No one likes being played with, especially when it comes to mind games. That’s why no person would arguably be too happy to be in this redditor’s shoes, whose girlfriend decided to put him to a test.
When things seemed to be going well between the two and the couple was even planning on moving in together, the woman decided to break up with the guy, to see if he would fight for her. But her test didn’t seem to bring the outcome she expected. Scroll down to find the full story below.
Testing your partner using mind games is never a good idea
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This netizen’s girlfriend put him to a test and even called him a jerk after it led to some unexpected consequences
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
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Secret relationship tests can negatively affect both one’s mental health and their relationship
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You might not be a fan of such relationship tests yourself, but chances are you know at least one person who would be determined to not message their partner first to see how long it takes for them to get in touch; or who would go as far as to ask their friend to try and see if they can mess with their significant other’s head. If hearing about such examples alone makes you want to frown, that’s because you are probably in a secure relationship yourself or you simply don’t need to use trickery to solve certain relationship issues.
Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case with the OP’s girlfriend. Seeking to learn if the redditor was serious about their relationship, she arguably chose the worst possible way to do it, as her putting her loved one to the test resulted in them going their separate ways instead of moving in together.
According to Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, a relationship scientist whose research focuses on communication in romantic relationships, secret tests can do more harm than good. In an episode of the Relationship Doctor—a podcast she hosts—Dr. Vanderbilt suggested that all sorts of secret tests can have detrimental effects on both your mental health, as well as your relationship.
“They can make you ruminate about your problems, make up scenarios in which your partner fails, and then stress about whether your partner is going to live up to your expectations. Secret tests are often a sign of a deteriorating relationship, one where trust isn’t present, or the self-esteem of the partner creating the test is low,” she told the listeners of the podcast.
All sorts of relationships tests have seemingly been trending online lately
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Nowadays, relationship tests of all sorts are seemingly getting more and more popular. From individuals asking their significant others to peel their oranges to the so-called ‘bird tests’, people find all sorts of ways to see where the heart of their romantic interest is at. The reason for the increase in popularity? You guessed it, the internet.
But while some netizens believe that the tests that have been trending online can make or break their relationship, experts suggest that they are often done for all the wrong reasons. According to a clinical psychologist and MVS Psychology Group director, Max Von Sabler, many people opt for taking such measures seeking validation from online communities.
“I would consider that there may be an underlying insecurity for some and a desire for external validation – and that this actually showcases the significant impact that social media can have on personal relationships,” the expert told Yahoo.
Von Sabler continued to point out that such tests could be classified as basic association tasks, which means that they can have wildly varying results, and unless you’re a psychoanalyst trained in interpreting the unconscious mind, it might be best not to make any significant choices based on them.
When the OP’s girlfriend put him to the test, it was no longer her who was making the choice regarding the future of their relationship. The redditor said that he didn’t appreciate mind games, so instead of fighting for her, he boxed up all her belongings and did exactly what the test suggested that they do – break up.
The OP said his girlfriend apologized for her actions
Quite a few netizens sided with the OP, they didn’t think he was in the wrong for handling the situation the way that he did
Some redditors believed everyone was a jerk in the situation
