Dave Hytner was at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium to watch Tottenham Hotspur do the necessary against Burnley. I’ll leave you with his report – night.
“Older MBMers might remember both John Tudor who played alongside Malcolm McDonald at Newcastle and Tudor crisps,” writes Iain Chambers. “I still say ‘Great flavours Tudor’ in a geordie accent to this day when I see the word Tudor.”
With seconds to go and the goalkeeper up, @BurnleyOfficial almost snatch a leveller 😱#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/80QTrT6U8v
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
Full time: Tottenham 1-0 Burnley
It can’t always be sunshine and smooth rotations, not even at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Spurs were nowhere near their best but they’re in the fourth round thanks to a knuckleball screamer from Pedro Porro.
90+7 min: Tottenham 1-0 Burnley Two late chances for Burnley! First Delcroix’s shot, from Tresor’s precise cutback, is diverted behind for one last corner on the right. It’s curled to the near post, where the keeper Muric wins the header and flicks the ball across goal. It’s just behind Amdouni, unmarked six yards out, and he flicks an improvised volley just wide!
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90+3 min: Tottenham 1-0 Burnley The keeper Muric comes up for a Burnley corner – and then gallops whence he came when Tresor’s inswinger is headed away at the near post.
Match report: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham
90 min: Tottenham 1-0 Burnley There will be seven minutes of added time. As things stand, Spurs are going through thanks to this screamer from Pedro Porro.
OH MY 🤯
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
A moment of brilliance from @Pedroporro29_ for @SpursOfficial 💥#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/XYtGcPcTf7
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89 min: Tottenham 1-0 Burnley A clever cutback from the substitute Tresor is sidefooted well wide by Brownhill, under pressure 20 yards out.
Match report: Brentford 1-1 Wolves
“Our local sells some sort of posh crisps from Barcelona,” writes Tom Stratford, “but sadly I’m struggling to think of any obvious footballer puns…”
86 min: Tottenham 1-0 Burnley Ryan Sessegnon, just on as sub, has a shot that is pushed round the post by Muric. Spurs are in control.
“Can you do a ‘Last time Spurs failed to score two goals at home’ post?” says Phil Moseley. “We need the margin. Thanks.”
Oh go on then. The last time Spurs failed to score twice at home was one month and no managers ago: the 2-1 defeat at home to West Ham in the Premier League.
It was a mighty goal from Pedro Porro. Moments after Richarlison missed a good chance, Muric’s throw-out was intercepted 35 yards from goal by Pedro Porro. He ran about 10 yards, considered his options and crashed a spectacular shot into the far corner. Porro struck the ball as if he was kicking it out of sand, and it wobbled both ways before flying past the motionless Muric. What a goal!
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GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 Burnley (Pedro Porro 79)
The very thought that an Ange Postecoglu team would fail to score.
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76 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley The last time Spurs failed to score at home was ten months and three managers ago: the goalless draw against Milan that put them out of the Champions League. Though they have been better in the second half, they still don’t particularly look like scoring.
“Crisps,” says Gary Naylor. “That’s two XIs tonight missing Papedom Sarr.”
Bonus points for the Artie Bucco pronunciation.
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Full time: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham
Fulham win another cup match, this time under the auspices of the Football Association. Bobby De Cordova-Reid thrashed a spectacular first-half winner against a game but limited Rotherham.
70 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Kulusevski tries to keep the ball in play in the Burnley area. Muric ushers the ball behind for a goalkick and then, a little weirdly, puts his gloved palm into Kulusevski’s face. Team VAR have a quick look and then checkcomplete the thing.
69 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Another VAR check for a Spurs penalty comes up dry, this time after a challenge on Johnson.
“Yes, that’s the joke!” says Liz White of the ‘You’ll Never Eat Des Walkers’ chant. “Shockingly, despite growing up in a football-free environment, I actually knew that because of shutdown-era MOTD Top 10.”
A-ha, I didn’t realise it had been mentioned on there – I heard it a few years ago on Sky’s One2Eleven feature.
Also, peak Des Walker – either side of Italia 90 - would be worth £80m now. For about five years he was sensationally good.
66 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Johnson’s volley is pushed away by Muric, diving to his left – another good rather than great save.
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65 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley The Burnley left-back Charlie Taylor has gone off with a shoulder injury. Meanwhile, they’re into added time at Craven Cottage.
“I’ve been following the MBM, and listening out for the commentary of the Spurs – Burnley game, and am reassured that there’s been no especially grotesque VAR call or handball scandal,” says Charles Antaki. “On the other hand, that means that we’ve been denied hearing Lee Dixon pronounce that the game’s gone. At least until the next time.”
I wonder who was the first person/football man to utter that phrase. I think the guy on the tannoy at Leicester, an ex-player whose name I forget, said it in the mid-1990s.
Edit: Alan Birchenall!
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“Crisps,” says Martin Beesley. “Mac Millings is forgetting Martin Pringle.”
Alas, his goalscoring record at Charlton didn’t quite adhere to the ‘Once you pop, you just can’t stop!’ slogan
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81 min: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham One-nil is a dangerous lead, but sometimes it feel safer than others. Though Rotherham have had more of the ball in the second half, they still haven’t had a shot on target in the match.
Full time: Brentford 1-1 Wolves
A replay isn’t ideal for either team, though Wolves would have taken it when they were a goal and a man down at half-time. Joao Gomes was sent off early on for a poor tackle on Christian Norgaard before Neal Maupay put Brentford ahead. Wolves stayed in the game, though, and the on-loan Tommy Doyle equalised with a heatseeker from 25 yards.
Just Tommy Doyle doing Tommy Doyle things 🤷
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
The @Wolves man just loves to score screamers 🚀#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/5EHfzYRuSB
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53 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Spurs have played with a bit more urgency since the break, though all of their shots have been from distance.
50 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Kulusevski cuts inside from the right and curls a nice effort just over the bar.
“You’ll never eat Des Walkers,” writes Liz White, with emojis and everything. “You’ll never eat Des Walkers.
“Too much? Too obvious? Any better chants?”
The best thing about this is that, in the non-crisp world, the man himself used to sing “You’ll never beat Des Walker” in Gary Lineker’s ear during matches.
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46 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley They’re back under way in north London. Burnley have brought on Jacob Bruun Larsen for Lyle Foster.
The latest scores
Brentford 1-1 Wolves (86 min)
Fulham 1-0 Rotherham (71 min)
Tottenham 0-0 Burnley (HT)
Tomorrow, 12.45pm
78 min: Brentford 1-1 Wolves Ten-Man Wolves™ are 12 minutes away from a replay.
Introducing… the Mac Millings Crisps XI
“Okay, fine, Bob. I’m nothing if not subservient,” he mumbles. “Here’s my all-time Crisps XI. Or as I like to call them, Borussia MonsterMönchengladbach:
Salt & Shake Given
Des Walkers
Dave Wotsits
Tony Doritos
Roysters Keane
Oliver Skips
D-Isco-s
Alan Smiths
Niknaks Barmby
Ally McCoyst
Lays Ferdinand
Arf. D-Isco-s is inspired. I like that you managed to include Alan Smith (Leeds) and Alan Smith (Arsenal) as well.
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Half time: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley
Boring, boring Tottenham.
53 min: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham Still just the one shot on target at either end, Bobby De Cordova-Reid’s first-half goal.
42 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Spurs started well, and a goal looked imminent for the first 15-20 minutes. Since then Burnley have been pretty comfortable. Spurs have had no rhythm in attack.
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GOAL! Brentford 1-1 Wolves (Doyle 64)
Tommy Doyle has equalised for Wolves with a belter! The substitute Pedro Neto took a short corner on the right, got the ball back and pushed it infield to Doyle, 25 yards out. He shifted the ball away from the charging defender, onto his left foot, and lasered it past the diving Thomas Strakosha. That’s a stunning strike.
Just Tommy Doyle doing Tommy Doyle things 🤷
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
The @Wolves man just loves to score screamers 🚀#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/5EHfzYRuSB
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36 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley It’s been a decent half for Vincent Kompany, whose much-changed team are holding their own against Spurs. They’ve lived on the edge, but they’ve also had the best chance.
Richard Hirst has another contender for a crisps XI: Tyrell Malacia.
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“Dearest Rob,” writes Mac Millings. “Who or what is the Rotherham Viktor Johansson (Half time: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham)? Is it the other Rotherham goalie? Is it Viktor Johansson himself, but after going through the portal into his own brain? Or is it more like being the Burnley Lara? Yours, The South Carolina Mac Millings.”
Any time you fancy a go at a Clockwatch, Millings, just let me know. It’s not all Banter XIs and shopping lists.
Hang on! The official Emirates FA Cup account on FFS, formerly known as Twitter, has clips of the three matches!
Here are the two goals so far.
There's no stopping that 😳@nealmaupay_ @BrentfordFC#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/C4EcGZmeLA
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
Made them pay 💪
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
Some hit from @bobbyreid93 for @FulhamFC 💥#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/fW6WmEkU5x
And here’s that excellent chance for Zeki Amdouni.
A huge chance goes amiss for @BurnleyOfficial 😬
— Emirates FA Cup (@EmiratesFACup) January 5, 2024
What an assist that would've been 😮💨#EmiratesFACup pic.twitter.com/DQ2ajeWCkY
30 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Amdouni accidentally stamps on Lo Celso’s shin after jumping to avoid his initial challenge. He’s okay.
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55 min: Brentford 1-0 Wolves “Ah, come on, Rob,” says Matt Dony, unfurling his fishing rod. “Surely the euphoric Luke Littler run had some restorative powers. The sheer joy must have been good for your wellbeing, adding years to your life expectancy. You can balance that out with some sneaky VAR chat. You know you want to. The guiltiest of guilty pleasures. Calvert-Lewin deserved to go. Deep down, we all know this to be true. VAR is saving football.”
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27 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Burnley keep getting caught trying to play out, though when they do get through the press they look dangerous. As I type Amdouni has just missed a great chance, blootering over from 10 yards after a lovely scooped return ball by Zaroury. He was flagged offside but replays showed he was clearly on.
“Happy magic of the cup eve to you,” says Niall Mullen. “Oliver Skipp and midlife ennui had me wondering if it’s possible to put together a football crisp brand XI. Apart from Mr Skipp himself I came up with Ian Walker (arbitrary rule only one use for Walker), Ledley King, Ally McCoyst, Tony Doritos… I imagine the MBM readers can do better.”
I’m certain that one particular reader is up to the job. O Millings, where are thou?
22 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley There was a VAR check for a red card as well. I think it was for the challenge after Cullen’s, when the ball ran loose. Either way, the match continues 11 v 11.
21 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley The Burnley captain Josh Cullen is booked for a foul on Lo Celso. He won the ball but took a shortcut through Lo Celso to get there.
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Half time: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham
Fulham lead through Bobby De Cordova’s blistering rising drive. They’ve been comfortable without giving the Rotherham Viktor Johansson much else to do.
16 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Another chance for Richarlison, who this time drags a low left-foot shot that is comfortably saved by Muric, falling to his left. That wasn’t such an easy chance – the angle was slightly tighter and he had two defenders in his personal space.
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The latest scores
Brentford 1-0 Wolves (HT)
Fulham 1-0 Rotherham (44 min)
Tottenham 0-0 Burnley (14 min)
39 min: Fulham 1-0 Rotherham Bobby De Cordova-Reid’s sizzling goal is the only shot on target at either end. Fulham have dominated but Rotherham will be reasonably pleased with that.
10 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Johnson cuts inside from the left and hits an extravagant curler that is pushed away by the flying Muric. A comfortable save in the end but a good effort.
10 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Richarlison makes an excellent run, onto a through pass from Skipp, only to drag a left-foot shot across goal and wide. Decent chance.
9 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley It’s been a bright, open start in north London. Burnley have come to play, as they always do.
Brentford 1-0 Wolves Crikey, I’ve just seen a replay of a challenge by Mikkel Damsgaard on Tommy Doyle that looked as bad if not worse than Gomes’s on Norgaard. A foul wasn’t given and VAR didn’t get involved. Is this some kind of sadistic experiment to see what will finally make Gary O’Neil crack?
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Half time: Brentford 1-0 Wolves
A dominant first half for Brentford, although their injury list has had an unwelcome addition. Christian Norgaard limped off early on after being caught by Joao Gomes, who was given a straight red card. Neal Maupay scored the only goal just before half-time.
4 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley VAR told the referee to stop the game while they checked the challenge by Zadoury on Udogie. In the end they decided there was nothing clear or obvious to justify an intervention.
3 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley Spurs have a shout for a penalty turned down; about 10 seconds later, Foster fresh-airs a volley from the edge of the area.
1 min: Tottenham 0-0 Burnley The third and final game is under way, with the added bonus that Clive Tyldesley and Lee Dixon are on commentary for ITV.
GOAL Brentford 1-0 Wolves (Maupay 41)
Neal Maupay, back in the Brentford side tonight, has put them ahead against ten-man Wolves. Mathias Jensen’s free-kick bounced around the Wolves penalty area until Maupay took control and welted it past Jose Sa.
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GOAL! Fulham 1-0 Rotherham (De Cordova-Reid 24)
Bobby De Cordova-Reid begins 2024 as he ended 2023, on the scoresheet. It was a peach of a goal, thrashed into the top corner from 22 yards after Rotherham were caught trying to play out.
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33 min: Brentford 0-0 Wolves; 19 min: Fulham 0-0 Rotherham
“João Gomes’ tackle on Christian Nørgaard looked fairly innocuous on first viewing, but Tony Harrington didn’t hesitate to give a red card,” writes Kári Tulinius. “Once they showed the close-up it looked really bad indeed, with Nørgaard’s ankle feeling the full force of Gomes’ studs. He had to leave the field, unable to put weight on his foot, and was replaced by Vitaly Janelt.”
I’ve seen it now. Post-VAR I haven’t a clue what to think, particularly with challenges that are probably accidental. BUT WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS TONIGHT, ARE WE.
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29 min: Brentford 0-0 Ten-Man Wolves
Looking for a goal against his former club 👊
— Brentford FC (@BrentfordFC) January 5, 2024
We move the ball around nicely on the edge of the Wolves box, opening up a chance for Collins which curls just over the bar from 25 yards
🐝 0-0 🐺#BREWOL | #BrentfordFC
“Lovely article about the Rotherham supporters, and one wishes them an away win soon … but not tonight!” says Richard Hirst. “However, just as they say wouldn’t it be just like Rotherham to win at a Premier League club having not won anywhere else, wouldn’t it be just like Fulham to lose against Rotherham having just beaten Arsenal. I can’t believe we could lose, so why do I believe we could lose?”
Is it because you were at this game and you’ll never trust anyone or anything ever again?
RED CARD! Brentford 0-0 Wolves
Wolves are down to 10 men inside the first 10 minutes at Brentford. Joao Gomes was given a straight red card for catching Christian Norgaard on the Achilles. I haven’t seen it because Spurs v Burnley is the only one of the three games being shown in England, but there’s a bit of debate on FFS, formerly known as Twitter, about whether the challenge was worthy of a strong yellow or a red.
Norgaard has limped off to be replaced by Vitaly Janelt.
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“For all that they moan (sometimes justifiably) about VAR, managers must secretly love it,” says David Wall. “Rather than having to explain why his main striker doesn’t know how to tackle and so will miss three matches, Sean Dyche gets to complain about a decision that few would have objected to if the referee had made the right decision initially.
“Instead of submitting what should be futile appeals against the decision his time would be better spent devising a training programme on tackling technique that Dominic Calvert-Lewin can follow while sitting out those games. It’s really not that hard to tackle properly; it completely baffles me how many professionals can’t do it. Don’t they teach that in academies? Learning to keep your foot close to the floor is a good thing to start with. After all, that’s where the ball is very often found.”
I’m sorry, I can’t do another night talking about VAR and refereeing decisions. I’m aiming to live to 50 and there’s no chance if we visit this little stress buffet every second night.
Ange speaks
▪️ The FA Cup tradition
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) January 5, 2024
▪️ Missing Son, Bissouma and Sarr
▪️ Bentancur as skipper
Spurs boss Ange Postecoglou spoke to @Becky_Ives_ before his side take on Burnley 💬 pic.twitter.com/kpxr7EVi2y
Tottenham v Burnley team news
The biggest bit of team news is arguably squirreled away among the subs: Micky van de Ven returns to the Tottenham matchday squad for the first time since injury his hamstring against Chelsea in November.
Spurs (possible 4-2-3-1) Vicario; Pedro Porro, Emerson Royal, Davies, Udogie; Skipp, Bentancur (c); Kulusevski, Lo Celso, Johnson; Richarlison.
Substitutes: Donley, Dorrington, Forster, Gil, Hojbjerg, Phillips, Scarlett, Sessegnon, Van de Ven.
Burnley (possible 4-4-2) Muric; Vitinho, O’Shea, Delcroix, Taylor; Odobert, Ramsey, Cullen, Zaroury; Foster, Amdouni.
Substitutes: Vigouroux, Brownhill, Rodriguez, Roberts, Redmond, Al-Dakhil, Cork, Tresor, Bruun Larsen.
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Pre-match reading: Tottenham v Burnley
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Pre-match reading: Fulham v Rotherham
Fulham v Rotherham team news
Between them, Marco Silva and Leam Richardson have changed an entire XI: eight for Fulham, three for Rotherham.
The survivors from Fulham’s terrific win over Arsenal are Timothy Castagne, Tosin Adarabioyo and Bobby De Cordova-Reid.
Rotherham bring in the former Nottingham Forest midfielder Cafu, aka Cafu.
Fulham (4-2-3-1) Rodak; Tete, Tosin, Diop, Castagne; Reed, Lukic; Wilson, Andreas, De Cordova-Reid; Muniz.
Substitutes: Benda, De Fougerolles, Robinson, Cairney, Palhinha, Francois, Willian, Raul Jimenez, Vinicius.
Rotherham (possible 5-3-2) Johansson; Lembikisa, Odoffin, Morrison, Revan, Bramall; Lindsay, Clucas, Cafu; Eaves, Hugill.
Substitutes: Phillips, Peltier, Bola, Rathbone, Tiehi, Appiah, Kelly, Nombe, McGuckin.
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Brentford v Wolves team news
It gives me great pleasure to report that my room-reading skills leave a fair bit to be desired: both managers have picked pretty strong teams, with only three changes apiece from their last Premier League game.
Brentford (possible 3-5-2) Strakosha; Collins, Zanka, Pinnock; Roerslev, Jensen, Norgaard, Dasilva, Damsgaard; Maupay, Lewis-Potter.
Substitutes: Balcombe, Peart-Harris, Baptiste, Janelt, Yarmoliuk, Olakigbe, Brierley, Adedokun, Fredrick.
Wolves (possible 3-4-2-1) Sa; Kilman, Bueno, Toti; Nelson Semedo, Gomes, Doyle, Doherty; Sarabia, Bellegarde; Cunha.
Substitutes: King, Mosquera, Keto-Diyawa, Hodge, Griffiths, Chirewa, Barnett, Neto, Kalajdzic.
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Ange Postecoglou did not want to say who would captain Tottenham in Friday night’s tie against Burnley. The usual choice, Son Heung-min, is away on Asian Cup duty while the vice-captains, Cristian Romero and James Maddison, are injured.
Read more…
Preamble
Hello and welcome to our first dedicated FA Cup clockwatch of the 2023-24 season. It won’t be the last; you can have that information for nowt. There are three games tonight, all involving teams who may not be entirely in thrall to the romance of the cup.
Brentford v Wolves (7.15pm)
Fulham v Rotherham (7.30pm)
Tottenham v Burnley (8pm)
The biggest priority for Brentford, Burnley and Rotherham is to avoid relegation. Spurs, despite the dangerously high levels of air pollution in their trophy room, would probably prefer to finish in the top four than win the FA Cup, and may decide to rest their best players given their injury crisis.
Fulham and Wolves could probably have a crack at glory, as Fulham are doing in the Carabao Cup, but they may also take the pragmatic option.
The team news will reveal much, if not all.
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