leapfrog them today with a win, if County fail to beat Motherwell in Dingwall. It’s all to play for, as it will be when the Highlanders travel to Perth in midweek. There’s also playoff action aplenty, with all four semi finals ties in the Scottish Championship and League One promotion-relegation battles delicately poised after the first legs.
Don’t look back in anger, eh Noel?
Let’s be clear about this: Noel Gallagher doesn’t do the Poznan … pic.twitter.com/Qf0slgDBsT
— Daniel Taylor (@DTathletic) May 11, 2024
This is big for the title race in the Scottish Premiership, Celtic have beaten 10-man Rangers at Celtic Park. Scott Murray with all the post-match reaction:
Full-time at Craven Cottage, where City have won 4-0. Reaction with Barry:
Some thoughts on those starting XIs, Oliver Skipp must be playing left-back for Spurs and James Maddison is back in the starting lineup. Emerson Royal and Rodrigo Bentancur drop out, but without Timo Werner and Richarlison that bench looks pretty thin.
Joelinton is back on the bench for Newcastle, but Callum Wilson is out with Eddie Howe telling reporters that the England striker is “not 100%”, Elliot Anderson comes in to replace him. Kieran Trippier is back is also back in the squad alongside recent absentees Miguel Almiron and Nick Pope. For Brighton, Julio Enciso starts after it was revealed on Friday that top-scorer Joao Pedro had picked up an ankle knock.
For David Moyes’ farewell to the London Stadium, his West Ham side sees James Ward-Prowse return with Edson Alvarez, who picked up a knock last weekend, dropping to the bench.
Team news: Everton v Sheff Utd
Everton: Pickford, Coleman, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Young, Garner, Gueye, Onana, McNeil, Doucoure, Calvert-Lewin.
Subs: Keane, Danjuma, Virginia, Beto, Andre Gomes, Godfrey, Chermiti, Warrington, Dobbin.
Sheff Utd: Foderingham, Vinicius Souza, Trusty, Robinson, Bogle, Hamer, Arblaster, Brooks, Larouci, Archer, Brereton.
Subs: Lowe, Brewster, Grbic, Norwood, Ben Slimane, McAtee, Curtis, Osula, Sasnauskas.
Team news: Wolves v Crystal Palace
Wolves: Jose Sa, Nelson Semedo, Kilman, Gomes, Doherty, Joao Gomes, Mario Lemina, Traore, Ait Nouri, Hwang, Matheus Cunha.
Subs: Santiago Bueno, Hugo Bueno, Doyle, Sarabia, Bentley, Bellegarde, Gonzalez, Chirewa, Fraser.
Crystal Palace: Henderson, Clyne, Andersen, Richards, Munoz, Wharton, Hughes, Mitchell, Olise, Eze, Mateta.
Subs: Ward, Guehi, Ayew, Schlupp, Edouard, Ahamada, Matthews, Rak-Sakyi, Ozoh.
Team news: Bournemouth v Brentford
Bournemouth: Travers, Smith, Zabarnyi, Senesi, Kelly, Cook, Christie, Semenyo, Kluivert, Ouattara, Solanke.
Subs: Neto, Scott, Tavernier, Adams, Hill, Unal, Billing, Aarons, Sadi.
Brentford: Flekken, Ajer, Collins, Pinnock, Reguilon, Damsgaard, Norgaard, Janelt, Mbeumo, Toney, Lewis-Potter.
Subs: Jensen, Schade, Wissa, Jorgensen, Ghoddos, Strakosha, Roerslev, Valdimarsson, Yarmolyuk.
Team news: West Ham v Luton
West Ham: Areola, Coufal, Zouma, Ogbonna, Emerson Palmieri, Ward-Prowse, Soucek, Bowen, Lucas Paqueta, Kudus, Antonio.
Subs: Fabianski, Johnson, Cresswell, Cornet, Ings, Alvarez, Earthy, Casey, Mubama.
Luton: Kaminski, Burke, Mengi, Osho, Onyedinma, Sambi Lokonga, Barkley, Doughty, Morris, Chong, Adebayo.
Subs: Ogbene, Berry, Woodrow, Mpanzu, Clark, Krul, Hashioka, Townsend, Johnson.
Team news: Newcastle v Brighton
Newcastle: Dubravka, Livramento, Krafth, Burn, Hall, Longstaff, Bruno Guimaraes, Anderson, Jacob Murphy, Isak, Gordon.
Subs: Trippier, Dummett, Joelinton, Ritchie, Barnes, Pope, Almiron, White, Alex Murphy.
Brighton: Verbruggen, Veltman, Webster, Dunk, Igor, Gross, Gilmour, Buonanotte, Enciso, Adingra, Welbeck.
Subs: Lamptey, Lallana, Moder, Baleba, Steele, Fati, Offiah, Baker-Boaitey, O’Mahony.
Team news: Tottenham v Burnley
Tottenham: Vicario, Porro, Romero, van de Ven, Skipp, Bissouma, Sarr, Kulusevski, Maddison, Johnson, Son.
Subs: Hojbjerg, Dragusin, Gil Salvatierra, Emerson, Lo Celso, Bentancur, Austin, Scarlett, Moore.
Burnley: Muric, Assignon, O’Shea, Esteve, Taylor, Vitinho, Cullen, Berge, Bruun Larsen, Foster, Odobert.
Subs: Trafford, Gudmundsson, Brownhill, Rodriguez, Benson, Ekdal, Fofana, Amdouni, Ndayishimiye.
City have just gone 2-0 up at Fulham, Phil Foden getting his 17th league goal of the season.
Follow the last half hour or so with Barry Glendenning:
Team news coming up in 15 minutes, but we have coverage of couple of other big games currently ongoing:
Preamble
Six – count them – SIX 3pm BST kick-offs in the Premier League today. A rare feast of Saturday afternoon football in the top flight. Most of the interest will be at the bottom end of the table, with Burnley and Luton both needing results to take their relegation battles to the final day of the season.
The Clarets must win at Spurs and for Luton for it’s the same at West Ham, but both need Nottingham Forest to succumb to Chelsea in Saturday’s late game. Mathematically, Rob Edwards’ men cannot be relegated today, but their double-digit goal difference to Forest would require something highly questionable to occur on the final day if Nuno Espirito Santo’s side get all three points against the Blues.
Spurs still have an outside chance of Champions League football next season but only if they win and Aston Villa fail to get more than two points from their remaining fixtures. Newcastle, who take on a flatlining Brighton at St James’ Park, will be hoping for Tottenham to slip up as Europa League remains a possibility if Eddie Howe’s side can continue their strong recent form.
The remaining matches look distinctly mid-table with Wolves taking on a resurgent Crystal Palace, Bournemouth welcoming Brentford to the Vitality and Everton facing already-relegated Sheffield United – a fixture that even diehards will be struggling to get up for.
In Scotland, after today’s early kick-off for the Old Firm, Ross County, who host Motherwell, and St Johnstone, who visit relegated Livingstone, are scrapping it out to avoid the relegation playoff. St Mirren scan still earn a Europa League playoff spot but need a positive result at home against Kilmarnock, the team one place above them, to keep that dream alive.
I’ll also be tracking the second legs of the Scottish Championship and League One playoffs this afternoon.
