Jonathan Wilson has filed his match report, so that’s my cue to see if Ruben Amorim’s defence can do any better than Ange’s. Thanks for your company, correspondence and entertaining suggestions for Sean Dyche.
“Am I the only one,” asks Ian Sargeant, ”to think there was an element of doubt about the penalty? Son moves into Kepa’s path instead of running along the line of the ball, and he left his feet there to ensure the connection. If he keeps running in the direction of the ball there’s no contact…”
Back to the question of where Spurs go from here. “I like the cut of Kieran McKintosh’s jib,” says Rick Harris, “however I think a far more radical move would be Ruben Amorim to replace Postecoglou with Ruud Van Nistelrooy taking up the reins at Old Trafford.” Interesting. “Europa League won off 3-4-3 as the Spurs squad seem far better suited to this than the United one, and 4-4-2 might actually work for Zirkzee and Hojlund.”
The upshot is that Bournemouth move up one place to eighth. Their goal difference (a healthy +13) takes them above Newcastle, who go to West Ham tomorrow night. Spurs remain 13th, as they were always going to, but the point they won with that penalty takes them a little further ahead of Everton, Man United and West Ham. What a strange sight that is: a cluster of big-time mediocrity, with only one manager still in place from the start of the season – Ange.
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FULL TIME! Spurs 2-2 Bournemouth
And that is that. Spurs hardly ever draw at home, but they have now. Bournemouth were the better team, only to be let down by Kepa, who gave away a penalty and cost them two points.
90+2 min At one end, Ouattara threatens to break away down the left but Spence, who has moved across to right-back, sees him off. At the other, Maddison messes up a lofted through ball to Solanke, who, for once, doesn’t even bother to chase it.
90+1 min This is the first of six extra minutes. And Bournemouth are the Prem’s leading team in added time, with eight goals this season.
89 min Bournemouth should be ahead again! Ouattara, in acres in the box, has only to lay a simple ball back to Kluivert, but he underhits it and Spurs escape. Meanwhile Maddison has been booked and Udogie has come on, so Ange has played his last card.
“I for one would be delighted to see Sean Dyche at the helm,” says Colin Young. “Enough with all this crazy experimentalism. His tried and tested no-nonsense football is just what Spurs need. And I say that as Arsenal fan.”
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86 min Well, it did seem as if Ange was always planning to win the game with his subs. He hasn’t quite managed it yet, but he’s close. Maddison and Son have certainly given Spurs a lift, but maybe that just shows that at least one of them should have been in the starting XI.
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GOAL! Spurs 2-2 Bournemouth (Son 84)
Can Kepa redeem himself? No. Son sends him the wrong way and passes into the net.
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No doubt about it. Maddison had sent a fine ball through to Son, but he was heading for the byline, not the goal.
PENALTY! To Spurs
Kepa has given Spurs a lifeline. Son was racing down the left, but he wasn’t going anywhere.
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78 min It’s still end to end. Now Bournemouth win a corner. Tavernier goes long with it but his mates at the back of the scrum can’t keep it in.
Here’s Peter Oh. “I think retired actuaries and statistics professors would agree that Spurs’ expected groan (xGr) stat is red-lining at the moment. I suppose that for Spurs, playing out of the back is a bit like snapping a dislocated shoulder back into place. Straightforward in principle but painful to experience and hard to watch.”
75 min Just before that, after four subs from Ange, Iraola decided it was time for his first changes. Ryan Christie went off injured, to be replaced by Alex Scott, while Evanilson gave way to Dango Ouattara.
73 min It had been at least three minutes since anyone hit the post, but now they have. Kluivert, running onto a simple pass forward from Tavernier, beats Vicario with a low shot, but can’t quite beat the far stick.
72 min “Great shout re Dyche,” says Ian Sargeant, “though I’m not sure he will fit in with the charcuterie/ boulangerie/ fromagerie. He couldn’t get a tune out of Dele Ali. Maybe he’d have a better chance at Deli Alley...”
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Sarr, at inside-right, looked as if he was aiming to cross. Then he saw that nobody was closing him down, so he might as well have a go. And he curled the ball in off the far post. Just before that, Bergvall had hit the post too, with a crisp low shot from distance. Life in the old Spurs yet.
GOAL! Spurs 1-2 Bournemouth (Sarr 67)
Game on!
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Again, this is a good finish and an even better assist. Kluivert, in the hole, lets the ball run across him, so he can turn and slip the ball through to Evanilson. He keeps calm and lifts a dink over Vicario.
GOAL!! Spurs 0-2 Bournemouth (Evanilson 65)
They deserved a second, and now they’ve got it.
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64 min Maddison bursts into space in the inside-left zone and tees up Sarr, who could do better than shoot wide.
62 min Shot! That man Kerkez blasts a shot from a tight angle and Vicario has to be quick to tip it over the bar.
61 min Ange sends on two more subs: James Maddison and Micky van de Ven, who gets an ovation.
59 min The game is wide open now. It’s as if the teams have agreed to pretend that they’ve reached the 80th minute.
“Seeing as the Spurs faithful are calling for Ange’s head,” says Kieran McKintosh, “and seeing that no one else will call for this, I will.” Go on …
“Sean Dyche to North London. Europa League won off 4-4-2 and goalless-drawing all opponents into such frustration they forfeit. Let’s go!”
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55 min Spurs are cut open again. Kluivert breaks free in the inside-right channel, but his cross is a poor one. Spurs manage to escape and get up the other end, where there’s another disappointing cross, from Odobert.
54 min Chance! Son serves up his signature dish – a jink in from the left and a curling shot that goes just past the far post.
No goal! (Kluivert 51)
It’s happened again! A beautiful Bournemouth counter … but hang on, there’s a whiff of offside. The VAR confirms it and gets the biggest cheer of the afternoon.
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48 min Spurs look better already. Solanke is more involved, holding the ball up tenaciously. He’s such a good all-round striker, yet when he left Bournemouth for Spurs, Spurs got worse and Bournemouth got better. It’s almost as if this is a team game.
46 min Son immediately tracks back to help out with the passing, which goes a lot more smoothly as a result.
Ange sees the need to do something. He brings on Son for Johnson (who was bright on the right) and Bergvall for Bissouma.
The fans are losing faith in Ange
“As a Spurs season ticket holder,” says Martin Gamage, “’m glad I’ve taken this game off. A performance to make the blood run cold; Spurs attempting to play out and repeatedly presenting Bournemouth with the ball. No exaggeration so say Bournemouth could be three up. Spurs can only get better. Can’t they?”
Tom Costello is even more disgruntled. “I’m following the game via your report,” he says. “Can’t be bothered even watching on TV. Sounds like it’s panning out exactly as I thought it would. Not usually a merchant of gloom, but it’s not about injuries any more. It looks like Ange’s time is up.”
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More on the great xG debate. “As an actual real professor of statistics,” says Bob O’Hara, “I think Joe Pearson is misleading you. You are right that an xG of 3.5:1 would suggest, on average, 3-1 or 4-1. Opta are explicit that this is what in the trade is called an expectation (in essence an average). Unfortunately Opta didn’t attend my stats course, otherwise they would understand the importance of reporting prediction errors (aka ‘how far away from a fire-breathing dragon can you safely stand?’).” Nice title.
Kerkez, someone at Sky has worked out, ran 63 yards before hitting that cross. What a player he is.
An update from the emergency department. “Shoulder now back in,” says Mark Goodchild, “but after reading the opening 5 mins of Spurs’ defending, now have heart problems!!”
It’s been a curious game. Spurs have had most of the possession and have strung together some nice moves, but nearly all the threat has come at the other end – also thanks to Spurs’ passing, which has been comical. Bournemouth have had the sharpest tools in the box, led by Kluivert and Kerkez, whose assist for Tavernier’s goal was a beauty.
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HALF-TIME! Spurs 0-1 Bournemouth
Spurs go marching off to the sound of boos.
45 min Bournemouth sniff a second as they prey on Spurs’ back four yet again, in the centre circle this time. Bissouma brings down Evanilsen and takes a yellow card for the team.
Tavernier finished nicely, with a slide and a guide, but the real star of this show was Kerkez. Just as Spurs were threatening themselves, he picked up a loose ball in his own half, went on a storming run and came up with a peach of a cross, curling back into the path of the onrushing Tavernier. Lovely stuff.
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GOAL! Spurs 0-1 Bournemouth (Tavernier 41)
And what a goal it is.
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35 min Djed Spence barges down the left and does everything right except finding a team-mate with his cross. He must have a chance of being in Thomas Tuchel’s first England squad.
“I’ve long been an Ange supporter,” says Ron Stack, “but there comes a point when self-belief becomes intransigence. Watching Spurs try to play out from the back against the Bournemouth press has persuaded me that this point has been reached. Such a pity.”
30 min As the half-hour comes up, Spurs collect their first yellow card. It’s Bentancur, for a late tackle on Kerkez. Kluivert then does something similar and gets away with it, much to the crowd’s distaste. A moment later they’re even more irate as Johnson goes down in the box and John Brooks decides the tackle, by Kerkez, is a clean one.
26 min Every time Spurs play out from the back, you can feel the crowd holding their breath. They manage it this time, but only because Bissouma bails them out with a sprint.
24 min We break off from this game to bring you news from the other 2pm kick-off in the Prem. Cole Palmer has missed a penalty! Mats Hermansen of Leicester becomes the first PL keeper to save a Palmer pen. He can now look forward to pub-quiz immortality.
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21 min Another good cross from Porro, in a tight corner this time. Solanke gets his head to it without finding the power he needs.
18 min Up the other end, Bournemouth win a free kick on the curve of the D. As the ball bobs around afterwards, Evanilson sticks out a leg and produces a lovely flick from 15 yards out. If Vicario could have just let it through his hands, we’d have a goal to remember.
17 min Spurs’ best move so far, and it’s Romero who sparks it with a fine perpendicular pass. Porro, roaming free on the right, gets a cross in, but Bournemouth clear.
14 min Brendan Johnson comes close to getting away down the right, but Dean Huijsen deals with him very calmly. AT 19, he’s such an old head on young shoulders.
13 min Spurs get into trouble – guess what – passing out from the back, although this time Bournemouth can’t find an avenue to shoot. The main offender has been Cristian Romero, who may have some rust to scrape off.
9 min A good stat from the commentators: Bournemouth have had those three shots on target while only completing nine passes. They can just hoof the ball out for goal kicks and wait for Spurs to implode. It’s been like Fraser Forster at his finest.
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7 min As if that wasn’t enough of a mad start, we’ve also had a yellow card (Tavernier, for a trip in midfield) and a Spurs corner, from which they too had an attempt on target. Can the game please settle down?
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4 min Chance! And another one! Again, Spurs get in trouble playing out from the back. Kluivert pounces and shoots, drawing another save from Vicario, and then there’s another save as someone I can’t make out follows up with a decent header. That’s three shots on target already.
2 min That brings a corner, and then another, but Bournemouth can’t make them tell and Spurs live to fight another day.
1 min Chance! Spurs fall apart at the back and usher Evanilson through. His shot is turned round the post by Vicario.
As the teams go into their huddles, the crowd launch into When The Spurs Go Marching In. From the noise, and the sight of the stadium in the sunshine, you might mistake Spurs for a well-run club.
Another veteran writes. “Currently sitting in ED after dislocating my shoulder (not fun for 51 playing vets football),” says Mark Goodchild. “So can these updates be witty and fun please, take my mind off people coming in with rashes and sore fingers.” Ouch!
“Your exchange about xG,” says Richard Hirst, “highlights the pointlessness of the whole thing. Unless the algorithm/pointy heads feed in the difference between Ian Rush and Ronny Rosenthal or between Gordon Banks and Gary Sprake, then there can be no legitimate expectations. Bah, humbug (and yes, I am 71, and therefore by definition a boring old fart).”
You’ll find no ageism here, Richard. I’m old enough to have seen all the players you mention.
The mailbag is positively bulging. “While you’re soaking up the sun (?) at the CheeseStadion,” says Jeremy Boyce, “there is serious stuff going on down on the coast, where Pompey are currently dishing out favours to Burnley and Sheff U by besting promotion-chasing Not-So-Nasty-As-They-Used-to-Be Leeds with very little time to go... Squeaky bum time is go!” Thanks for the tip. But – at the risk of shattering the illusion – I’m not at the Tottenham Stadium, nor am I soaking up the sun. Like many a true sports lover, I spend a lot of time indoors.
In other news, Rohit Sharma is trying to win the Champions Trophy all by himself.
And another! “Spare a thought,” says Kieran McKintosh, “for Spurs’ main man on YouTube, Expressions Oozing.
“He’s going to this game in person to see who he says is his true manager for the club – Andoni Iraola.
“Interesting thought, though. If Bournemouth do manage to retain him, it’ll be quite the achievement. Where do you think he’d go?”
Good question… In a sensible world, Spurs would be vying for him with Man United. But I’m not sure we can rely on the owners of either to do the sensible thing.
One brings two. “Love your analysis,” says Joe Pearson. Something tells me there’s a but coming. “But as a math nerd (retired actuary) let me politely suggest that’s not how xG works. If you look at an xG map, say at Opta, they measure each attempt individually. Five attempts with a 0.2 xG does not suggest the team should have scored a goal. So equating a 3.5 xG to 3 or 4 goals just isn’t correct. Sorry for being a pedant, but I’m a Guardian reader, so what do you expect?”
Ha. What I expect is that “expected goals” will mean the number of goals that could reasonably have been expected.
An email! “Bissouma, Bentancur and Sarr are starting in midfield,” says Yash Gupta. “So Ange is saving Bergvall, Maddison and Son for the game against AZ Alkmaar. If Ange loses today, some might say hire a different guy for that game and those folks may have a point.”
Harsh but fair. It does look as if Ange is trying to win this game with his subs, whereas Iraola is looking to win it before they come on.
Teams in full
Spurs (probable 4-3-3) Vicario; Porro, Romero, Danso, Spence; Sarr, Bissouma, Bentancur; Johnson, Solanke, Odobert.
Subs: Kinsky, Udogie, Van de Ven, Gray, Bergvall, Maddison, Tel, Son, Scarlett.
Bournemouth (probable 4-2-3-1) Arrizabalaga; Cook, Hill, Huijsen, Kerkez; Christie, Adams; Semenyo, Kluivert, Tavernier; Evanilson.
Subs: Dennis, Soler, Akinmboni, Scott, Brooks, Ouattara, Sinisterra, Silcott-Duberry, Jebbison.
Referee John Brooks.
Teams in brief: Bournemouth
Andoni Iraola makes only minor changes to the team that lost at Brighton. Evanilson, who returned to the starting line-up in the cup last weekend, replaces Ouattara, while Marcus Tavernier comes in for David Brooks.
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Teams in brief: Spurs
Several changes for Spurs after their fruitless trip to the Netherlands. Dominic Solanke is fit to start, so Tel drops to the bench, where he’s joined by Son and Maddison. The best news for the long-suffering Spurs fan is that Cristian Romero is back from three months in the treatment room.
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Preamble
Afternoon everyone and welcome to a game that should be good to watch. Yes, it’s mid-table, but with Liverpool proving that you do sometimes walk alone and the three promoted clubs heading straight back down again, the middle is where the intrigue is.
You never know what you’re going to get from Ange Postecoglou’s Spurs – slick football or slapstick. Andoni Iraola’s Bournemouth seem far more settled and sorted, but after a fine season they have begun to falter. Their results over the past six league games are just as Spursy as Spurs’: won three, lost three.
On even more recent form, Spurs have the edge. Their three wins have all come in the four games since the beginning of February, whereas Bournemouth have three defeats in their last four. During this time, strange as it may sound, Spurs have had the joint-best defence in the Premier League: they’ve conceded only two goals in four games, the same as their old friends Arsenal. But then they did manage to lose at AZ Alkmaar on Thursday. And their home form in the league has been dismal for months, with just one win in nine, while Bournemouth tend to be stronger on the road.
When the two teams met in December, Bournemouth won 1-0, thanks to a header by Dean Huijsen. But the scoreline flattered Spurs. On expected goals, according to fbref, it should have been 3-1 or 4-1 (3.5-0.9).
Bournemouth’s blip has taken them down to ninth in the table, but the battle for the Europa League places – now, deliciously, involving Man City – is so tight that a victory today would lift them to sixth. Spurs are 13th and will stay there even if they win, as they’re five points adrift of Brentford.
This is the Dominic Solanke derby, although the man himself may not appear. He came on as a sub in Alkmaar, only to go off again after a knock that drew a vivid description from Ange: “Obviously it’s a knee going into the backside, so it’s sore.” The irony is that Solanke is one of the few Spurs players who haven’t spent the season looking as if they need a kick up the arse.
