Many people associate Thanksgiving with football, perhaps because that sport is in season for the holiday, schedules games for the holiday and generally makes a production out of its connection with the holiday.
But let that not stop us from seeking, and finding, a baseball link to Thanksgiving. One of the joys of baseball is its frivolity; therefore, as we await any real baseball news, Sports Illustrated presents MLB teams as Thanksgiving foods, a likely incomplete and certainly ridiculous rundown.
Jerome Miron/USA Today Sports
Champagne: Rangers
Champs for the champs.
Beer: Phillies
They ultimately disappointed, but even so, no one throws a party like the Phillies.
Wine: Atlanta
Their 2021 title team boasted a Burgundy Boys club. The 2023 version, which bowed out in the NLDS, did kind of a lot of complaining.
Water: A’s
Much like owner John Fisher’s boondoggle of a Las Vegas stadium, it’s funded by taxpayers.
Shrimp cocktail: Mariners
It’s fun, but it’s over before the main course.
Deviled eggs: Giants
Eggs are pretty good on their own, but if you mess around with them enough, you can squeeze just a little more value out of them.
Cheese and crackers: Cubs
Did you expect this to be the Brewers? Well, the Cubs offered it $40 million.
Mixed nuts: Mets
Surprisingly expensive for the performance they produce.
Turkey: Yankees
The current product may put you to sleep, but you have to admit it’s not Thanksgiving without it.
Cranberry sauce: Angels
Why does this never taste good? I always think this will be the year it will taste good.
Henry Taylor/USA TODAY Network
Stuffing: Pirates
A historically meaningful franchise that has gotten a little dry.
Gravy: Diamondbacks
No one expected this season’s pennant, including them, and they’re well set up for the future, too.
Mashed potatoes: Red Sox
A Thanksgiving stalwart, but no matter how good it is, it’s really not quite as important as the turkey.
Green bean casserole: Cardinals
An iconic dish that might not be able to keep up with some of the new up-and-comers.
Brussels sprouts: Padres
For a long time, we thought they were terrible. Then we found out it was because we’d been making them wrong.
Salad: Reds
Where are you gonna go, Christmas?
Cornbread: Brewers
Always the side dish, never the main course.
Rolls: Marlins
You can save whatever doesn’t get eaten to make a Jake Burger.
Mac and cheese: Dodgers
It’s so good while you’re eating it—but it often makes you sick at the end.
Chris Day/USA TODAY Network
Butternut squash: Nationals
Much like the Nationals’ young core, it needs to ripen before it’s any good.
Carrots: Orioles
They’re orange and they involve having vision. They are also enjoying a resurgence.
Candied yams: Astros
The most polarizing food on the list—but somehow, year after year, hate it or love it, it’s still there.
Tourtière: Blue Jays
What do you want? It’s Canadian.
Leftovers sandwich: Rays
They take other teams’ castoffs and somehow end up with one of the best combinations of all.
Pumpkin pie: Twins
You never expect it to be the best pie, but then you taste them all and you’re like, Hey, this is pretty good!
Peanut butter pie: Tigers
It kind of looks like tiger stripes, plus they employ a guy named Reese (Olson).
Pecan pie: White Sox
Sometimes you just have to start from scratch.
Apple pie: Royals
It’s a classic, but it’s actually slightly out of season. Kind of like hitting singles and pitching to contact.
Chocolate pie: Guardians
This should taste better, shouldn’t it?
That weird thing that only your family makes: Rockies
They are doing their own thing, all the time.
