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Pedestrian.tv
Pedestrian.tv
National
Michael Di Iorio

The Jeff Bezos Dick Rocket Prematurely Ejacu— Exploded

Billionaire without a soul Jeff Bezos‘ cock rocket splooged
erection propellant 10-minute space tours ejaculating shaft Interstellar reportedly said on Monday The Mandalorian

The post The Jeff Bezos Dick Rocket Prematurely Ejacu— Exploded appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .

exploded mid-air after experiencing some complications with its . Nobody was onboard. It’s no secret that every billionaire wants to leave this planet behind so they can become emperor of the galaxy, but those ambitions are pointless if none of their rockets can actually make it into space. Bezos’ rocket company Blue Origin launched the dick rocket into the sky as part of the New Shepard program. Just to jot your noggin, the New Shepard rockets are the ones he’s been doing with. This flight here was probably just a test, as it was done using a rocket designed to hold nothing but experiments. The capsule with the experiments in it can be seen separating from the main rocket once things go awry. It then parachutes itself to the ground and… lands with a huge slam. I’m pretty sure if a human was in that escape pod they’d just shatter like a LEGO character. Then again what do I know, I haven’t even watched yet. You can watch the vid for yourself here: “It appears we’ve experienced an anomaly with today’s flight. This wasn’t planned,” the launch commentary. The Federal Aviation Administration reported that there were no injuries or damages caused by the rocket exploding. I feel like an escape pod full of experiments might have a safer time than a human body, but again, what do I know? I haven’t even seen . Something tells me there’s going to be a few rich people sweating in their Armani boots before they take to the skies in a Bezos rocket. Could we maybe be using our money to fix this dying planet we’re on instead of trying so desperately to leave it? No? Alright. Keep making dick rockets.
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