Bored Panda
Instagram TikTok Website Linktree
#1
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
Anneliese told Bored Panda that she created her Instagram account, @sh**tymommymoments, back when she was pregnant with her second child and her oldest was three years old. “I didn’t have a group of mom friends and felt like being a mom was extremely lonely and frustrating, which was the opposite of what I saw others seem to be experiencing on social media,” she told us via Instagram.
"There was one other account, @momsbehavingbadly, that I resonated with. So, I thought maybe I could create an account that is relatable to people like me? Maybe I’ll make some friends. Or at least have it be an outlet for venting," she opened up about the history of her super popular social media project.
#2
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#3
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
We were curious to get Anneliese's thoughts on the added pressure of raising kids 'perfectly.' "Parents, and moms especially, feel a lot more pressure lately because we are INUNDATED with advice on how to be better and how to not 'continue the cycle,'" she said.
“While these are helpful, they can have a negative impact when all we see is all the ways we’re probably messing our children up because we said something like, ‘If you don’t come on, we’re leaving the park without you!’” the mom pointed out that the expectations set on social media are unrealistic and impractical.
#4
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#5
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#6
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
According to Anneliese, new parents who feel overwhelmed by everything should not try to cherish every moment. From her perspective, a lot of these moments are bad.
"Create one time each day that is cherishable, even if it’s just the time you snuggle up and watch a movie. Cherish that hour or 20 minutes, and it’ll help you get through the harder ones. And it’ll be the time your kids remember most, too."
There are over 5 billion people on social media, according to Statista. With so many people spending a large chunk of their time online, it only makes sense that they’re at least partly influenced by the posts and videos they see.
When we’re constantly bombarded with images and clips of someone’s idyllic family life, it can feel like we’re failing as parents if our experiences don’t match theirs. We want to fit in. We want to be respected. We want to avoid being seen as failures. That’s why some people try to follow in these influencers’ footsteps without considering whether these parenting trends even benefit them.
#7
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#8
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#9
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
But the reality is that the vast majority of parents are anything but failures. If you’re doing the best that you can to take care of your kids, you’re already a winner. If your children are fed, clothed, loved, and have a roof over their heads, you’ve got the basics down! Anything else that you do is a bonus.
In short, you should not feel like parenting is a competition. You do not have to sign your toddler up to four different preschool extracurriculars to be a good parent.
Similarly, it’s okay if your teenager doesn’t get into high-flying internships to prepare them for college admissions. And you’re allowed to heat up a frozen dish from time to time: crafting three gourmet, extremely nutritious meals every single day is exhausting.
Aiming only for affluence and trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses’ (or probably the Kardashians these days) is all about ego, not good parenting.
#10
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#11
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#12
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
What your kids actually want and need is for you to spend quality time with them. Hide your smartphone, step away from all of your responsibilities, and focus on your children.
Play some games. Build some stuff out of Lego. Read some books. Talk about how cool science is. Go feed your local ducks in the park. Kick or throw a ball around. Or both! Go make some new friends or visit your relatives. Teach your kids some cool skills or show them the hobbies you care about.
#13
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#14
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#15
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
There are countless ways to connect with your munchkins, but all of them require you to be present. No distractions! At the end of the day, what your kids are going to remember is having fun with their family.
Think back to your own childhood. The odds are that what pops into your head are the moments when you connected with your family doing something fun. The specific activity isn’t as important as the fact that it’s done together.
#16
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#17
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#18
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
Anneliese King writes on her website that she first created her Instagram account as a way to normalize “the imperfect moments of motherhood.” These days are filled with bad moments, but this doesn’t make someone a bad parent. Her social media project is all about “supporting moms through laughter and real talk, and putting a stop to the notion that your house, your hair, or your mental health should appear perfectly intact at all times in order to be a good mom to your kids.”
The digital creator has a massive presence on social media. She has a jaw-dropping 409k followers on Instagram, as well as 15.5k fans on TikTok.
#19
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#20
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#21
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
Though everyone’s parenting journey is bound to be unique and there are no universal answers for how to raise kids well, some approaches are healthier than others.
Authoritative parenting, one of four main parenting styles, is the most balanced of the bunch. It focuses on creating a balance between firm boundaries and unconditional love, which creates an environment where kids most often thrive.
Authoritative parents do their best to communicate very clearly, openly, and with calm assertiveness. They establish guidelines, so their kids always know what acceptable behavior looks like and what’s inappropriate. On top of that, these parents also support their children unconditionally and celebrate their individuality. It’s a blend of structure, transparency, and good old-fashioned support. Their kids, in turn, grow to be more resilient, develop better self-esteem, and have better all-around emotional well-being.
#22
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#23
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#24
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
The other 3 main parenting styles are slightly problematic. For example, authoritarian parents have lots of rules and restrictions for their kids, but they hardly ever communicate why they should be followed. They expect their children to fall in line no matter what, and they don’t take their feelings into account.
#25
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#26
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#27
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
On the flip side, permissive parents tend to see their little munchkins as their friends. So much so that they rarely enforce any rules at home. It’s all support without structure or parental involvement.
This doesn’t do the kids much good because when they grow up, they tend to have problems with self-esteem and struggle dealing with authority figures.
Meanwhile, uninvolved parenting happens when the caregivers are completely detached from what their children do. They spend barely any time with them, effectively leaving them to raise themselves.
#28
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#29
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
#30
Image credits: sh**tymommymoments
What’s your parenting philosophy like, dear Pandas? What do you think can help parents avoid the ‘perfection’ trap that many online influencers set? How can we all develop a more relaxed approach to raising kids? Share your thoughts in the comments.
