Thousands of Australian men are in private Facebook groups that are “cesspits” of racism, misogyny, doxing, slut-shaming and fat-shaming.
Some of them appear to be set up in response to women’s groups that are dedicated to exposing cheaters. Those sites, hundreds of which have sprung up around the world and in many parts of Australia, also “out” men for violence and abuse.
While the women’s groups tend to operate to support and warn other women, the posts that Guardian Australia has seen in men’s groups are predominantly derogatory.
They refer to women as “it”, “that thing”, “hoe bag”, “blimps”, “bush pigs” and regularly suggest someone is a “ladyboy”.
While the women’s sites ask if people have any “tea” or gossip about a man they are considering dating, the men’s sites ask things like “how many of us are smashing this one?”. Women are “push bikes”, “root and boots”, and “have been passed around”.
While the women’s sites usually post pictures from dating apps once they’ve matched with someone, the men’s posts use pictures from Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and other platforms. Some are celebrities, or obviously meant to be gags.
There is often enough information to identify the person.
Many of the comments are too foul to print. Men have also posted that they have infiltrated the women’s sites, have previously got them shut down, and have shared information from the women’s sites back to the men’s.
The cyber safety expert Susan McLean said unless a woman found out she featured in a group, there was nothing she could do except be mindful of what photos and information she put online and who could access those.
She said all people need to report bad behaviour – to the police if it is criminal, and to the eSafety commissioner for abuse and bullying.
“They do descend into a cesspit of nasty comments and misogynistic comments and all of that,” McLean said.
“We have to encourage the reporting of anything online that is disrespectful, illegal, doxing … we should all be reporting as we go along to make the internet a better place.
“If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it online.”
Carla Wilshire, chief executive officer of the Social Policy Group and director of the Centre for Digital Wellbeing, describes such pages as “dark forests”.
“A dark forest is any area of the internet where it’s not normally accessible unless you’re a member,” she said.
“Facebook would be aware of these groups, and they can technically be shut down.”
Guardian Australia contacted Meta to ask what it does about such groups, which appear to breach its code of conduct. A spokesperson said their community standards apply to Facebook groups, which include rules on privacy violations, bullying and harassment.
The spokesperson did not respond to a specific question about whether it can proactively do anything about private groups, but said people could report content that violated their policies.
Some of the men’s cheating exposure sites have more than 10,000 members.
Wilshire said there is an ongoing argument about how big a group could be before it’s considered a publication.
“There’s a question around certain thresholds – how much should be considered publishing versus a group chat,” she said.
“We often think of platforms as open public spaces or as transparent, but many online conversations are in closed groups and a significant amount of content is shared in members-only forums.”
Like McLean, Wilshire highlighted the difficulty in protecting yourself from having an image misused.
“The second you have a digital presence, to some degree, the way the current system works, you’re trading off your privacy,” she said.
“You’re trading off your privacy for access to a social life, which isn’t a fair ask.”
• In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and MensLine on 1300 789 978
