ITV's revamp of 70s detective series Van der Valk starring Marc Warren was a big hit on Sunday night with over five million viewers tuning in.
With that in mind, I have decided to help out TV bosses by coming up with another ten cop show blasts from the past that need a good reworking over.
Do you think I might be onto something with these ideas?
Or should someone lock me up and throw away the key for even daring to suggest anyone could step into the shoes of greats like John Thaw and Helen Mirren?
Prime Suspect (ITV, 1991-2006)
With all due respect to trailblazers such as Juliet Bravo’s Inspector Jean Darblay and The Gentle Touch’s DI Maggie Forbes, no female police officer on British TV had quite the same impact as Prime Suspect’s DSI Jane Tennison.
Helen Mirren won a hat-trick of TV Baftas for her portrayal of Tennison and she has been widely credited with changing the way TV networks around the world viewed casting women in lead roles of crime dramas.
With that in mind, any remake would need an actress with a strong enough pedigree to succeed Mirren.
That’s where the words Happy, Valley, Sarah and Lancashire come in.
I’m already excited about watching Lancashire in this and it hasn’t even been commissioned – or written for that matter yet!
The Professionals (ITV 1977-1983)
If McMafia’s James Norton and Bodyguard’s Richard Madden fail to land the James Bond gig, I have just the consolation prize.
They can take on a pair of legendary tough-guy roles made famous by Lewis Collins and Martin Shaw.
Ex-policeman Ray Doyle (Shaw) and ex-SAS man Will Bodie (Collins) were agents in the fictional CI5 (MI5 basically), sternly marshalled by their boss Major George Cowley (Gordon Jackson).
Bodie and Doyle’s specialities were car chases, shootouts and romance.
All three of those pursuits are still relevant, and Norton and Madden have proved they are more than able to handle that kind of action.
As for who plays Cowley, let’s have a modern update. Keeley Hawes.
Inspector Morse (ITV, 1987-2000)
With ITV’s Endeavour successfully going back in time to cover Morse’s early life and career, there is just one logical next step. Remake the John Thaw version.
The original stories were on TV long enough ago for viewers to have forgotten what happened, so the only issue would be finding someone who could possibly step into the shoes of the legendary Thaw.
I’m thinking Benedict Cumberbatch. Spookily enough Cumberbatch is now 44, the same age Thaw was when he began making the dreaming spires of Oxford his TV realm.
As with BBC1’s Sherlock, I’d set this remake in the present day. I’d lose Sherlock’s gimmickery though.
As for who would play Morse’s sidekick Lewis, would Martin Freeman be too confusing?
No? Good, let’s go with him then.
The Sweeney (ITV, 1975-78)
History states that when this show arrived in the md-70s it didn’t just break the mould – it smashed it into tiny effin' pieces.
The Flying Squad’s swearing, fighting, boozing and womanising duo DCI Jack Regan (John Thaw) and DS George Carter (Dennis Waterman) were certainly unlike any TV policemen Britain had known.
Obviously, modern TV sensitivities would demand some delicate script rewrites.
That doesn’t mean it can’t be done though. As Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins has proved, there is still room for non-PC tough guys.
ITV and the BBC might still be too scared to make it, but that’s what Netflix and Sky Atlantic are for.
Casting wise I’d go Stephen Graham (Regan) and Idris Elba (Carter).
Rosemary & Thyme (ITV, 2003-2007)
This horticultural detective series may have sounded like someone came up with a catchy title in the pub one lunchtime and just took winged it from thereon in, but it turned out to be a huge hit for ITV.
Pam Ferris played Laura Thyme, a former police officer and keen gardener, while Felicity Kendall was former University lecturer Rosemary Boxer.
By some strange quirks of fate people kept getting murdered on the gardening jobs that R&T were working on.
Bearing in mind how ridiculous that all sounds, you won’t be surprised to hear who my choices to play them in the revamp are.
Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins. I’m not fussed who plays who, although as Sue wears glasses she’ll probably get the nod as the academic one.
Cagney & Lacey (BBC1, 1982 - 1988)
I know it’s an American show, but I’m allowed one. Besides, this is one of my favourite cop dramas of all time.
My teenage Saturday nights were all about Mary Beth Lacey (Tyne Daly) and Christine Cagney (Sharon Gless) fighting crime and misogyny in New York City.
It could be argued that we’ve already had a revamp in the UK with ITV’s Scott & Bailey, which starred Lesley Sharp as Cagney – sorry, Scott - and Suranne Jones as Lacey - sorry, Bailey.
With that in mind, I’d go for a US remake with American actresses picking up the torch – Homeland’s Claire Danes as Cagney and Mila Kunis as Lacey.
Poirot (ITV 1989 – 2013)
The BBC had a stab at reviving Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot in 2018, with Hollywood star John Malkovich taking over the lead role made famous by David Suchet.
Suchet wore the twirly moustache for 25 years as ITV committed to screen every story Christie had written featuring the great Belgian detective.
Malkovich certainly brought a different look and feel to the role, but I reckon there’s an even bigger twist to be had.
My new Poirot would be played by a woman, and I can think of no one better suited to the part than Fleabag genius Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
Imagine how cool she would look in the vintage costumes. And imagine how brilliant the scripts would be if she agreed to write those as well.
The Bill (ITV, 1983-2010)
Alongside the decommissioning of London’s Burning, the untimely axing of this weekly drama must go down as one of ITV’s biggest crimes of all time.
At the time, ITV said they’d done it to reflect the “changing tastes” of viewers.
Ten years on, with police dramas still topping the ratings charts, you have to wonder how that decision is working out for ITV.
There’s one way to right that wrong, of course. Bring the old bill back to our TV screens.
Casting-wise I’d keep a few of the old faces and supplement that with some well-known soap stars who might be looking for a fresh challenge.
Danny Dyer and Ross Kemp running amok in Sun Hill CID? You know you’d love to see it.
Taggart (ITV, 1983-2010)
This is no judgement on the work of the cast who carried on with the show for six years following the death of Mark McManus, but my remake would revolve around Mark’s legendary Glaswegian DCI Jim Taggart.
The early Taggart was doing dark and gritty long before the likes of Wire In The Blood, Silent Witness and Luther came along.
The setting helped. Glasgow is a lovely place, but we rarely saw its sunny side in the seventeen years this show was on air. A few chords of the theme tune should have been enough to tell you things were about to get brutal.
There was dark humour in the scripts though. That’s why I’d cast someone like Robert Carlyle in the lead role. I'd also love to hear him say, "There's been a mudder."
Bergerac (BBC1, 1981-1991)
With Death In Paradise proving to be such an enduring hit, now is surely the perfect time to bring back another detective who did his sleuthing on a sunshine island.
Plus, Jersey is nowhere near as far away as the Caribbean so this revamp would save the cash-strapped BBC a lot of money.
John Nettles starred as recovering alcoholic divorcee Jim Bergerac in the original version of this hugely popular series which, despite regularly appearing in a cosy Sunday night slot, had its fair share of hardened criminals and controversial storylines.
Oh, and what a killer theme tune.
The new Jim needs to be played by a rugged yet smooth fella who’d look good behind the wheel of a burgundy Triumph Roadster.
So, Matthew Macfayden then.
PS. My ten ideas might take a while to reach the screen, so in the meantime how about a quick Kojak revival for Comic Relief?
I think I know just the man to play the lead....
How about it Gregg?
