Beauty might be in the eye of the beholder, but being a brainy bombshell? That’s a whole different ball game. For many women, this combo can turn the dating scene into a wild rollercoaster. Imagine being constantly asked by people why you’re single, as they just assume you must be swatting away suitors like pesky flies, when the reality is that men are more likely to run for the hills than ask you out.
Welcome to the wonderfully weird world where being too fabulous is actually a problem.
More info: TikTok
TikTok star reveals in her recent video why she thinks she’s still single, despite having the looks and the brains
“Men don’t like me. Men are very, very terrified of me”: The TikToker thinks that her beauty, intelligence and success are intimidating for men
Meet Ashley, aka @ashbabank, a TikToker who recently dropped a bombshell about her love life or, more accurately, the lack thereof. Ashley is a fashion stylist and a certified stunner, as she likes to call herself. But despite her looks and sharp mind, she’s still “very single.” Why? According to her, men are just plain terrified of her. Yep, you heard it right.
In her recent TikTok video, Ashley spills the tea on her dating struggles. People are often surprised when they find out she’s not taken. She hasn’t had a romantic interest in a long time, months, really, and she’s left wondering why her beauty and brains seem to scare men off. “Men don’t like me. Men are very, very terrified of me,” says Ashley, hinting that her success and good looks might be to blame.
“I am merely just a fantasy. I am not a real human”: The TikToker thinks she is still single because she is only attracting unavailable men
This issue seems to have become more common, since societal norms and expectations create more obstacles for confident, successful women in the dating scene. According to an article on the topic, “for most men, strength and independence are actually attractive qualities. What is repelling and unattractive to men is when a woman engages with them with strong masculine energy.” In some cases, confidence can be mistaken for arrogance, and independence can be seen as a lack of need for a partner, which would explain why some men may feel insecure or threatened by women who challenge them.
Ashley’s blunt declaration sparked a flood of responses, with many TikTok users chiming in with their own experiences and Ashley’s fans didn’t hold back in the comments. Many people, especially women, resonate with Ashley’s situation. They feel that their looks and ambition can sometimes be more of an obstacle than a help in the romance department. One commenter noted, “Been told I’m intimidating my whole life. Men don’t even approach me cause they think I have too many options.” Another shared “They idealize you, then at the end resent and hate you for everything they loved and adored about you at the beginning, because you bring out all their insecurities. Still single, but happy.”
Watch the full video here
@ashbabanklonely life when you know your worth😮💨♬ original sound – A$H
According to a study published online in the APA Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men tend to feel worse about themselves when recalling situations where their female partner succeeded and they did not. This doesn’t mean all men feel this way, but it does highlight a common issue in modern dating dynamics.
The ambition of women in pursuing big careers on the same level as men can often create friction for the more insecure of men. The researchers showed that men’s self-esteem was affected regardless of whether their female partner’s achievements were social or intellectual. Men subconsciously felt worse about themselves when their partner succeeded rather than failed.
It seems like this single lady is happy with her single status for now, focusing on knowing her worth and living her best life. Her video’s caption sums it up perfectly: “Lonely life when you know your worth.” And honestly, who can argue with that? It’s better to be single and thriving than settling for someone who can’t handle your sparkle.
What’s your take on this story? Share your little nuggets of dating wisdom in the comment section.
Women in the comments relate to the TikToker’s video, saying that confidence and ambition can be major romantic obstacles
