The Wanted star Tom Parker’s widow Kelsey has opened up about her heartache over Father’s Day, adding: “It’s relentless…we miss him every single day.”
It marked the second Father’s Day since The Wanted singer Tom died aged 33, following an 18-month battle with glioblastoma, which is an aggressive brain tumour.
The mother-of-two marked the difficult event with a charity football match, which has so far raised more than £30,000 for charity.
But despite the brave reality star’s determination to make the day a positive event for the couple’s two children, Aurelia, three, and Bodhi, two, she admits: “It was tough in the morning when we woke up. The kids had made cards at nursery for Tom, which they make for their daddy, then we went and put them on his bench.
“It is just tough, and it’s just relentless – it is every day. This morning she said to me: ‘I miss my dad.’ I say, we all miss daddy too. What else do I say? It’s so hard. Of course we all miss him every single day – there’s not a day that goes by that we don’t think about Tom or talk about Tom.
“For me, celebrating father’s day, it’s for my children - it’s all for my children, so they can celebrate Tom and that he didn’t die in vain. So we can do something good from a rubbish situation.”
Despite chemotherapy and 30 radiotherapy sessions, Tom died from the incurable stage 4 cancer, with Kelsey at his side. Glioblastoma, the most lethal of all cancers for people under 40, has a typical life expectancy of three to six months.
Now, Kelsey has written a book documenting her grief process and encouraging others to open up more. “I’ve just written a book, and it’s coming out towards the end of the year,” she says.
“That’s a massive pinch me moment. I never thought I’d be in a position where I would be writing a book. I’m so excited. That’s been great therapy for me.
“It’s really an emotional book - I don’t think you’ll be able to read it and not cry. And I read it and I think, ‘oh my God, this is actually my life.’
“I think it really will help people. And just for people who are going through grief – there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
“You’ve just got to do what feels best for you.
“People deal with it completely differently. But obviously, how we dealt with Tom’s illness, we all dealt with that differently to someone else that’s got a brain tumour. We went down the positivity route and that massively helped up and it helped Tom.”
She adds that talking to friends and family helps her heal. “For me, it’s talking to people. If I’m having a bad day, I will talk about it. I talk to everyone – my mum is brilliant, and I’m lucky to have an amazing manager who is great to talk to. [There are} So many people.
“My life is never going to be the same. I’m not the same Kelsey I was three years ago and I am never going to be that person again.
“It has been really tough for me. I’ve just got to do anything that makes me happy – it’s about my happiness.
“Without a doubt, I approach life differently now. I take each day as it comes – we’re not guaranteed tomorrow.”
Kelsey attended the Italia Conti stage school but met Tom, from Bolton, at 19. She ran her own performing arts school but her main focus was supporting her boyfriend’s career.
The Wanted formed in 2009 with Tom, Max George, Siva Kaneswaran, Nathan Sykes and Jay McGuiness.
In the following five years sold 600,000 singles and 2.4 million albums in the UK, winning two Brits and an MTV Video Music Award. They had two UK number one singles – Glad You Came and All Time Low – and eight other top 10 hits including Chasing The Sun, Heart Vacancy and Lightning.
The band split in 2014.
Four years later, Tom and Kelsey married and the following year, she gave birth to Aurelia, discovering just 15 months later, she was pregnant with Bodhi. But then their world came crashing down thanks to Tom’s diagnosis.
Since he died in March last year she has poured her heart into her charity endeavours – and the football match in honour of Tom helped the family grieve on the poignant day.
“ Ryan Thomas has got two kids, but he came to my father’s day charity event,” says Kelsey, 33. “People are just incredible and so supportive.
“It was incredible. I was so overwhelmed.
“I thought there would only be 500/700 people, but we sold 2,800 tickets in the end, the celebrities have said it was the best charity football match they’ve ever played in.
“We’ve not got the final total yet, but we’ve raised over £30,000.
“That’s what it’s all about – raising funds and awareness, because brain tumours only get 1% of funding.”
Kelsey’s book With And Without You will be released in September, and documents her first year without Tom. After Tom’s death, his four bandmates paid tribute to him calling him “our brother” and saying: “Words can’t express the loss and sadness we feel.”
In 2021, Tom fronted a documentary for Channel 4 ’s Stand Up to Cancer, following his life as he had treatment.
