Gen Z is often described as the most anxious, stressed, and burned-out generation, but there’s another superlative that’s been overlooked: we might be the most rejected generation in history.
From dating apps to job applications, it seems like we’re constantly facing a barrage of “no”. But is this just a part of growing up, or is there something more profound at play?
Dating: the endless swipe
Dating apps have turned rejection into a casual, everyday experience. You might get rejected by more potential partners in a week than a boomer has in their entire life with the rate we’re swiping through people. Hinge’s Gen Z D.A.T.E Report shows that 90 per cent of Gen Z daters want to find love, but 56 per cent are held back by fear of rejection. This fear isn’t just about the apps; it’s about the culture of “cringe” and the ease of detachment.
But why are we getting rejected so much? One reason is the sheer volume of potential partners available, which can lead to a culture of disposability. As therapist and TikToker Jeff Guenther told Business Insider, “It’s a funny situation where it’s okay to not get back to people.”
This disposability is exacerbated by social media, often presents unrealistic expectations and fosters a sense of competition. I mean we literally have YouTube series like The Button that gamify rejection or even shows like The Bachelor where rejection is on full display. I don’t think our parents’ generation had to endure this type of normalisation. It’s no wonder Hinge’s report highlights that 95 per cent of Gen Z singles confess to fearing rejection, and 44 per cent have little to no dating experience.
Interestingly, Gen Z is also 39 per cent more likely than millennials to consider themselves romantically idealistic, despite the high rejection rates. This (lowkey delulu) paradox highlights the complexity of our generation’s approach to love and relationships and now my brain hurts.
So before I started spiralling about every time I’ve been rejected, I took it to my friends and followers on Instagram to ask them about the most painful rejections they’ve faced and the responses were telling. One friend shared, “A guy ghosted me after he introduced me to his family, cooked for me and everything.” The audacity of modern dating, honestly.
Another friend shared that after six months of dating she would ask the person who she was seeing if they want to be in a relationship. “They said I’m not interested in being in a relationship. I bailed and then a couple months later they would be in a relationship. This happened four times in a row. I started to believe I was the ‘inbetween’ girl,” she said.
As a girlie who has had multiple exes get engaged months after ending things with me (one even to someone with my same name), I felt this to my core.
I’m not saying that romantic rejection is exclusive to Gen Z, but there’s no denying that the amount of options that we have in front of us means that we inevitably will get rejected more. Think about it — if Hinge has a ‘like limit’ of eight per day and you hit that limit everyday, that’s a potential for 240 rejections per month. No wonder we’re all depressed!
Jobs: the never ending application cycle
In the job market, Gen Z faces a similar deluge of rejection. With platforms like LinkedIn and SEEK, applying to hundreds of jobs is common, only to be met with silence or a generic “no”. The average job opening receives over 240 applications, according to data shared with Business Insider, making it a numbers game where success often feels like luck rather than merit. And boy is that real. Before getting this job I was rejected from 43 job in the span of three months.
Friends shared their own job rejection horror stories, like one who said, “A job rejecting me after everything but the contract was all signed,” or another who was laid off for “silly reasons like yawning and sighing”.
In a small poll I conducted on my Instagram, 69 per cent of respondents said that job rejection hurt the most, followed by 27 per cent who think romantic rejection hurts the most, and only 5 per cent cited university-related rejection. This shows how deeply job rejection affects us. It’s no surprise, really. As Gen Zs we’ve grown up witnessing constant financial insecurity — from watching our parents go through the 2007 GFC to mass job losses during the pandemic. And now we are trying to survive a cost of living crisis at the start of our careers.
Why are we getting rejected so much in the job market? One reason is the ease of applying, thanks to AI-enabled tools that make it simple to customise resumes and cover letters. This has led to a surge in applications, overwhelming companies and making it harder for individuals to stand out. Additionally, the rise of “ghost jobs” aka a job posting that appears online but is either already filled, non-existent, or the company has no intention of filling it. The Guardian reported last year that 40 per cent of companies posted fake job listings. Even more terrifying — 85 per cent of those companies hosted fake interviews as well. The audacity!!
One of my friends shared maybe the most diabolical rejection story: “[I had a] job rejection after a six week long process of eight interviews with six different people from their senior team including the CEO flying to Melbourne (from Sydney) to meet me which was when I was told I didn’t have enough years experience.” For why???
How are we meant to gain the experience when no one will give us a job? Whatever happened to an entry level position?
Uni admissions: the application frenzy
University admissions have also become a battleground of rejection. Gen Zers apply to more schools than ever, with some submitting applications to over 20 institutions. This frenzy is driven by the ease of application and the fear of missing out.
Why are we getting rejected so much in college admissions? One reason is the increased accessibility of applications, which has led to a surge in submissions. Obviously access to education will always be a good thing and this is more so an issue in countries where privatised educational institutions promote a competitive approach to universities, for example the ivy league schools in America. However this, combined with the competitive nature of top-tier schools, means that even highly qualified candidates face rejection.
The impact on Gen Z’s psyche
So, what does this constant rejection do to Gen Z’s psyche? It fosters a sense of risk aversion and resilience, but also a numbness that masquerades as strength. As Natalie Buchwald noted in Business Insider, “I’m finding there’s more of a pervasive numbness that looks like resilience. But that’s not resilience; that’s disconnect”. This numbness can prevent us from forming meaningful connections, whether romantic or professional.
The future: A generation of rejectors?
As Gen Z grows older and eventually takes leadership roles, we’ll face a unique challenge: becoming the rejectors themselves. I wonder if we’ll continue this cycle of rejection, or will we find ways to make it more humane? Perhaps the key lies in recognising that rejection is not just about the individual; it’s about the systems that enable it. As Jeff Guenther suggested, “You’re not being rejected by actual people, but by technology”. Maybe it’s time to rethink these systems and find a way to make rejection less personal and less painful.
That being said, I fully put out that call out for rejection stories knowing I have multiple people that I’ve ghosted following me. I think it’s clear we all have a long way to go.
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