Coming next week … they have to bake masks for some reason!
Thank you so much for reading. Who would have thought that baking with soy sauce would not be a bad idea?! Who would have thought?!
Updated
And the baker leaving the tent is … Will!
Poor Will. Clearly, the nerves of being in the famous tent got the better of him. It only takes a couple of bad challenges. But I bet Rebs is counting her lucky stars that she gets another opportunity to prove herself (it isn’t bread week next week – this word use is coincidental.)
This week’s Star Baker is … Janusz!
It was always going to be Janusz. Not only were his bakes good but he also tried to get Prue drunk at every opportunity. I also like to think he won this week because he has a sausage dog called Nigel.
Janusz’s bake cannot be faulted and is deemed by Matt to be a “work of art.”
Janusz’s TX1 showstopper Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions
I would say that Will is the most likely to leave the tent now, as every level of his bake is overbaked. Rebs might have had a lucky save here.
William’s TX1 showstopper Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions
Dawn’s house is accused of being a bit wonky, so she responded that the house has subsidence issues. Fabulous save.
Dawn’s TX1 showstopper Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions
Abdul’s bake apparently needed more mango, according to Prue. I bet readers of this Guardian liveblog would beg to differ!
Abdul’s TX1 showstopper Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions
Maxy’s bake is a little rough around the edges (aren’t we all?) but thankfully the flavours are in there. I reckon she is through to next week.
Maxy’s TX1 Showstopper Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions
James’ house is extremely Scottish. It is also very “claggy” according to Paul, a word that is Scottish in origin so I reckon job done.
Rebs has added a coconut-infused rum rain on to her bake. Unfortunately her bake is a little overbaked but otherwise it got good reviews. But is it enough to get her through to next week?
Rebs showstopper Photograph: Mark Bourdillon/Love Productions
It’s the Showstopper Challenge judging!
I have to say that there are some delightful bakers this year. Maxy, Syabira, Sandro, Abdul and of course Carole ❤️stand out to me as particular favourites.
It’s a 90 minute special tonight, which is fine but my word the number of ad breaks.
And in things you only witness on Bake Off, we have had our first phallus of the series!
“It isn’t what you think it is. It’s a coconut tree!” laughs Syabira.
A work in progress coconut tree like no other. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/knoXf0zdsl
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 13, 2022
I admire Rebs for just scooping out the bit of her cake that isn’t right then replacing it with another. The “fuck it” approach.
Use the kitchen spray full of vodka! That would do the trick.
Rebs: “It’s essential to get the sponge right today.”
*Rebs’ sponge completely fails to be right today*
Her bake appears to be underdone in the middle. I hate to say it, but unless she manages to claw it back, I reckon she’ll be leaving the tent.
OK who had this on their *weird ingredient* bingo card?
Abdul forgot to turn his oven on and it’s been on the fan setting for the past 45 minutes! Abdul! You are supposed to forget to turn the oven during the first Signature! That’s the tradition!
God, Carole is just perfect. “NICE BIG NUTS,” she just yelled. Followed by: “This is a coffee and walnut. Who doesn’t like coffee and walnuts?” A pause. “Unless you don’t like coffee and you’re allergic to nuts.”
I would bake my university accommodation, because if it ended up looking grim I would just say that was how it really looked (it’s true.)
If this bake were an episode of Grand Designs, it wouldn’t be finished before Christmas, the windows would go missing and halfway through the challenge someone would get pregnant.
Am I right in thinking the challenges seem a little easier than previous years? Last year, they had to make an anti-gravity illusion cake, and the year before that the infamous celebrity hero cake busts. This time, they merely have to smother a cake in buttercream.
No doubt all of these houses will be a nightmare to keep warm this winter.
They have to bake A 3D REPLICA OF YOUR OWN HOME MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF CAKE!
“It should look like somewhere where you lived that has some special meaning to you.”
Absolutely bananas and we’re only one episode in. Simply incredible.
It is time for the Showstopper Challenge …
*blows dust off dartboard full of random words that Paul and Prue throw darts at to decide what they should bake*
We’ve all been thinking this too.
Syabira can certainly bake. And she is also an utter delight. So endearing.
Our Technical Challenge winner Syabira sums up what it means to have Bake Off back. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/u7lC1b467I
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 13, 2022
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Here’s the ranking. 12. James (“not enough cream in the middle” – steady, you.) 11. Rebs (“very claggy” – same). 10. Maxy. 9. Will (“All over the place” – same). 8. Carole. 7. Janusz. 6. Abdul. 5. Maisim. 4. Kevin 3. Dawn 2. Sandro 1. Syabira.
You probably have no idea who any of these people are so if that meant nothing to you I don’t blame you.
Paul: “This could have been straighter” – me to myself before I came out.
I would say that Rebs is definitely at the bottom, considering the height also makes it shortest.
And now … it’s the technical challenge judging.
Prayers for the amount of calories Paul and Prue are about to consume.
James is decorating his bake in a style to impress the judges … not realising that it is supposed to suit a very specific brief!
Meanwhile, the consensus between all you lot is that red velvet cake deserves to get in the bin (not literally, we care about food waste.)
A lot of the bakers are sitting down in front of their ovens. As James is wearing a kilt I probably wouldn’t recommend him doing so, unless he wants this to turn into an unintentional episode of Naked Attraction.
Meanwhile, it’s a disaster for Rebs. After an underwhelming Signature, her red velvet cake has sunk in the tins after being taken out of the oven too early. She’s pressing on, but I’m worried.
Syabira’s first ever bake was a red velvet cake. Sandro baked a red velvet cake just the other week. And Dawn made a red velvet cake 30 years ago when “under the influence of alcohol.”
I’m backing Dawn.
A lot of the bakers are talking about how the array of ingredients is like a chemical reaction. “I think Diana Ross sang that,” responds Carole, not realising that it was actually Chain Reaction. It is for this reason alone why I love her.
And a huge improvement for Bake Off 2022 … the instructions are no longer in Comic Sans!
Now it is time for the technical challenge … a red velvet cake.
The red velvet cake needs to make a “good impression on the eyes.” So like Sandro, then.
Syabira was the nearest we were going to get to a handshake today, withdrawn because the bakes could have been neater. Will is firmly at the bottom for his (Prue’s words) ‘disappointing’ bake. And Janusz has made Prue legless. Well done everyone!
Carole’s Signature comes with a bee, Abdul’s Signature comes with a mini trowel and Maisim’s Signature, having been cut too warm, comes with regret.
Maisim cutting her sponge while too warm was ‘fatal’ according to Prue. I knew it! (I didn’t.)
I think it will be inevitable that we will see Nigel the sausage dog in cake form this series.
It’s the Signature Judging … starting with Maxy.
And Paul is moaning that her mini sandwiches are too big, which feels nonsensical.
into our mouths please. possibly with a mixer in a different spray, of course.
Carole is now naming her mini sandwich cakes “Margaret,” “Mini” and “Maureen.” Why are we wasting time with 29 more challenges when we could just give her the trophy now?!??!!!
This is now a Compost Carole fan account #gbbo pic.twitter.com/GlHa2W1Ydx
— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) September 13, 2022
Disaster for Maisim though, who cut her mini sandwiches warm then curdled her buttercream. But a double disaster for Will, who curdled his buttercream twice.
Unbelievably there are still more bakers to meet. We’ve got Syabira, a 32-year-old cardiovascular researcher. And Janusz who owns a sausage dog called Nigel. A real range.
He is the only one who got the memo about filling Prue with booze. And he’s using a kitchen spray full of booze to smother his bake. Surprised Prue isn’t standing there with her mouth open.
And now there’s Dawn, a former project manager who worked for Boris Johnson (oh goodness, she’s proud of this??!!). She likes to entertain younger guests with handmade sugar figurines. I wonder if she ever presented one to Boris as he was painting those cardboard buses.
It has felt like forever but we are *FINALLY* being introduced to Carole. She is known as “Compost Carole” to her gardening friends. She’s a supermarket cashier from Dorset and the name of her Signature bake is “To Bee or not to Bee.” Icon.
Not only is her hair fantastic, a mix of purple, pink and white, but did you just see what her hair was like when she was a child? It was amazing.
Will, a former charity director from London, has not forgotten to turn on his oven. He’s forgotten to turn on his timer! So close, Will, but yet so far.
We’ve still not said hello to all of the bakers. Up next is James, a 25-year-old nuclear scientist from Cumbria, who has achieved a Bake Off first by wearing a kilt in the tent!
Surprised someone hasn’t asked about looking up his kilt to see whether he is a true Scotsman. Give it time. We’re only twelve minutes in.
There’s also Kevin, a 33-year-old music teacher from Lanarkshire, who plays the clarinet, saxophone and flute (me at home swigging a large glass of wine: but does he lindy hop?!?!)
And 18-year-old Maisim from Manchester. She’s the youngest baker in the tent this year.
And Maxy. She’s a 29-year-old architectural assistant from Sweden. I know Michael Chakraverty isn’t here but as she’s using the first mango in this series I know for a fact that wherever he is right now he just shuddered.
Up next is Sandro, a 30-year-old nanny and fitness fanatic from Londom and full disclosure I have been lost in his eyes. I think he’s from London. I misheard as I was searching for his Instagram (his Instagram is here.)
And he’s just made our hearts melt then broken our hearts in one sentence: “When I first saw my partner, every time I saw her, I always gave her a white rose.”
Of course he’s already loved up!
We’re now being introduced to the bakers one by one. First up are Rebs, a 23-year-old masters student from County Antrim (follow her on Instagram here), and electronic engineer Abdul (who you can follow on Instagram here).
Abdul not only bakes, but lindy hops in his spare time. Ah, the Bake Off tradition of having contestants with increasingly bewildering hobbies because baking, for some reason, is never enough.
But let’s be honest, no Bake Off introduction will ever beat Sura taking her cat for a walk.
just thinking about Queen Sura walking her cat #GBBO pic.twitter.com/3C5P1KMLYl
— michael chakraverty (@mschakraverty) September 23, 2020
The first signature of Bake Off 2022 … is 12 identical mini sandwich cakes!
Matt Lucas said they only have one hour to bake them, before saying that they have actually got another hour. It’s a joke, apparently.
Bake Off would never give them an insufficient amount of time. They would never!
Most of this episode looks as if it will consist of people being rather nervous, but who will be so nervous they forget to turn on the oven during the Signature?! A coveted Bake Off tradition.
And it looks as if in the Showstopper they have to bake a 3D cake house, which reminds me of the time Candice Brown baked an edible pub and Mary Berry was asked whether she wanted to eat a bit of carpet.
She replied: “Yes, I’ll eat a bit of carpet.”
"I'll eat a bit of carpet". #GBBO pic.twitter.com/I4Td8iy1Or
— j (@TayloredBites) August 31, 2016
After a two-year break due to the pandemic (which resulted in the series being filmed in a ‘bubble’) Bake Off has moved back to its regular Welford Park. Fun fact: that kid next to the oven in the opening titles of Bake Off is now more than 18 years old.
I am backing Carole because of her hair. Her wonderful, stunning, mesmerising hair.
(She’s the one with the pink hair below)
Here’s a handy who’s who of all our new bakers in the Bake Off Tent. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/SbfnrXYlsY
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 13, 2022
It feels as if they did that Star Wars parody just to call Prue “Pruebacca.”
I just want to clarify that this is not a complaint.
Prue-bacca. Genius. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/cp3xpjSokv
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 13, 2022
What time are we predicting the first mango of the series? (if you’re new to this liveblog, this is a thing.)
In case you have forgotten the infamous Cake Bust Showstopper from 2020, let me remind you…
The David Bowie Showstopper - more Gobbling King than Goblin King. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/j43FmQbJG4
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
Updated
Shortly we’ll be saying hello to 12 brand new bakers in the tent! Say your hellos in the comments below and most importantly, share what snacks you’ll be eating while watching.
Hello and welcome to the Guardian liveblog of The Great British Bake Off 2022!
I’m TV critic and broadcaster Scott Bryan and I’ll be your guide through all the highs, lows and innuendos in this new series. Thank you so much for joining.
After a difficult and rather surreal week for this country, it’s a real comfort to have a little bit of normality back – and of course a whole new batch of bakers.
I’m afraid that Guardian liveblogger and ex-Bake Off contestant Michael Chakraverty won’t be joining us this series, as the episodes clash with his work commitments. But never fear, I’ll be here for the next 10 weeks to provide a steady mix of enthusiasm, analysis and thoroughly niche Bake Off facts (such as: Noel Fielding has now hosted more episodes of Bake Off on Channel 4 than Mel and Sue ever did on the BBC.)
The first week of Bake Off is Cake Week – some things never change. Will it be better than the time the bakers failed to make 3D cake versions of their favourite celebrities? We live in hope.
I Photoshop paddington into a movie or TV show until I forget: Day 502 pic.twitter.com/19WjWnjKZA
— Jaythechou (@jaythechou) July 24, 2022
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