This is your yearly reminder that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were the best Golden Globes hosts of our time.
Whether they were ragging on George Clooney in his pre-Amal days or Leo and his modelizing, much like Degrassi, the two weren't afraid to go there.
The Saturday Night Live comedians put their friendship to the test, brilliantly called out Hollywood sexism and talked prosthetic appendages. Though their Globes gigs proved they should host literally every awards show going forward, after three turns the pair hung up their heels in 2015.
Since they're not taking back the mic this Sunday night - that's going to be the job of the excellent Sandra Oh and comedian Andy Samberg - let's indulge once again in their best material.
NB: The only one who probably doesn't miss their hosting spot? Taylor Swift, who told Vanity Fair there's a "special place in hell" for women who don't support each other when the two made a dig about her list of ex-lovers.
Hearing Swift was upset about the joke, Poehler told The Hollywood Reporter, "I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff."
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's Golden Globes jokes
Tina: "Gravity is nominated for Best Film. It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."
Tina (a few years later): “George Clooney married Amal Almuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight … her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.”
Tina (introducing Leonardo DiCaprio to the stage): "And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."
Amy: "Now, a number of big movies used prosthetic genitals this year. Blue Is the Warmest Color, The Wolf of Wall Street, Saving Mr. Banks. Yes, a lot of people don't know Tom Hanks was wearing one the entire time. He's wearing one right now actually, he's really enjoying it. He's so happy about it!"
Tina: "The Hunger Games ... is what I call the six weeks it took me to get into this dress."
Amy: "Ang Lee has been nominated for the Life of Pi, which is what I'm gonna call the six weeks after I take this dress off."
Tina to Anne Hathaway about her performance in Les Miserables: "I haven't seen you so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars."
Amy: "Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College."
Tina: "Matthew McConaughey did amazing work this year. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds. Or what actresses call... being in a movie."
Amy: "The Wolf of Wall Street is another nominee tonight. I really loved the film, but some of it was too graphic. I mean, if I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties."
Tina: "Jonah Hill actually used a prosthetic penis in The Wolf of Wall Street. So you have that to look forward to next time you eat at Planet Hollywood."
Tina: “One of my favorite films this year is the movie Her, which takes place in the not-so-distant future, which is perfect because so does Joaquin Phoenix.”
Amy: "Before earning a Golden Globe nomination for his first ever acting role in Captain Phillips, Barkhad Abdi was working as a limousine driver in Minnesota. There's such a beautiful life lesson here, everyone: Sleep with your limo driver tonight. Before he gets famous."
Tina: "Meryl Streep is so brilliant in August: Osage County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streeps over 60."
Amy: “Jennifer Aniston is here tonight, nominated for the film Cake. We should explain for the Hollywood people in the room: Cake is like a fluffy desert that people eat on their birthdays ... And birthdays are thing people celebrate when they admit that they’ve aged”.
Come back Tina and Amy!
