Dries van Noten blazer, £1,075 (eu.driesvannoten.com). Lemaire shirt, POA (uk.lemaire.fr). Henry Dangerfield trousers, POA (studio@thedangerfields.co.uk). Margaret Howell tie, £165 (margaret howell.co.uk)
(Picture: MARCIN KEMPSKI)‘Imagine The xx as the Spice Girls,’ exclaims Oliver Sim, so unexpectedly that I unconsciously pat my chest for signs of whiplash.
‘They each had a character and you knew what they brought to the band.’
Sim is explaining his decision to release solo music after 17 years with The xx, who count Beyoncé, Björk and Madonna among their fans. ‘After [bandmate] Jamie’s record, he came back with his own identity, and it was clear what his input was. I want to do the same. I’ve been asking myself: if I’m not just one third of the band, who am I? What do
I have to offer? What would Oliver’s Spice nickname be? Right now…’ he ponders momentarily before breaking into a trademark grin. ‘Faggy Spice.’
Known for their brooding melodies and austere stylings, think of The xx and you’re unlikely to recall the Spice Girls oeuvre (while both groups’ debuts were nominated for the Mercury Music Prize, only The xx actually won it). Then again, early indications suggest that Sim’s solo career will be a marked departure from his band. While they have become a byword for restraint and cool understatement, Sim’s first two solo videos have a maximalist bent, incorporating drag queens, a costume reveal and even — pass the smelling salts — a dance routine. ‘In the band we were always trying to be harmonious,’ reasons Sim. ‘You can’t be the person vogueing in the corner while the other two look like deer in the headlights.’
Written as a clarion call for self-acceptance, the video for ‘Fruit’ sees Sim perform on a television chat show, watched by his childhood self. As he slinks across the stage, an oversized suit is shed to reveal a skintight sequin top. ‘I feel like a lot of artists play with androgyny and gender f*** just for the sake of being avant garde,’ he says. ‘But I wanted the video to have as much story and thought as possible.’
Do the lyrics (You can dress it away/ talk it away/ dull down the flame/ but it’s all pretend) refer to his own attempts to suppress his femininity? ‘100 per cent. Sometimes I watch old xx shows and realise that my stage voice is so far away from my real voice. It’s three octaves lower and any sibilance is thinned out. I didn’t think I had shame around my sexuality, but then I started to notice micro things, like how my voice goes down when I step into a cab. The message that sends to myself doesn’t feel good. It feels really bad! I’m deep in therapy at the moment, and have become a great believer that the best antidote to fear and shame is sharing it, so I’m shedding some light on it.’
The xx occupy a peculiar space in the queer canon. While the band — comprising Sim and school friends Jamie Smith [usually known as Jamie xx] and Romy Madley Croft — are two thirds gay, ‘Fruit’ is the first song in which Sim uses a male pronoun. ‘Me and Romy had an understanding that we would be as general as possible to make the music as universal as we could,’ he says. ‘We wanted to avoid pronouns so that listeners could imprint on it whatever they wanted. I stand behind us saying that at the time, but I also think it was the result of huge insecurity on my side.’
It was an insecurity with deep roots, fuelled by the fact that Sim had been outed in the first sentence of the first interview ever given by the band. ‘I was really furious,’ he says. ‘We were teenagers, we’d only been out to our families for two or three years, and it was given as the defining factor of who we were.’ Keen not to be pigeonholed, he over-corrected. Once asked by The New Gay TV whether he had a message for his gay fans, he appeared briefly flummoxed before answering: ‘Hot Chip are amazing.’
Amid Florida’s Don’t Say Gay bill and the UK government’s flip-flopping over the banning of conversion therapy, I wonder whether he feels an increased responsibility to represent the LGBTQ+ community. ‘As a little boy, I would scour late-night TV for any queer moment I could find,’ he says. ‘I’d watch Eurotrash and Queer as Folk in the living room with my hand against the door in case anyone came in. Someone like Lil Nas X would’ve meant so much to me, I’d have eaten him up. If I can be that person for somebody else then I would love that.’
Raised in a Fulham council flat by his mum (a social worker) and father (a charity administrator), Sim first met Madley Croft while still at nursery school. Both were musical, but painfully shy, and initially exchanged song lyrics over email. This reticence continued once they were signed to XL aged 17, alongside fellow schoolmates Jamie Smith and Baria Qureshi, who left the band after their first album. Early shows were performed with their backs to the audience, with a Pitchfork review of their 2009 showcase at New York’s CMJ noting that ‘their live presence is not exactly dynamic’.
Today, Sim bounds into the studio wearing a camel Lemaire coat and pullover, before lounging on a leather sofa, his posture as languid as his drawling vocal delivery on record. At times he’s animated, adopting a roster of comic voices and gesticulating with his hands. At others, he appears to retreat into himself, fixing his stare on the mid-distance as he chooses his words carefully. He still suffers from social anxiety. ‘I am a very fearful person,’ he tells me. ‘I’m screaming inside most of the time.’ Recalling his most embarrassing moment, he describes an early xx show in Italy. ‘We used to have a really dramatic entrance where this huge curtain would drop. But one time it only dropped two notches, so it only displayed me. I was stood on stage on my own.’ He widens his eyes as if the horror of this scenario should be self-evident.
I’m curious how Sim’s shyness plays out among his multitudinous A-list fans. In 2014 The xx played a series of 40-person shows at New York’s Park Avenue Armory which were attended by Jay Z, Beyoncé, Björk, Wes Anderson and Madonna, who stood directly in Sim’s eyeline while he sang. ‘Madonna was intimidating,’ he admits. ‘I’d have been disappointed if she wasn’t.’ How does he cope during such interactions? ‘I don’t,’ he laughs. ‘I had to have a sit-down dinner with Beyoncé, at Bistrotheque in Bethnal Green for Solange’s birthday. She was very nice and very normal.
I wish I could say the same about myself. I was non-verbal. I’m interested in being around fame, I want to enjoy the show. But there’s a part of me that can’t handle it.’
In previous times, Sim relied on alcohol as a social lubricant, but he became sober in 2016 after being confronted by his bandmates about his drinking. ‘I did the 12 steps fellowship, which has really helped and saved me so many times,’ he says. ‘It’s nice waking up and not having dread. My relationships are exponentially better. I’m not having to constantly apologise, I’m able to be present, I’m able to remember things.’
He describes himself as ‘very f***ing single’ and admits that sober dating can be a challenge. ‘At the beginning of lockdown I watched Normal People three times and it f***ed me up. I messaged every ex in my phone saying, “Hi. Do you miss me?” Then I did something which I said I’d never do, and joined [exclusive dating and social app] Raya, because it’s had a lot of success for my friends. It didn’t go so well for me. You have to be able to speak in a certain way, and self-promote, which I was a bit crap at.’
Sim is far more comfortable surrounded by old friends, including designer Kim Jones. ‘I’ve known him since I was a teenager, when we met in [the nightclub] Heaven,’ Sim says. ‘He’s helped us out a lot, and designed our outfits for Glastonbury. Going to his house is like going to a museum. He has a real appreciation of high and low culture, so you’ll go round and he’ll have Sylvia Plath’s mug but also [Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star] Camille Grammer’s napkin.’ Sim’s love of fashion extends to today’s shoot, which has been coordinated via his stylist and three creative directors. ‘All of my favourite artists are aware of fashion, art, film and create a world,’ he says. ‘If I’m nervous it’s so useful to have a beautiful piece of clothing to feel in character.’
Singer, clothes horse, aspiring Spice Girl. Where does Sim see his future? ‘The band are still my priority,’ he insists. ‘If you compare it to the Marvel cinematic universe, The xx are the Avengers and we each feature in each other’s films.’ His new music is produced by Jamie xx simply, he says, because he’s his favourite producer. Will Madley Croft be making any guest appearances? ‘I love Romy, I support her in everything she does, she is my sister. But I feel deeply competitive. I have to win!’ he laughs. ‘She knows me so well that she can give me such on point feedback. Because she’s removed from this project she doesn’t have the emotional baggage, so she can tell me which bits are boring and need to be thrown out.’
Next up, he will play a series of solo dates in London, Berlin, Paris, New York and Los Angeles. It’ll be the first time he’s found himself alone on a stage since that disastrous curtain mishap in Italy. Scared, sure. But determined to find his voice.
