Every band has its big hits – those songs that appear on every ‘best of’ album and have racked up eight or nine-figure streams on Spotify. But what about the other end of the scale? The poor, unwanted runts and obscurities that have barely had any love showered on them over the years?
We’ve ventured into the dustier corners of the back catalogues of 10 of rock’s biggest bands to determine their least popular song, using their respective Spotify stats as a measure.
To make it as simple as possible we’re focussing on the albums the bands released during their lifetime, or just after – no posthumous box-sets. Also, forget half-finished outtakes, rough demos, alternate versions or live tracks – it’s singles and album tracks only. Ditto instrumental soundtrack songs, intro and outro tracks – ‘proper’ songs is what we’re interested in.
And let’s be clear – this doesn’t take into account all the many millions of listens these songs got on vinyl/CD/cassette/8-track or any other old school format that existed long before Spotify. Hey, we can only work with what we’re given.
Wooden spoons at the ready – these are the least popular songs by 10 major iconic bands.
Led Zeppelin – Walter’s Walk (1982)
No prizes for guessing the most listened to Led Zeppelin song (Stairway To Heaven, obviously, with almost 900 million streams). At the other end of the scale is Walter’s Walk, a turbocharged if forgettable rocker from the posthumous Coda album, with ‘only’ 2.6 million plays to its name – admittedly a figure that a lot of other bands would sell their grannies to match.
The Beatles – Little Child (1964)
We’re discounting Abbey Road’s 25-second outro Her Majesty (299K streams) because it’s barely even a song, and various Yellow Submarine tracks because they’re instrumental incidental music. Which leaves us with The Beatles’ knockabout, Ringo-sung cover of Carl Perkins’ rockabilly classic Honey Don’t, from 1964’s Beatles For Sale, with 6.27 million streams - impressive stuff by any other band, but nowhere near Hey Jude or Yesterday numbers.
Queen – My Baby Does Me (1989)
What goes for the Beatles goes for Queen and everyone else for that matter, so we’re ignoring Yeah! (the Made In Heaven album’s four-second closing track), and the soundtrack instrumentals from Flash. We’re also ruling out anything from the Queen + Paul Rodgers album The Cosmos Rocks, as it’s not ‘pure’ Queen. Which leaves us with cheesy synth-funk workout My Baby Does Me from 1989’s The Miracle, which has been played just 2.88 million times.
Pink Floyd – Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict (1969)
We”re discarding several shapeless instrumentals from 1969’s The Soundtrack To The Movie More. And to confuse matters, Spotify breaks some of Pink Floyd’s more epic tracks into separate songs - to make life easier, we’ve combined the streams for the relevant sections in each case. Which leaves us with wacko Ummagumma track Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict, which may be experimental to the point of being unlistenable, but it lasts almost five minutes, so we’re counting its comparatively lowly 1.99 million streams. Though fact that nearly two million people have sat through Roger Waters doing stupid voices while animals squeak in the background is kind of impressive.
The Rolling Stones – Back To Zero (1986)
Even the staunchest Rolling Stones fan would be hard pressed to defend 1986’s Dirty Work album, a record that was made when Keith Richards and Mick Jagger were barely talking to each other. No surprise that it’s home to their least popular song – specifically, the godawful Back To Zero, whose wine bar funk is offset with a jarring Jagger sneer. That album‘s closing track, Key To The Highway, has fewer listens, but it’s a 30 second instrumental, so it can jog on.
AC/DC – Brain Shake (1983)
1983’s stripped-back Flick Of The Switch may be the connoisseur’s Brian Johnson-era AC/DC album, but final song Brain Shake has been listened to just 1.208 million times – less than anything on the far inferior Fly On The Wall and Blow Up Your Video albums. The caveat here is that neither of the two Australia-only DC albums, 1975’s High Voltage and T.N.T., are available to stream on Spotify, at least in the UK.
David Bowie – ’87 And Cry (1987)
It’s easy to get lost in all the outtakes, alternative versions and remixes that were released while David Bowie was still alive and after his death, so we’re focussing on his proper studio albums here. His least popular song according to Spotify is ’87 And Cry, a flimsy, none-more-80s rocker from the little-loved Never Let Me Down album that has just 257,600 streams to its name. Of course, doesn’t take ito account the unjustly reviled Tin Machine, whose self-titled debut album is home to Video Crimes, which has amassed a pitiful 106,000 listens (even-more-maligned follow-up album Tin Machine 2 isn’t on Spotify, which is probably for the best).
Black Sabbath – Swinging The Chains (1978) / Buried Alive (1992)
With apologies to former Black Sabbath alumni Ian Gillan, Glenn Hughes and Tony ‘The Cat’ Martin, we’ve divided this one into the Ozzy and Dio eras. Discounting the 28-second instrumental Embryo from Master Of Reality, the least listened to song from the former incarnation is the grungy, Bill Ward-sung Swinging The Chain (891K streams) from 1978’s ill-starred Never Say Die! – fitting, given it’s the final song on the last album the original line-up put out before firing the singer. For Dio, it’s Buried Alive from 1992’s Heaven And Hell line-up reunion album Dehumanizer album, with has been played 954K times.
Rush – Out Of The Cradle (2002)
The records Rush made in the 90s and early 00s are (mostly) great, but they’re not beloved like their 70s and 80s classics. No surprise that the least popular song comes from 2002’s Vapor Trails – namely bristling closing track Out Of The Cradle, with just over 365,000 listens.
Van Halen – How Many Say I (1998)
Granted, 2012 Dave Lee Roth reunion album A Different Kind Of Truth isn’t on Spotify due to argument between the various Van Halen camps, but it’s any of its tracks are likely to be more popular than How Many Say I, the closing, piano-led track from 1998’s critically mauled Van Halen III album, which totals a trifling 314,000 or so streams. Ironically, given vocalist Gary Cherone bears the brunt of the criticism for that record, How Many Say I features Eddie Van Halen’s one and only lead vocal appearance on an album .
