Thank you and a treacherous goodnight
Well, wow, what a final. Anyone who feared the tension would be sucked out of it by the format tweaks was proven wrong, I think. It had a different mood and pace to previous years, sure, but still made for riveting human drama. The producers might just want to move the Seer twist to earlier in the series next time around. Otherwise we might vote to banish again.
That concludes tonight’s liveblog but please feel free to continue the conclave conversation in the comments section. I’ll keep an eye on it and chip in, now that I’m not tap-tapping at my keyboard quite so frantically. I might loosen my red fingerless gloves, too. They’re cutting off the circulation.
In the meantime, I’m @michaelhogan on the platform formerly known as Twitter and @michaelhogan100 on Bluesky/Threads, so please feel free to say hi and give me a follow. Thanks for watching along with me and your excellent company, castle compadres.
Sleep well, stay faithful and I hope you don’t find a scrolled, wax-sealed death order on your pillow. Goodnight!
Start practising your poker face and Freddie-style fibs
Think you could do better than that lot? I’m glad you said yes. You can currently apply to take part in series four by filling out an online form here Applications close on 9 February so don’t shilly-shally too long.How do I know this? Minah told me. Even though she’d already left the building.
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Claudia ruled the castle once more
Let’s also give a huge, Highland chic, fingerless glove-clad round of applause for Lady Winkleman Of The Manor, who has made for the perfect puppet-mistress once again.
The Yeti coat and the masked gimps. The asides to camera (“He’s single”, “Fast, like a pony”, “Put me down, boys”). Telling off the Faithful when they banished one of their own yet again. All fringe, funnies and fabulousness, she really is the best in the business. Glovely-jubbly.
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Series verdict: far more hit than miss
Well, what did we think of the third round of The Traitors? As wondrous as ever, I thought. Once again, the best reality show on the box has made January a lot more bearable. There was more drama than an EastEnders omnibus. More twists than a Highland helter-skelter. More herd mentality than Thora, Douglas and Amber standing in a field of cows (that probably works better said aloud).
After a shaky, shouty start, the missions became less Go Ape and more darkly funny (clowns! dolls! giant chess pieces!). Producers kept both players and viewers on their toes with format tweaks. I’m not sure they all worked – did the no-reveal rule-change in the final or especially the Seer’s introduction add anything or just take tension away? – but it was still highly unpredictable and enormously entertaining.
Perhaps there were too many forgettable, inept Faithfuls this time around but it was a series of memes, moments and magnificent melodrama. Linda the over-acting opera singer followed in Diane’s footsteps as a mature cult heroine. The Round Tables were once again riveting and infuriating in equal measure.
Did it miss a killer villain like Amanda, Wilf, Paul or Harry? Or did Minah and Charlotte fulfil the job description? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Personally, I’ll miss the camp escapism and sense of nation-uniting communal fun. The Traitors has become the New Year equivalent of pre-Christmas Strictly and I’m totally here for it.
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Treacherous Charlotte was tripped up by the twist
The fake Welsh accent to appear more trustworthy. The “who, me?’ innocent act, fluttering eyelashes and heartstring-tugging tears. The sheer ruthlessness when it came to backstabbing her co-conspirators. The 32-year-old business director from Hampshire might have been a surprisingly accomplished Traitor but Charlotte Berman never quite recovered from last night’s devastating blow.
She’d smartly stayed undetected since being recruited to the dark side midway through the series. Unluckily for her, a whopping spanner was thrown into the works by the Seer twist. When Frankie opted to use her new-found power on her friend, Charlotte’s goose (or perhaps her peacock) was cooked.
She put up a decent fight, turning the tables back on Frankie and claiming a conspiracy with Alexander. Yet it was too little, too late for the fraudulently Welsh wonder. The Feathers McGraw of Traitors had been an evil genius for four episodes but the fifth proved her undoing.
We might have had our second winning Traitor on the trot – and the first ever recruited Traitor to triumph – but ultimately Charlotte was outnumbered and outgunned. Ah well. At least she can put down the “Learn Welsh” book and return to her real accent now. Even if it is almost indistinguishable from the fake one.
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Relax. Frankie didn't go to Hollywood
It was textbook Frankie. Classic Frankie. The most Frankie of all the Frankie things to happen. After being appointed the show’s first ever Seer, the interior designer from East Sussex decided to double-check that her friend Charlotte was a Faithful. Instead she accidentally stumbled across the last Traitor standing. It took her 12 episodes but Francesca Rowan-Plowden found one at last.
She managed to convince her fellow Faithful of Charlotte’s treachery and ensured she was banished first. However, Frankie could have handled it better. After they accused each other, Leanne and Jake ended up banishing both to them, just to be certain. Being in such close cahoots with Alexander didn;’t help Frankie’s cause either. She eventually voted against him but the damage was done and doubts were sown.
For a while back there, it looked like she had it in the bag. But if anyone could fail to see clearly through her fog of tears and drop the ball at the crucial moment, it was Frankie. Third place is a podium finish but doesn’t come with any prize money.And if you’re still wondering who she reminds you of, it might well be Plain Jane Superbrain from Neighbours, Jenna from Blake’s Seven, Raquel from Corrie, Julia Davis, a blonde Paula Wilcox or a young Amanda Barrie. Happy to help.
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Alexander made a diplomatic departure
After arriving late and, let’s face it, being a bit of a Sloaney pony in a puffy gilet, former British diplomat Alexander Dragonetti became this year’s surprise cult hero. He sacrificed himself on the steam train and during several missions. He gallantly gave his gold coins to Frankie. He sang nursery rhymes backwards with gusto, fell into a hedge while playing badminton and exclaimed either “Shit, shit, shit!” or “Go, group!” at banishments, depending on the outcome.
He also won our hearts with his poignant dinner party speech about his late younger brother, who was born with special needs, and Alexander’s desire to give the prize money to a Mencap charity in his memory. Nice guys don’t win, though. Not in this game.
He had suspicion swirling around him for a fortnight – mainly for the crimes of being male, a late-comer and surviving the death match. He trusted Frankie too much (just me or was there vibe?), throwing in his lot with her and looking dodgy in the process. This was one conflict that the smooth-talking conflict resolution expert couldn’t resolve. Alexander finished in fourth place. Not bad for one of the “train people” but not worth a celebratory hedge-jump either.
HaveYouPlantedTrees says: “I knew the Seer idea or similar would be the twist. I’ve played Avalon which is a similar idea and it’s a common theme there. Makes the game very interesting but becomes next level brutality. A difficult twist to spring when there’s so much money at stake.”
Rampire says: “The Seer twist just ended up making the final episode a bit nasty. Such a shame as the series and game work so well and part of the appeal is that, despite being ‘reality’ TV, the contestants are always nice human beings. This group though were working on nothing but vibes. None of them stopped to count up how many traitors they’d gotten rid of already and work out there couldn’t be any more.”
acanthe adds: “I don’t think I could love Claudia Winkleman any more than I already do but then she comes on Uncloaked to do an interview and I love her even more.”
kam1nsk1 says: “I think this change in the format is a huge mistake. The fun is seeing people lying and spinning covertly, and all the passive aggression. Just out-and-out lying in this overt way is not as interesting. It’s Made in Chelsea.”
Anselad says: “Big mistake from the Traitors producers with their last surprise. Ruined it for Charlotte and Frankie. It might have worked earlier in the game. It definitely didn’t work at the latest stages of the show.”
Whistledownthewind says: “My series highlight has been Linda. She’s created so many memes, quotes and moments this series despite/because of being the most awful Traitor there’s ever been.”
bigredroo adds: “I can see this fire-based voting style catching on. This could be how they elect the next Tory leader.”
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Impressively, Joebe89 called the result before the show started: “Can only see this ending up as a win for Jake and Leanne. The Faithfuls should vote off both Frankie and Charlotte, then I expect Leanne to turn on Alexander, with Jake going along with it.”
styletraveller adds: “Another brilliant series. The Seer thing didn’t really work but otherwise it was another nail-biting finale. Wonderful January viewing. Jake and Leanne were worthy winners.”
Xenon08 says: “Charlotte is playing a blinder. It won’t save her, but she’s good!”
Shanika replies: “Not really. The crying finished her. The key to acting is to not act and to be a blank slate for the audience.”
Katie1 says: “Really hope Alexander wins. He’s the only one with an altruistic motive for the prize money.”
Your Traitors final verdicts
Time for a round-up of your comments. Whistledownthewind says: “Judging by Leanne’s pretty disastrous drops in tonight’s challenge, I hope she didn’t use much artillery when she was in the army.”
Somersetlass says: “I’m not sure Frankie played that particularly well, letting Charlotte have her say first. Charlotte is actually a brilliant actor.”
MartGray says: “Poor Frankie. This is a cruel amount of stress to be dumped on a Faithful so close to the end. I definitely don’t want to have the Seer twist again.”
whistledownthewind adds: “Francesca voting to banish again = Turkey voting for early Christmas.”
Tonight’s non-treacherous TV tips
In case you need something more calming viewing to recover: right now, The Last Leg returns to Channel 4 and there’s a Detectorists rerun on BBC2.
At 11.05pm, it’s The Graham Norton Show on BBC1 with Reese Witherspoon, Will Ferrell, Ariana Grande and Don Gilet on the sofa, plus music from Olly Alexander.
Film-wise, there’s action-fest Face/Off (10.45pm on ITV1), psychological thriller Before I Go to Sleep (11.05pm on BBC2) or Second World War drama Defiance (11.55pm on BBC1). They all involve treachery and betrayal of some kind, which is nice.
Don’t go Traitors cold turkey just yet
Not only is an extended special of companion show - sorry, “visualised podcast” - Traitors Uncloaked underway on BBC1, with host Ed Gamble joined by Claudia and all the finalists, but the BBC is shrewdly sending more Traitors action our way.
The Traitors USA (hosted by Alan Cumming, who’s even camper than our Claud) has just dropped its first five episodes on BBC iPlayer. New instalments will then arrive each Friday.
I’ve seen the first few and it’s a riot. Don’t be put off if you have no idea who the so-called “celebrity” players are. Just enjoy the over-the-top drama.
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Justice was done with Jake's win
Ever since he rumbled head-swivelling Linda in episode one, Jake Brown has earned a reputation as an effective Traitor-hunter. The project manager from Barrow-in-Furness continued to root out deception and pursue his hunches. It took him all the way to a worthy win.
Once the noisier and less canny males had departed, quietly shrewd Jake came into his own. He was voted “leader of the wolf pack”, took charge on missions impressively during the home stretch and used his growing influence to help propel the Faithful to victory. He followed the evidence and wasn’t swayed by Charlotte’s am-dram tears. He’s long had his suspicions about Frankie and Alexander, too.
Jake and Leanne were left as the last two standing. She might have doubted him for a minute but he never doubted her. He plans to spend his £47.3K winnings on giving back to his parents and making home improvements with his wife. Not earth-shaking ambitions, admittedly, but that’s down-to-earth Jake for you.
After air-punching at Round Tables whenever they found a Traitor, his final celebrations were sweetly subdued. Victory meant a lot to Jake, who has proved that cerebral palsy is no handicap. Get in! From day one, he knew it.
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Barbie turned out to be bullet-proof
Leanne survived an attempted murder, intermittent suspicion and many arguments to make it all the way. “Assassin Barbie” ultimately took down all but one player to scoop half the prize. And how she deserved it. Having posed as a nail technician, hidden her military experience and concealed her physical capabilities during missions, Leanne proved she wasn’t to be underestimated – the point she’d set out to make.
Like joint winner Jake, she was a dogged detective with an uncanny memory for incriminating details. She voted to banish Charlotte at the first two Round Tables of the series, voted for Frankie last week and had lingering doubts about Alexander all along. Now she “trusted her gut” and ousted all three. Only one was a Traitor, as it turned out, but them’s the breaks.
Leanne wants to add to her family with partner Sophie, having opened up about her difficult birth experience last time around. There might also be wedding bells on the horizon, in which case her £47.3K cash prize will help. She becomes the second soldier in a row to win, after Harry last year. Salute!
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Credits roll. Everyone breathe
So there we have it. Leanne Quigley and Jake Brown become the third winners of The Traitors UK, following in the triumphant footsteps of series one’s Aaron, Hannah and Meryl, and season two’s Harry Clark.
Well, that was a nerve-shredding, nail-biting 70 minutes but with worthy winner, I thought. Please stay with us for analysis, reaction and a round-up of your comments.
Leanne and Jake win The Traitors
After 12 episodes, eight murders and 14 banishments, they’re declared joint winners, taking £47,300 each. Leanne confesses that she’s an ex-soldier, rather than a nail tech. Rubbish reveals of our time.
Air-punches and damp eyes all round. “You smashed it,” smiles La Winkle, before adding impishly. “I can’t wait to tell you where Charlotte’s from.” She takes them off for a celebratory glass of champagne. Hope they’ve washed the flutes since Frankie and Charlotte’s awkward drinkipoo.
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Two Faithfuls win
Jake and Leanne reveal that they’re Faithful and embrace by the firepit. Claudia wipes away a mascara-streaked tear.
The game ends
As only two players remain, it’s all over. Claudia reveals that Charlotte was a Traitor but Alexnder and Frankie were both Faithful.
Leanne is gutted and now seems to think that Jake is a Traitor. “Why are you not looking me in the eye?” she asks.
Francesca is banished
The Seer role turned out to be a poisoned chalice. And not even one filled with fizzt rosé.
All down to Leanne
Frankie votes to banish Jake. Jake votes to banish Frankie. Leanne votes to banish… Frankie!
Leanne agonises over her vote but finally locks it in.
Back to the chalkboards again
You know the drill by now. Chalk it down. Lock it in. Turn it over slowly. Probably make a spelling mistake.
Suspicion turns on Frankie
“Do not trust this woman” is coming back to haunt her. Frankie plays the mum card again and appeals to Leanne. Jake tells Leanne to “trust her gut”. Drink!
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Frankie votes to banish again! She’s full of surprises. Jake and Leanne vote likewise. Everyone still thinks there’s a Traitor in their midst. The paranoia! The tension!
And then there were three
Back to the pyro-pouches we go. Soon available at a merch site near you, I imagine. Ideal for Fireworks Night or a spot of light arson.
Alexander is banished
Last in, next out. Surprise Frankie turned on him, though.
Back to the chalkboards
We go again. Boy, this is tense. Leanne and Alexander vote for one another, Framie turns on Alexander! Gasp. So does Jake. Unanimous again.
Leanne chooses to...
Banish again! There will be another banishment. Alexander, Frankie and Jake vote likewise. None of them trust there’s no more Traitors.
Green flames mean end the game. If one burns red, all four will banish again. Here we go.
Are they going to do the colour-coded flames again? Like a baby gender reveal but even more melodramatic.
They can now end the game but only if it’s unanimous. Buckle up, buttercups.
The endgame has arrived
After one-on-one fireside interviews with Claudia about how much they want to win, the final four gather around the firepit for the re-coupling ceremony. Sorry, wrong show. That’s Love Island.
They assemble around the flickering flame to toast muffins – and quite possibly, one another’s chances.
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Frankie thinks there’s another Traitor and it’s one of the boys. Leanne still has Alexander in her cross-hairs. This isn’t over.
And then there were four
The last Traitor is caught. The Faithful were right. But they don’t know that for sure. Will the rule-change make the players even more paranoid than usual? Or will the quartet stick together and agree to end the game?
Charlotte is banished
They don’t get the release and drama of revealing if they’re a Faithful or a Traitor. Instead they leave the castle immediately. What no bow or mic drop? No Linda-like running off like an escaped toddler?
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The votes are locked in
Francesca and Charlotte vote for one another. Jake votes for Charlotte, saying the trust is gone. Alexander and Leanne also vote for Charlotte. Unanimous.
“Do not trust this woman,” says Charlotte. Wow.
Alexander remains on Frankie’s side and denies ever suspecting her, which Leanne and Jake immediately pounce upon. Alexander jibbers nervously and uses the phrase “heated whispering”.
Is Alexander losing this for Frankie?
Charlotte brings up her conspiracy theory. Frankie and Alexander, she says, are a Traitor twosome together.
Frankie insists she hates drama. Which is hard to carry off while wearing a red sparkly dress in a castle.
Charlotte makes her own pitch, with side eye from Frankie. Charlotte is trying to win round Jake and Leanne. She seems to have given up on Alexander as a lost cause.
Frankie begins
She says that if she was a Traitor, she wouldn’t have picked Charlotte to use her Seer powers on. She says Charlotte is crying tears of pressure and prays that she was recruited, not a Traitor from the start.
Players, the floor is yours
Who can you trust? Who can you not? Let the tenuous theories, crocodile tears and wild accusations begin. A black velvet tuxedo for our host. Classic Claud.
This is it. The final round table
Will verbal barbs or glass goblets be thrown? Will the chalkboard spellings finally be correct (“Armania”, “Mina” and “Nather” indeed)? Will someone take a bow or leave “a parting gift”?
Let’s find out in the last circular showdown of the series. Commence pacing, Claudia…
Alexander remains suspicious of Leanne. In the kitchen, there’s a pre-match conversation between Frankie and Charlotte, who says she’s “just playing the game”. This is coming to a boil beautifully.
Meanwhile in the garden, Charlotte mounts her campaign to win over Alexander and Jake. Ever sharp, Jake questions why if Frankie was a Traitor, she’d choose her friend Charlotte to frame. Good point. Frankie seems to have more players on her side at this stage.
Tension is cranking up ahead of the final round table. Frankie has a whispered conversation with Leanne in the kitchen. She plays the “mummy” card to get Leanne on-side, which is either clever or cynical or both. Either way, it seems to be working.
Series highlights, anyone?
While we’re at a slight lull in the action, what have been your most memorable moments of the series?
The steam train coming to a sudden stop, perhaps? Linda’s meerkat head-swivel? Lisa’s “As God is my witness” whoopsie? Armani telling off the “sisterhood” in the turret? Dr Shpiuman-gate? Phallic statue-gate? The creepy doll mission? The rail replacement bus service? Dan’s eye roll? Freddie’s terrible fib? Linda telling Fozia to “get over it” after she’d killed her?
Let us know on social media or in the comments section below. There are no gold coins in it, sadly, but I’d love to hear them.
Mission accomplished
They’ve added £21,000 to the prize fund, taking the total to £94,600. It’s no Mr Beast but it’s definitely not to be sniffed at. Cheerleader-in-chief Claudia was celebrating as hard as the players were.
Frankie and Alexander now team up. Does this give Charlotte a chance to push the conspiracy narrative? It would be amazing if they dropped Alexander into a hedge here.
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Jake, who has cerebral palsy, is proud to show people that his disability doesn’t hold him back. Great job. He can update his LinkedIn profile to add “Traitor-hunter and helicopter-dangler”.
Leanne is giving it some serious screaming as she and Jake dangle from beneath the whirlybird and attempt to drop moneybags into the burning ring of fire. She’s a nail technician, not a military veteran, remember?
Charlotte is left on the ground, giving directions. An important job, sure, but she’s separate from the rest. Significant?
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What is this? I’m A Celeb or Succession?
A helicopter lands in the castle grounds. I think this happened in last year’s final too. They should’ve mixed it up with Lime bikes or a hovercraft.
The final mission looms
Time for the black-clad, ninja-looking final five to be set their 11th and last epic mission. They can win £30,000, taking the prize pot to a tasty £100K.
Rule change with the reveals tonight
A reminder that this year, the finalists will no longer reveal whether they’re a Faithful or Traitor at banishment. Instead, the remaining players will need to rely solely on their instincts as to whether any Traitors are left – making their decision of when to end the game harder than ever.
How will this tweak affect proceedings? Will their facial expressions and body language give their status away? We’ll soon see when it plays out…
Charlotte speculates to Leanne that Frankie and Alexander might be in it together, hatching a conspiracy plot against her. Remember those whispered corridor conversations and gifted gold coins? Now Charlotte tries to win around Alexander. She’s damp-cheeked and beating Linda to the acting awards here.
Meanwhile, Frankie chats to Jake. She vows to play Charlotte at her own game “but nicely”. Jake and Leanne seem torn.
Charlotte turns on the waterworks and tries to win around Leanne. However, she remembers Freddie voting for Charlotte before he was banished.
The intrigue! Somehow this reminds me of a school disco.
Charlotte is being a mean girl, getting in little digs at Frankie wherever she can. She walks out of the breakfast room on her own. Looks like everyone is siding with Frankie. Especially Alexander, obviously.
Winkleman wardrobe watch
Here comes our lady-of-the-manor, looking chic as always in a tartan tunic and slim black trouser.
Frankie is staying impressively calm here but Charlotte deserves an Oscar. Possibly one with a Welsh accent and a tiny knitted jumper.
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Charlotte claims she's a Faithful
She immediately tells everyone that Frankie will “spin it the other way”. Frankie says exactly the opposite. The mutual accusations of lying begin. “What the actual hell is going on?” asks Leanne.
Where’s the waistcoat, Charlotte?
A friend of mine called her “Gareth Southgate with a scrunchie” and I haven’t been able to shake the image since. Anyone else? She and Frankie arrive together. Frankie does boggly eyes and whispers “Traitor” to Jake. Well, she didn’t hang around.
Here comes Alexander
Someone told me recently that if you close your eyes, he sounds exactly like Daniel Radcliffe. Try it.
Even his surname, Dragonetti, sounds like something from Harry Potter. Expelliarmus hedgerow fallus!
Jake arrives first
Followed by Leanne, aka Assassin Barbie. Cue the first of what I suspect will be many tears tonight. This show is brought to you in association with Kleenex Balsam Extra-Absorbent Multipacks.
The last breakfast
The number of diners at that breakfast table has been shrinking by the day. Now it’s set for five. Behind that table-scaping lurks cheese, pickles, all manner of slightly stale pastries and even more intrigue.
The final five arrive separately for a change, allowing them to reflect on their journey™.
Frankie learns Charlotte's true nature
“It’s a shock to the heart,” says Frankie, while Charlotte replies: “It doesn’t leave this room.” Frankie realises immediately that Charlotte will turn the tables and claim she’s the Traitor. Of course she will. They burn the evidence, as per the rules.
It’s not over until the Linda lady sings…
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Geez, this is tense. And not a little awkward. Trembly fingers, wobbly lips and twitchy body language ahoy.
Seer vs Traitor
We return to that table-for-two as Frankie the Seer gets ready to face Charlotte the Traitor and learn her true identity. Gulp.
First owl of the evening. Drink!
Oh Freddie, you endearing doofus. Why didn’t you just say that Charlotte told you?
And we’re off!
Roll the traditional “Previously on the Traitors” recap. Sisterhoods, both real and metaphorical! Seers! Secret priests! Undercover soldiers! A posh lady pretending to be Welsh! Creepy dolls! Rail replacement coach services!
Meep. Last chance to adjust your fringe and nip to the castle loo. We’re about to go over to the Scottish Highlands…
Amanda & Alan’s Spanish Job just finishing on BBC1 right now. What have we done to be punished so cruelly? Alan & Amanda’s Spanish Flu, more like. Mere minutes to wait now…
Around £90K at stake
After 10 missions, the prize fund stands at £73,600 from a possible £99,950. They’ll have the opportunity to increase this by a further £20k in tonight’s final mission – meaning it will narrowly be the smallest sum in three series.
Who’ll take the loot home? Just five minutes until we don our green velvet hoods and wax-seal our scrolls…
Those we have lost
Just time to raise a respectful chalice to the 20 contestants who didn’t make it this far.
The eight murder victims, in chronological order, were Yin Lü (that’ll teach her for reading books), Keith Stewart (poor Uncle Keith), Maia Gouveia (just hours after her sister was banished), Olivia “Livi” Deane (still blaming Freddie), Fozia Fazil (get over it), Anna Duke (with her outfits), Rev Lisa Coupland (an unholy crime) and Joe Scott (a nation rejoiced).
The 11 banished were Nathan Khider (me neither), Elen Wyn (who actually was Welsh), Armani Gouveia (the first Traitor to fall), Dr Kasim Ahmed (that’ll teach him for curing people), Tyler Smith (that’ll teach him for smiling), Dan Bird (eye roll), Linda Rands (how did the hapless Traitor last that long?), Alex Oleksy (kitchen slip-up), Leon Jackman (clique/click), Minah Shannon (Queen Traitor of our hearts) and finally, Freddie Fraser (hopeless liar).
“Math” nerds might have spotted that only makes 19. The 20th, of course, was mulleted Yorkshire lad Jack Marriner-Brown, who might still be caged in the woods for all we know. Not long now…
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Penultimate episode recapped
A quick reminder of last night’s developments. Much to new Traitor recruit Freddie’s surprise, Leanne came down to breakfast alive and well, after being protected from murder by her shield. He realised Charlotte had stitched him up but bluffed, pretending he knew about the shield all along because “Minah told me”. Hmm.
A Memory Lane mission was completed, with whoever banked most money being appointed the Seer. Alexander realised he wasn’t going to win, so gave his gold coins to Frankie. At the Round Table, Freddie claimed he’d spoken to Minah in the bar the previous night – even though she’d been banished by then. Everyone realised he was fibbing and Freddie was unanimously banished. Which at least gives him more time to soap his six-pack.
Frankie was announced as the Seer and told to pick a private face-to-face meeting with any of her fellow players to discover their true status. In a delicious shock, she chose Charlotte. We left the pair awkwardly sipping fizz at a table for two, with Frankie about to learn that Charlotte was a Traitor. Roll credits and cue agonised howls from sofas nationwide.
Now we’ve refreshed our January-addled memories, it’s 10 minutes until the fingerless gloves come off….
Record ratings expected tonight
Traitors-mania has gripped the nation more than ever this year, with episodes being watched by more than 10m faithful viewers. Tonight’s final is expected to hit new heights, with the audience predicted to climb towards 12m. Who needs Gavin, Stacey, Wallace or Gromit? Let alone Feathers McGraw.
It’s just 15 minutes until the turret bell tolls…
Let’s play Traitors final bingo
Tick them off as they happen on-screen! Take a drink for each! End up on the Diane tribute fizzy rosé and fall into a hedge like Alexander!
Here’s your 10-point spotter’s guide for tonight’s final…
“Why am I still here? I must be close to a Traitor who’s keeping me in”
Cutaway shot of an owl/eagle/grouse/peacock
Nervous sipping of glass goblet and licking of lips at Round Table
Frankie wears something with a signature sleeve or puffy shoulder
“I love you” or heart-hands before a banishment
An amusingly on-the-nose song strikes up on the soundtrack
Someone says they’re “100% Faithful” or “Going with their gut”
Claudia gets amusingly cross at Round Table and tells them off
Misspelling on slate at Round Table, even though there’s only four other names to learn and they’ve had weeks to do so
One last reappearance for the horror clowns/creepy dolls
Charlotte’s chances have seriously shrunk
Business director Charlotte Berman’s masterful gameplay got her nearly all the way, undetected and mainly unsuspected. En route, the faux-Welsh schemer has seen off two fellow Traitors in Minah (sob) and Freddie (bless). So why is apex predator Charlotte suddenly at risk?
Well, it’s all down to last night’s devastating bombshell twist. Interior designer Francesca Rowan-Plowden, aka “Faithful Frankie” was made The Seer, granting her the power to discover one other player’s true identity. In a shock scene, she chose her friend Charlotte. Frankie said she wanted affirmation that Charlotte was a Faithful so they could progress to the final together and presumably split the prize pot between them.
In a delicious irony, though, she accidentally found a Traitor. Well, there’s a first time for everything. But how will Frankie handle her new-found knowledge? Will anyone believe her? Will Charlotte be publicly unmasked at last? Or can she convince the rest that Frankie is framing her?
Twenty minutes until we get our first clues…
Jake and Leanne are the new bookies’ favourites
Until THAT plot twist in the penultimate episode, Charlotte was bookies’ favourite to take the spoils. That has been flipped upside down and she’s now the rank outsider.
Jake is the narrow favourite, with Leanne just behind. Alexander is in third spot, perhaps surprisingly, with Frankie in fourth. Can anyone upset the odds? It’s 23 minutes until the owl hoots…
Final five break the pattern
For the first time in the UK show, we arrive at the final with four Faithfuls (Frankie, Jake, Leanne and Alexander) and just one Traitor (lonely Charlotte). In the previous two finals, it’s been three Faithfuls versus two Traitors.
Will that tip the scales towards the non-murderous majority? It’s half an hour until we go over to that well-appointed Highland country pile…
Who will be crowned king or queen of the castle?
It’s Faithfuls (plural) versus Traitor (singular) – with the first ever Seer thrown into the mix for good measure. Good evening all and welcome to the decisive showdown in those castle corridors. Yes, it’s the killer climax of The Traitors UK series three. I’m Michael, your cyber sofa companion for tonight’s torchlit turret action. Please watch along with me as our final five players betray, battle and bicker in their bid to take the ultimate prize.
On New Year’s Day, a fresh batch of 25 strangers boarded a steam train to the Scottish Highlands for the cloak-and-dagger reality contest. Since then, 20 have been murdered under cover of darkness or banished from the castle walls forever. Or in poor Jack’s case, never even made it over the drawbridge.
Now just five remain. One last mission and the highest-stakes Round Table yet are all that stands between them and that prize pot, which stands at £73,600 going into this extended 70-minute finale.
It’s tantalisingly set up for a dramatic denouement. Could snaky Charlotte, the lone Traitor left, snatch it all? Will Frankie the Seer unmask her? Is unlucky Alexander destined to be banished first? Can Leanne and Jake rise to the occasion? With plot twists and format tweaks aplenty – more on those in a moment – anything could happen. Backs will doubtless be stabbed. Blazing rows and blubbing are inevitable. Our heads might spin as much as over-acting Linda and Claudia Winkleman’s pet owl combined.
There will be no more murders but banishments will continue until the players are confident that no Traitors remain. If they’re right, the surviving Faithful will share the cash. But if a Traitor makes it to the end, they will take all the money and run off cackling into the Inverness night. It’s going to be more gripping than Leanne’s French-manicured fingers around an immunity shield.
It’s cloak o’clock at 8.30pm on BBC One. I’ll be liveblogging from 8pm, providing build-up, rolling coverage, Claudia outfit commentary and Linda-style double-takes when something exciting happens. So charge your chalice, clean your chalkboard and I’ll see you on the sofa.
I’d love to hear from you too. You can tweet me @michaelhogan, find me on Bluesky @michaelhogan100, email me michael.hogan.freelance@guardian.co.uk and the comments section below is open for conclave-style conversation. Welsh accents not compulsory. I’ll keep a Seer’s eye on them and quote a selection. Like La Winkle says, the floor is yours.
Can the Traitors make it two in a row? Or will the pure and Faithful prevail? It’s nearly time to drive a black Land Rover down Ardross Castle’s crunchy gravel driveway and find out…
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