Ella, 75
Richard was interested in having a sex life, so I decided to try it – and it turned out to be really amazing
I met Richard when I was 60, and I was just looking for friendship. My first two marriages had not been satisfying at all – I found out both of my husbands had cheated on me, which had a big impact on my relationship with sex. I’d never even had good sex as they’d only wanted to satisfy themselves and didn’t think about me.
But Richard was interested in having a sex life, so I decided to try it – and it turned out to be amazing.
Before we lived together I was going over to his house three nights a week and we’d have sex at least three times. It was very exciting, but after a few months I started developing urinary tract infections (UTIs). They were happening so frequently we noticed the pattern and realised it was the sex.
We tried all kinds of condoms, went to numerous doctors, but nothing seemed to stop them. I started taking antibiotics, which would relieve it for a little bit, but I knew it would come once we started having sex again. The UTIs burned, and it was so frustrating constantly having to go to the toilet.
It was discouraging. It got to the point where we thought we would have to stop having penetrative sex. I’d found sexual fulfilment after so many years, and I was afraid of losing it, knowing how much we’d both miss having sex. But I was about to give up, accepting that the sexual part of my life was over.
One day, Richard thought of trying out povidone-iodine, an antiseptic used for skin disinfection. He had been a surgeon before he retired, so thought that this iodine, which he used in surgery, could reduce bacteria in the vagina. So now, before we have sex, he paints it all over me and on his penis, lathers it over my vulva and inside my vagina with his fingers. We wait a couple of minutes, then we have sex normally, and it has drastically reduced the UTIs.
It really is a huge relief. We can continue having wonderful sex. We’re still as excited about each other as we were 15 years ago.
Callout
Richard, 82
We were getting to the point of desperation. I was so afraid for her
When we met, Ella hadn’t been sexually active for years, so we had discussions about whether sex at our advanced age would be difficult because of lubrication issues or embarrassment of our bodies. We came to the conclusion that the only way to find out was just to be open and try it. And it was amazing.
We were having intercourse about three times a week, but then Ella started developing these urinary tract infections (UTIs) a few months into our relationship. We tried all the different methods we could, and she ended up going for multiple urine samples and ultrasound exams of the urinary tract. We were getting to the point of desperation. I was so afraid for her – being a doctor, I knew that UTIs could become serious.
We had discussions about whether we were going to have to stop having sex, or just do mutual masturbation. But we both really wanted to continue to have a normal, healthy sex life, and so we decided that, rather than giving up on sex, we’d reduce the number of times we were together. I was also convinced that, no matter what happened, we were going to continue to have a happy life together.
For two or three years we tried all these different ideas that didn’t seem to work. Then one day I thought about how in the operating room we’d paint the skin with an iodine solution and wait a few minutes to kill the bacteria before making an incision. I thought we could reduce the number of bacteria in the vagina and around the opening to the urethra by using povidone-iodine.
We began incorporating the iodine into our foreplay. We’ve been doing this for about nine years now, and it seems to have controlled the UTIs. We’re so happy that this seems to have worked.
• Footnote added 26 November 2024: Please seek medical advice before treating urinary tract infections and follow product guidance.
Would you and your partner like to share the story, anonymously, of your sex life?
