I genuinely can’t remember the last time the Detroit Lions had this much offseason goodwill.
After the colorful Dan Campbell led Detroit to the brink of the playoffs last year, the Lions have firmly become a “chic” team. To some prognosticators (including yours truly), they’re the clear NFC North favorite, and quite honestly — a perplexing 2023 NFL Draft plan aside — should likely be penciled in for even more success.
Yes, Lions fans: It’s OK to start dreaming. You (probably) won’t get hurt this time. I promise.
Now, with all of this kindness aside, there’s no fathomable way I could overlook the design of the Lions’ new throwback helmets. The monstrosities they unveiled Wednesday make me regret believing in Campbell’s promising program in Allen Park, Michigan.
From a cursory glance, that vintage Honolulu blue looks terrific! I even love the way the white chin strap accents the helmet’s sharp color. Provided you don’t squint and just skim by the helmet’s overall structure, you think Detroit’s got itself a fitting homage to its 1960s era and Ford’s classic Mustangs.
Alas, dear reader, it is never that simple. Because when you see the crude, overly simplistic drawing that is supposed to be the ferocious king/queen of the jungle, you realize the Lions can’t change who they are: An NFC basement dweller in spirit that can never be as cool as the famous American sports car.
start your engines pic.twitter.com/aHOUjl9VQ0
— Detroit Lions (@Lions) June 21, 2023
I mean, my goodness. I understand it’s in poor form and taste to change history after the fact. I know the Lions used to wear these in the 1960s — when the American people, by in large, had extremely minimal fashion standards from my vantage point — but did no one think of this logo’s transferrable application to the year 2023?
That lion looks like someone drew it from memory — like one of these NFL rookies trying (and failing) to nail down the accuracy of their new team’s mascot. It’s a drawing my grade-school niece or nephew would ask me to hang on my fridge, and yes, of course, I fulfill their request purely out of pride and love. This is an artist’s haphazard interpretation of a Division III football team’s logo, except it’s in the reject pile. Heck, it resembles an internet meme — someone actually proclaiming “graphic design is their passion” without a hint of irony only to pass this off as a disappointing example of their work.
The Lions might have a budding NFC powerhouse in the works. But no one will be intimidated by their look when they wear this glorified stick-figure lion to the field in the fall. They’ll just laugh, remembering Detroit’s pro football franchise can’t change its embarrassing past.
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This was how Twitter reacted to the Lions' throwback helmet and logo
Proud to partner with the Lions on the new alt helmet for the upcoming season 🤝🤝 https://t.co/QWYaMrEIEo
— sports paint (@sports_paint) June 21, 2023
As expected, the Lions blue helmet will be paired with the gray unitard. The whole thing is so unnecessary. pic.twitter.com/cuS8NDk8Nd
— NFL Fashion Advice (@fashion_nfl) June 21, 2023
I like the new Lions helmet, but man does it not look good with that uniform. pic.twitter.com/8MQYEeB5L2
— Matt St. Jean (@mattstdream) June 21, 2023
Napoleon Dynamite might be the creative mind behind the Detroit Lions' new helmets. 😂 pic.twitter.com/RXtAUnxAcc
— Covers (@Covers) June 21, 2023
Some millionaire had their 5 year old draw a lion and paid this team mad money to stick it on their helmet https://t.co/FznsRsa0Wg
— tiff’s tower of terror (@terribletiffy12) June 21, 2023
I refuse to believe people actually like these Lions helmets, they’re so bad 😂
— Nick Bradley (@The__Detroiter) June 21, 2023
I was expecting classic, but hoping for some modern flair.
I got both.
I dig it. https://t.co/ru96GmUDh9
— Jeremy Reisman (@DetroitOnLion) June 21, 2023
Ok the helmet is cool, but the Honolulu blue Mustang!? Sheeesh 🥵 https://t.co/ZlLhe5lXfr
— Daniella Bruce (@daniellabruce_) June 21, 2023
After thorough and thoughtful analysis of pairing this with the gray sweat suit uniforms: #onepride https://t.co/0I8gyKlWpe pic.twitter.com/udmzm6UEKU
— The Sunday Spins (@TheSundaySpins) June 21, 2023
