ELLIS BROOKLYN
Vanilla Milk EDP Vanilla and milk get busy in a polyamorous paradiddle with jasmine and frangipani, turning a bedtime drink into foreplay. Weirdly wet and cold smelling, which I didn’t know I was into. £110 for 50ml, at spacenk.com
OLFACTIVE O GOURMAND I Am Sensual Nostalgic & Indulgent EDP
I’m wearing Fiorucci stretch jeans and a side ponytail. I aspire to Malibu but live in the Valley. At the kegger last night, Brad Mullins sniffed my hair and said I smelled like malted milk balls. I’m horny. £65 for 30ml (olfactiveo.com)
BULY Eau Triple Miel d’Angleterre
This water-based wonder smells like an expensive confection whipped up by some fancy molecular pâtissier. It’s a hologram of honey dusted by musk and a shadow of milk. Ethereal and tender. £143 for 75ml (buly1803.com)
DRIES VAN NOTEN Soie Malaquais EDP
Complex, haughty, esoteric. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but Soie Malaquais takes a detour through his brain. The scent moirés through blackcurrant, chestnut and hot-from-the-dryer cotton, never quite settling, which is unsettling. £245 for 100ml (driesvannoten.com)
PERFUMER H Saffron EDP
‘Gourmand’ doesn’t always mean cake: here Lyn Harris seizes on saffron, the spice Ancient Romans linked to seduction. Geranium garlands its leathery bittersweetness, mellowing the milky skin scent of sandalwood. Beautiful. Tough. From £150 for 50ml (perfumerh.com)
AKRO Bake EDP
Retro penny-sweet virtual reality: exactly the smell-of-the-taste of those rock hard toffee bonbons coated in zesty lemon powder. Relive the 1970s without sitting in a frigid front room during a blackout with a mouthful of broken teeth. £80 for 30ml (fenwick.co.uk)
KILIAN I Don’t Need a Prince by My Side to be a Princess EDP
Upmarket marshmallow fancy-dancing with sheer white florals and a bite of ginger. Too clean to be sexy, which is why it’s perfect for posh 13-year-olds. £100 for 50ml (bykilian.co.uk)
DS & DURGA Pistachio EDP
‘It’s pistachio!’ exclaims the press release for Pistachio, declaring that this esteemed member of the cashew family is ‘a fun nut’. Fun or no, there is certainly more than a niff of nut in this rich perfume, which also conjures honeyed rose and patchouli. £148 for 50ml, at e-scents.co.uk
