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(Picture: ES)We all know the feeling, that drop in the pit of the stomach when you realise that your phone has helpfully changed the word ‘fajitas’ to ‘vaginas’. To your boss. Who has kindly offered to pick up lunch. Or there’s that rapidly rising hysteria that occurs when it becomes clear that your mum, like David Cameron, does in fact still think that ‘LOL’ means ‘lots of love’ and has just dropped it like a depth charge at your freshly bereaved aunt on the family Whatsapp. “So sorry Jean, he was a good man LOL”
Now the theatre production company Platform Presents is bringing these moments of cringe-making hilarity to the stage for one night only to raise money for their annual Playwrights Prize, which supports writers with a cash prize and the chance to have their script read and performed.
The one-off production, called The Joy of Text, has been created by the theatre and film director Josie Rourke (Mary Queen of Scots), inspired by an exchange that occurred several years ago between her mother and her brother which she has “cherished” on her phone ever since, and is co-written by Rourke and comedy writer Michael Stranney (8 Out of 10 Cats, Stath Lets Flats) from messages sent to them by friends and family, members of the public and “stuff we just found on the internet”. It will take place live on the evening of Monday April 25, at the Savoy Theatre.
On the night, text exchanges ranging from an accidental coming-out to an epic neighbourhood drama initiated by a discussion about bin lids will be brought to life by a cast of famous faces including Catherine Tate, Denise Gough, Dougray Scott, Indira Varma, Iwan Rheon, Tamsin Greig, Nicholas Pinnock, Pearl Mackie, Aki Omoshaybi and Pippa Bennett-Warner, with more names to be announced in the coming week.
Tickets will cost from £20. The Platform Presents Playwrights Prize was founded in 2018. In 2021, 764 plays were entered by writers across the world, from London to New York to Melbourne and this year there were 1,147 entries. The prize is judged by a theatre industry panel that typically includes writers, producers, directors and actors.
The winner of the 2018 prize, Leah Gasson, has since found agency representation as a writer and her play, That Awful Sound, is being developed as a feature. Anoushka Warden, who won in 2021 with My Dad’s A C****, is in conversation with a theatre, and has just signed a deal for publication of her first novel, I’m F***ing Amazing. “This year it feels more important than ever to do everything we can to get theatre and new and young careers back on their feet,” said Platform Presents’ producer Bella Macpherson.
To whet your appetite for the show, here are three of our favourite exchanges:
Bereavement leave
GERRY Hello Andy, I’m going to have to take some time off work if that’s ok. My Aunt who I care for passed away last night. I have moved any meetings this week to next and Jane said she’ll cover anything that comes up. Please accept my apologies. I will try to be back for Monday.
ANDY Of corpse. I’m sorry for your loss.
Sorry autocorrect I meant of corpse.
Sorry Corpse.
I’m so sorry. My phone keeps changing it.
Corpse. I’m so sorry. Take as long as you need.
WTF Mum!
ANNABELLE I got a 2:1!!!!!
MUM WTF! So proud of you.
ANNABELLE Mum, do you know what WTF means?
MUM Yes Thank You Very Much. It means: Wow That’s Fantastic. And it is, Annabelly. BIG KISS BIG KISS
ANNABELLE Thanks, Mum. Love you.
Google/fondle
MUM Just so you know, your Dad and I fondled each other last night and nothing came up
EMILY Jesus Mum what the hell? Why would you tell me that?
MUM Whoops! Googled. Sorry We googled ourselves last night and nothing came up.
EMILY Right ok but you probs shouldn’t do that.
MUM Do what? Google or fondle, Emily?
EMILY Ok never text me again
