Gruesome horror on screen is definitely having a moment. We’ve had the Daisy Edgar-Jones film Fresh (in which Sebastian Stan plays a serial dater with a penchant for selling his victims’ flesh); the spine-chilling Smile and umpteenth seasons of American Horror Story.
But what’s that, I hear you say? You want more? Well, good news: Prime Video’s latest TV show serves it up in spades. Based on the hit drama podcast of the same name, The Horrors of Dolores Roach is for all those who have sat back and thought: what if Sweeney Todd was remade in the present day, but dialled up to 11?
The eight-part series retains the bloody spirit of the audio original, rinsing all the bleak potential out of the gritty New York setting and protagonist— the indomitable Dolores Roach (better known as “Magic Hands” for her massage capabilities).
Played by Justina Machado, Dolores is back in Washington Heights after spending the past 16 years in prison. She’s gone straight: as she tells her friends, she’s “not doing that shit anymore.” But rather more ominously, she adds, “Nobody is ever gonna take anything away from me ever again.”
No surprise, things have changed while she’s been away. The area’s once-thriving Latino community has faded, leaving a Starbucks-ified, sanitised neighbourhood in its place. To make things worse, Dolores’ old boyfriend Dominic— the reason Dolores ended up in jail, after transporting drug money on his behalf once in her early 20s— has vanished.
Reconnecting with an old stoner friend, Luis (Alejandro Hernandez), she finds newfound stability giving massages for cash in the basement of his dingy empanada shop. This is “where the magic happens”... except maybe not the kind of magic you were thinking. Soon, it becomes one of the most dangerous places in Washington Heights as Dolores’ massages turn deadly.
The Horrors of Dolores Roach is a horror show, without doubt. But it is also a series that delves into issues of race, gentrification, and cultural cohesion in interesting and gripping ways. The tipping point for this whole murderous rampage is Luis being threatened with eviction by landlord Mr Pearlman (Marc Maron), who wants to “bring in people who have a higher standard of living,” aka “white people”.
Naturally, it doesn’t take long for shit to hit the fan, and “Magic Hands Dolores” is driven to extremes in order to survive. Taking Mr Pearlman onto her table, a massage swiftly turns into a bloody massacre. Left with his body and limited options, Luis and Dolores are past the point of no return, making bad choices, big Sweeney Todd style ones in the form of densely filled (human) empanadas. Let insanity reign.
It’s interesting to see the number of people-eating-people dramas gracing our screens as of late. Sure, Yellowjackets was grim and Fresh was a gross, gastronomic nightmare, but watching Luis dice and mince Mr Pearlman’s human flesh and serve it to his son is enough to make me want to go full raw vegan.
As Dolores welcomes more victims onto the massage table, things get even more obscene. Take one particularly stomach-churning scene, where Luis suspends each lifeless body-part from the shower curtain, blood quickly soaks through the bathmat.
And of course, business booms. People love empanadas and are hungry for more. Watch out Dragons, this double act may be heading your way with an (deep breath) exciting new business venture.
At times, the series feels a little overstuffed. Much like Luis’ empanadas, it’s meaty but sags midway through, veering from comic to horrifying and back again. It’s also hard to grasp the timeline of the events that take place, which pinball the watcher from Dolores’ life before jail, to after, and the present day.
“Dominic set me up. He threw me under the bus and sacrificed me,” she continues to moan and groan seven episodes deep. For a self-proclaimed “hard ass bitch”, Dolores really excels in the woe-is-me dramatics. Sure, Dominic’s disappearance has been traumatic, but when will she finally put his ass on the menu?
All in all, Dolores Roach feels slightly half-baked. If the show gets a second series, I really hope it moves away from being just a tale of how two disenfranchised people find connection in the weirdest of circumstances. Maybe in the future, they’ll be able to take bigger risks, come out of the shadows of Louis’ basement... and hopefully take empanadas off the menu for good.
