Next week is the last episode with Mawaan Rizwan, Tracy-Ann Oberman, Sophie Morgan and Ellie Goulding (who from the looks of the trailer shares an affinity for clutching her face like Giuseppe from last year). They’ll be combating marble cakes, roly polys and biscuit heroes - with likely mixed results. We’ll see you then! x
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It clearly meant a lot to Ben, too, due to his family’s connection to cancer. Remember you can donate here, if you’re able.
Another really close week in the tent. It could have gone any way, to be fair. Surprised they haven’t come up with a celebrity champion of champions series, but maybe we also shouldn’t give them any ideas.
This week's winner is ...
Ben Miller! It was perhaps a given after his early handshake (shudder), though the other bakers put up a strong fight during the Showstopper!
A good point from Noel – nothing touched the floor this week, so that’s certainly an improvement on last time where the judges definitely digested some carpet.
Really hard again to call the winner of this week’s Bake Off. Mo really impressed the judges but Katherine made “one of the best cakes they have ever tasted.”
Katherine’s looks really good! “One of the best cakes we’ve ever tasted”, says Prue. I swear if Paul shakes her hand I will throw my laptop through my television.
“One of the best cakes we’ve ever tasted - it’s perfect!” said Prue. High praise indeed for @Katherine_Kelly’s ‘Marzipan Campervan’ Showstopper! #GBBO pic.twitter.com/binHg69BTs
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) April 12, 2022
Despite how it looks, Ben’s smashed it hasn’t he? It’s unusual for a fruit cake to appear in a celeb special as they need a long, low baking time.
If only Lord Featherington from Bridgerton was a baker not a gambler! Here’s @ActualBenMiller’s ‘Robin Hood’s Bay Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/ARC8QSHz7e
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) April 12, 2022
Mo is living proof that any baker can be saved by a good recipe!
I can’t honestly criticise Mo, considering the time that I attempted a tennis court.
Mo’s ‘Football Dreams’ Showstopper. No jumpers for goalposts required. #GBBO @Mo_Farah pic.twitter.com/9GhX6MeGgX
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) April 12, 2022
“I have a lot of nuts”, brags Motsi. “My goodness, you certainly do”, says Prue, with her mouth full.
Motsi’s ‘First Footsteps on The Dance Floor’ Showstopper. What a cha-cha-charming piece of baking! #GBBO @Motsi_Mabuse pic.twitter.com/aTXw0o2bUO
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) April 12, 2022
On to the judging…
My money’s on Ben to take this one home …
I’m impressed by Ben’s pole dancing seagulls, though his cottages look more like miniature lipsticks.
Fondant figures! Drink!
The slop sound as Mo flipped his cake over was ASMR.
Basically, bring back KSI.
I shall never recover. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/VEIFpVrOvD
— michael chakraverty (@mschakraverty) March 30, 2021
This is a bit slow, isn’t it? It feels like a normal series episode rather than a celeb one. Give me carnage! Give me breakdowns!
Katherine Kelly should get Star Baker for the names of her bakes this episode alone. “Marzipan Campervan” is a lyrical delight.
I’ve never quite understood the concept of “double” chocolate”. Am I being short-changed by single chocolate?!
If this was Strictly, they’d have filmed a VT of Motsi visiting her local zoo and being inspired to reflect on her upbringing by a sleeping flamingo.
For Motsi’s concept for her cake alone, will the judges please reveal their scores: 10! 10! 10! 10!
Mo is having another espresso? Really?!
“Going on what we’ve seen so far from the bakers, I think we could have four fantastic Showstoppers”, suggests Prue, who yesterday was served meringue slop and raw biscuits by Motsi.
My childhood memory was being on CBBC, and Holly Willoughby giving me a Valentine’s Day card from my then girlfriend, four months before I came out as gay. That’s really hard to depict in a cake.
The Showstopper challenge dartboard has spoken!
The bakers must make a spectacular 3D cake which depicts a precious childhood memory. Asking for it to be 3D seems a bit excessive, considering it’d be hard to make a cake in only two dimensions.
Another gutting reminder of how cancer causes so many loved ones to leave us too soon. If you wish to donate, please head directly to the Stand Up To Cancer website.
Matt: “Have you ever won anything, Mo?”
Can a word become a Forbidden Ingredient?
4. Motsi (because they were the wrong shape and needed longer in the oven!). 3. Ben (because his bake needed longer in the oven!!). 2. Katherine (guess what?! Her bake needed longer in the oven!!!) 1. Mo.
I feel a bit sorry for the bakers. They received negative reviews about their biscotti being a bit soft but they only had just over an hour to bake them (twice!) in the first place! Hardly fair.
“An unusual shape”, “Good drizzling”, “A little soft in the middle”. All reviews from ex-lovers of mine.
Time for judging. Who made biscotti and who did bis-not-i?
Yes, Mum. This really is my job.
“I’ve ruined the suede, darling” complains Ben as he mops icing off his loafers. Ah, Celeb Bake Off.
Thus far, via the medium of Katherine Kelly, we’ve learned that Scott is more of a spreader than a piper. The more you know, the more you realise you don’t know…
Katherine Kelly has never piped anything in her life! To be honest I’ve tried piping and so little cream came out of the end, technically I have never piped either.
The fourth wall has been broken so many times by Motsi that I fear it shall never be repaired.
“Be calm. Look like it is happening.” God I love Motsi so much.
Ben and Motsi appear to be copying each other, which is a shame because they’re both wrong. Whatever cutting on the bias means, it’s definitely not that.
“Think after nine minutes we would have some action down there.” A frustration I share, Katherine.
Ben’s unsure how long his sausage should be, Mo’s sausage is too sticky, and Katherine’s giving hers a little massage to make it grow.
Mo and Noel should know better – it isn’t eXpresso, it’s eSpresso. *sighs with middle-to-upper class pomposity*.
A rare camera shot into the bench drawer there! It’s like the producers raided the Lakeland depot – a veritable treasure trove of baking accessories. My favourite was the useless – but exquisite – wooden lemon juicer.
Fun facts you only learn about celebrities from watching episodes of Celebrity Bake Off: Ben Miller has never heard of a biscotti.
“I like a few failures”, says Prue, summing up my dating history.
Fun facts you learn about Michael from watching episodes of Celebrity Bake Off: I think biscotti are overrated. As Prue says, they can last for months, but that’s only because nobody wants to eat them.
Fun facts you only learn about celebrities from watching episodes of Celebrity Bake Off: Katherine Kelly has never eaten a biscotti but has seen them “in coffee shops.”
The technical is ... A batch of 18 lemon and pistachio biscotti, which they have to bake in just over an hour.
It is making me think of this tweet I saw the other day.
I’m going to start a rumour that Paul doesn’t wash his hands after he goes for a wee. That way bakers will start to recoil away from his grubby mitts and my sanity will be saved.
There is nothing more to be said than has already been said. Ludicrous.
when paul gives out handshakes for attendance #GBBO pic.twitter.com/QVSgz1L3j6
— michael chakraverty (@mschakraverty) April 12, 2022
HANDSHAKE! Poor Michael. He’s died. That handshake killed him.
It’s a shame she didn’t bake the mango herself as it’s the only part that succeeded. That said, I did like the little glitter ball she added for a little class.
The way Motsi broke the fourth wall when Paul complimented the taste of her bake’s mango.
Katherine’s bake is less of a Bang, Bang, Party Meringue, and more of a Fizzle, Fine, Pass Me The Wine, isn’t it?
Michael, stop crying. He has not dished them out yet.
It’s time for the judging (/handshakes)!
Motsi to win, right?
With all the love in the world, no <3
“Who sets the standards on a roll?!” asks Motsi. Probably the judges, I reckon.
Oh god. And now Motsi’s bake has now completely disintegrated, so in a blind panic she has cut her roulade into three different piles and is just dolloping on cream. As she’s from Strictly, she has also added a disco ball. “It’s all about the taste,” she says.
“Now I’m in trouble,” says Motsi, approximately an hour after her bake first got into trouble.
I withdraw my early support for Motsi, who is now rolling a pile of sick into a sausage.
Without anybody asking, Katherine declares: “this is my favourite bit, spreading”. I prefer piping, personally.
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No Mango! Mango Italiano, Go, Go, Go!
(sorry to Dean Martin for the song butchery)
Very much so. I find this series surprisingly uneven. Some episodes are full of energy and television gold, but there are episodes where the atmosphere feels a little bit flat. Might it be the bakers’ nerves coming through?
Mo’s face seems to be cycling through different reaction memes, while nothing particularly interesting happens anywhere in the tent. Quite a subdued challenge, isn’t it?
Ben’s flavours sound the best on paper – but here’s betting he overdoes the rose flavouring and it tastes like soap.
Every second syllable uttered by Motsi is a giggle. What a ray of sunshine – and Ben Miller has captured my heart. He seems quite earnest, doesn’t he?
Oh yes, I do remember PizzaGate. You deserved everything you got.
On another note, I’ve been endlessly impressed by the top-level snacks BTL this series. That Basque cheesecake has been on my list for a while ...
Pizza is overrated. I’ve tweeted this before. It did not go well.
good morning pic.twitter.com/E7qyiEIgZD
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 6, 2022
I think strawberries and cream are overrated. So there. Any other unpopular food opinions anybody would like to share?
I swear a third of this show consists of celebrities not being able to fit the bowl on their electric mixer correctly.
The first two minutes are quite an early point for the Forbidden Ingredient to be used, yet here we are. At which point, my threat to expel bakers now prove empty (and unrealistic considering this was filmed last September). I shall just sit here, frowning at my television. That’ll teach them.
MANGO ALERT! *blows cobwebs off old abandoned fictional spreadsheet*
Motsi is peeling a mango with a knife – like a heathen. The educated among us know to use a potato peeler!
I have a feeling Katherine did not write her recipe. She looks thoroughly bemused - the only familiar element being the bottle of limoncello.
The signature is... a beautifully decorated meringue roulade with a perfect swirl filling.
They have just 90 minutes!
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Prue has come dressed as a kaleidoscope.
Both Prue and Noel are having a contest: WHOSE OUTFIT IS THE LOUDEST?
I predict Motsi will be television gold. I must say I’m a little confused by her cardigan’s collar, though. Seems quite spikey around the throat.
“Four celebrities enter the tent. Their task? To tackle three challenges set by Paul and Prue, all in the name of charity – but only one of them … won’t receive a handshake”.
I made some miso white chocolate cookies today and I ... may have to alter my previous position *hangs head*
If a baker includes mango in their bakes this week, they shall be expelled both from the tent and from our hearts. Those are the rules!
As we went with a previous Forbidden Ingredient last week in the form of matcha, let’s continue the theme, risk it all and mention that which we all dread… mangos. If you’re new to the blog (hello!), this harkens back to a dark time (2020) where mangos cropped up each and every week, to our collective consternation.
Let’s set the bingo for this week:
- Prue dressed as a lava lamp
- Fondant figures misbehaving
- A celebrity unable to use a basic kitchen implement
- Paul’s infamous handshake promiscuity
- Michael being incensed by the aforementioned infamous handshake promiscuity
- Armageddon (increasingly likely)
Of course, all of these bakers are participating to raise some much needed funds for Stand Up To Cancer. Michael and I are donating part of our fee to the charity, and you can donate by heading to their website.
This week we have Olympic gold medalist Sir Mo Farah, actor and comedian Ben Miller, actress Katherine Kelly plus Strictly judge and person we all most want to be friends with Motsi Mabuse.
No, Michael didn’t hit the keyboards with his fist – that is the actual abbreviation. Welcome along. If you missed last week’s episode of Bake Off: Hollywood dished out a handshake to a bake that didn’t deserve it for the third week in a row. We also found out that Annie Mac was once a chambermaid and also isn’t able to pronounce the word “kneading” for some reason.
Move over mee-cro-wav-ay.
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) April 5, 2022
Here is how Annie Mac pronounces the word “kneading.”
pic.twitter.com/HKmwnAWW9A
Hello, happy Tuesday and welcome back to TSUTCBOGLB (are we sure the abbreviation won’t catch on?). Myself and Scott are here to steer everyone through the choppy waters of celebrities encountering ovens, chopping boards and whisks for what appears to be the first time in their lives.
