This coming-of-age story, set in the kitchen of a Manchester hotel, starts like a gentle 80s nostalgia-fest. Written by former Cold Feet actor Sally Rogers and directed by Nigel Douglas, it seems well-intentioned in its effort to explore class and sex but is executed so clumsily that it leaves you bilious.
The year, 1981, is glaringly signposted with mentions of Kevin Keegan, Keith Chegwin and Charles and Diana’s wedding as two young waitresses begin their shift. There is a sitcom feel to their chatter about holes in stockings and their smelly boss, Kevin (Chris Simmons). Janice (Kate James) dreams of leaving her small life in Stockport while her childhood friend Karen (Larner Wallace-Taylor) is happy with her lot.
It is light and wittery but turns from easy to queasy viewing. Firstly there is Kevin who seems to be inspired by Benny Hill with his oversized suit and horribly wandering hands. As a satirical figure, he is very much of the time, making sex jokes and gyrating his hips, but after a second male character, Dean (Jack Colgrave Hirst), comes on to speak of women as “sluts” and of Janice needing to “get laid”, the tone wavers between unfunny comedy and straight-up drama. Even more queasily, both Janice and Karen discuss their status as virgins with these men, seemingly unbothered, even asking Dean how it feels to have sex with a virgin.
The men spend most of their time prowling around these young women, speaking lasciviously about their bodies and propositioning them. Virginity is an over-repeated theme, and the drama culminates in an appalling moment of first-time sex on the kitchen worktop with others in the room. The scene seems to be aspiring toward comedy; either way, it is sickening to watch.
Because these characters are so flat, the script so crude and the acting – perhaps as a result – so awkward, it all feels banal and shocking in equal measure. At one point, Janice’s dress is accidentally opened to reveal her underclothes. At another, the new girl Diane (Zoe Brough) blithely tells the men about the first time she had sex. It is puerile, unsavoury and gratuitous.
Greater issues around class lie dormant, cloaked in anodyne statements, for way too long and then explode at the end. It feels like a missed opportunity because Janice is a potentially powerful character – ambitious, intelligent and bolshy who knows the only thing that holds her back is the trap of her social class. It is why she clashes with middle-class Diane, who only takes up this job in the kitchen to finance a glamorous summer holiday in Greece. James, making her stage debut here, does a heroic job in trying to make her character’s action convincing.
But as it stands, it works neither as comedy or drama, its punchlines way too soft, its action having little depth, atmosphere or believability. It is, to misquote a 1980s legend, not in the best possible taste.
At the Park theatre, London, until 25 June.
