Jane Grace (stage name Metal Mum), thinks people wanting to call the suicide hotline in the middle of the night should just dial Centrelink instead.
"If I start calling in the middle of the night when I'm upset, I'll be first in the queue 8 o'clock on Monday to Friday," she jokes.
"People that are suicidal should start clogging up the normal business lines so that other people could have the experience of what it's like to wait on hold [to the suicide hotline]."
A dark sense of humour, creativity and her beloved rescue dogs are part of Jane's process to healing from complex post-traumatic stress.
She is also on an advisory board for Blue Knot, a charity that raises awareness about complex trauma.
Complex trauma has profound, lifelong impacts on people, Blue Knot president Dr Cathy Kezelman said.
It is often repeated, ongoing, extreme and often interpersonal.
"The trauma is perpetrated by one human being or multiple human beings on another," Dr Kezelman said.
"The fact that it's relational trauma and particularly when it occurs in childhood, it can affect a child's ability to attach and to bond ... right through their lives.
"We're talking about the repeated betrayal, repeated ongoing violation by the very person or people who ideally should be there to protect and nurture you."
As a child Jane's mother died, and she experienced abuse and neglect.
"Police were involved and social workers and it was all drama. And I had to be independent very young and basically I just chose studying as my way out of everything," she said.
As an adult, she remains hyper-vigilant, has extreme emotional reactions and nightmares.
"Having PTSD, you're working hard. Your emotions are working hard, your brain's working hard," Jane said.
People struggling with complex trauma are often misunderstood, Dr Kezelman said.
"It can impact the person's very core sense of themselves, their self-confidence, their ability to relate to others and the world, the mental and physical capacity to complete an education [or] hold down a job," she said.
Sufferers can recover from complex trauma, but it can take a long time and every person's journey is unique, Dr Kezelman said.
After decades of incorrect diagnosis, Jane has recently started dialectical behaviour therapy, which helps people regulate emotions and improve their relationships.
"We have to do daily cards, analysing our emotions, and working out how we could have problem solved differently. It's really hard work. It's not just cruising in, it's like really analysing yourself," she said.
"This is probably the first diagnosis where the treatments actually helped.
"To me, it just seems like normal life. It's not until you go through a very positive therapy that you can make sense of it."
The therapy does not just start or end in a counsellor's office.
Alongside spoiling her bulldog and pug, being in a writing group and volunteering, Jane also performs comedy at local venues such as Verity Lane and the Basement.
"If you can actually make people laugh that feels really good," she said.
"I love having this crazy, dark character that's kind of black humor and it's just fun. It is really fun [and] the creativity is really good."
- Blue Knot 1300 657 380
- Lifeline 13 11 14
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Bravehearts 1800 272 831
