And next week… a technical without any instructions.
Honestly, make it stop.
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Anyway, thank you as always for reading this and for all of your lovely comments. See you next week.
And the people (!) leaving the tent are … James and Rebs!
A surprise for James. His constant enthusiasm, the fact that he wore his tie over his forehead for this week for no reason and of course the fact that he has baked items inspired by his own tattoos. I knew this wasn’t his week but thought he was going to last a little longer in the tent.
And Rebs looked proper crestfallen, here. She has tried her hardest throughout, especially since she came back, but it never seemed to end up her way. Bless her though, she’s seems to be a lovely individual.
Star Baker is... Maxy
That means Janusz is joint with Maxy at the top.
Dawn is quickly becoming the underdog of the series. Her bake is described as “heaven” by Prue and the coffee levels are perfect. Dawn looks like she is on the verge of tears of joy.
Dawn’s ‘Blooming’ Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/3C7ePOacfX
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
So who are we thinking could go this week? Remember, it could be two. I’m thinking James, Rebs and Carole are particularly at risk.
Maxy could potentially get another Star Baker this week. A great combination of flavours and decoration.
Rebs has made a ‘rustic wedding cake’ so full of booze Prue can’t stop coughing.
Sandro’s cake is an arty, moustache decorated, strong boozy delight.
Sandro’s ‘It’s a Fiesta’ Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/3WIhjmu7XN
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
Abdul’s cake has got a bit of a lean (don’t we all, Paul) but has got a decent review.
Abdul’s ‘Day of the Dead’ Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/Ml5WCNi8Gn
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
Janusz got the “neat as a pin” catchphrase from Prue, yet the flavours are too firm. Perhaps an insufficient time in this challenge for the cake to absorb the milk properly.
Janusz’s ‘Fruity Horchata’ Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/IXoRhYUiAW
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
Carole’s has compliments on the cake itself, but has been overpowered by flavours.
Carole’s ‘Pastel De Chocolate Mexicano’ Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/sGYVa90bui
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
Kevin’s got a kick and a few lumps, but he manages to get by.
Kevin’s ‘Meci-Cocoa Pyramid’ Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/qa7P4DPc3J
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
James’ cake has “a few issues.” Don’t we all, Paul.
And now it is time for the showstopper judging.
Starting with Syabira, who was worried that her tres leches cake had not soaked in the milk. However, the sweetcorn came through! It’s not all bad! She’s through to next week.
Syabira’s Sweetcorn & Cinnamon Tres Leches Cake. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/MP7RQWn7Up
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 4, 2022
Exactly, a return to simple bakes is something I think viewers crave. That’s why this doesn’t make any sense.
Some of these cakes look absolutely marvellous.
Janusz and Sandro are particular favourites.
Oh no, Syabira’s cake did not soak well enough, and now she is in official tears.
Abdul throws himself towards her workbench saying “your bake is going to taste amazing” as she tries to regain her composure. First time we’ve seen her wobble on this show.
Meanwhile Carole is trying to “deflower.” Good for her.
Janusz: “I am the queen of cutting the tops off.”
Sounds painful.
MANGO ALERT! Janusz is using frozen mango in his tres leches cake. I’m rather relieved, because it means that my MANGO WATCH feature can live to fight another day.
So it turns out that the judges have asked for a minimum of four levels of sponge even though, traditionally, these cakes are not stacked on top of each other.
Why do they persist with making everything so unnecessarily complicated?
The negative public reaction to the chocolate on the garibaldi alone was nearly as bad as the mini-budget.
And the technical including them cooking refried beans? This is a mess.
Not content with some of her out there concepts, Syabira is now baking a sweetcorn sponge, which is not conventional by any stretch of the imagination.
I don’t know why she gets doubted when she often knocks it out of the park.
Matt: “It is the Day of the Dead. Do you want me to get you some poison?”
Abdul: “I think on the Day of the Dead you honour the people who have passed away rather than make them pass.”
I guess the challenge is whether four hours is enough time for the cake to fully absorb the milk while also not becoming too soggy.
And the Signature was a big old mess because it felt way too short, right?
And the showstopper challenge is a tres leches cake (essentially a milk cake)
It has to consist of four layers of milk-soaked sponge and must be inspired by Mexico.
And let us never speak of the tacos again.
YEP, you’re reading The Guardian.
what is going on with this show today?
No stop, this programme has ruined my brain #GBBO pic.twitter.com/inU6czWDto
— Ryan Love (@RyanJL) October 4, 2022
Officially worried for Carole for like the third consecutive week.
But Maxxxxxxxy! Another triumph. It appears to be the battle for Maxy, Sandro and Janusz at the top, and Rebs, Carole and James at the bottom. And of course, the overwhelming sense that two people could be leaving the tent this week.
10. Carole (pretty bad review). 9. Rebs. 8. James. 7. Janusz. 6. Abdul. 5. Dawn. 4. Kevin. 3. Sandro. 2. Syabira. 1. Maxy!
Sandro is so pleased for Maxy. Their chemistry is just bouncing along.
Syabira has good reviews, Sandro has overcooked but the filling is done, Rebs and Dawn contains too much salt, while Carole’s is too thick.
Can we please talk more about Kevin who has used two avocados on either side to hold the tacos together?
Nearly all of this judging has consisted of everyone being criticised for having too much filling, when it’s a taco. A taco!
Honestly, you go to Mexico once and you become an expert.
And now it is time for the technical judging.
We’re lost in the middle of an episode of MasterChef. Come save us.
If you have no idea what I was on about with that Claire from Come Dine With Me, would highly recommend watching this during one of the adbreaks.
Shame he will never be able to afford a house now. Sad!
Highly recommend putting Bake Off with the subtitles on.
I love Compost Carole so much #GBBO https://t.co/QU6DenVUYV pic.twitter.com/F53PSt9pez
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 4, 2022
Carole calling guacamole “GUACOMOLO” is my sexuality now.
Half the bakers don’t seem to know how long they should cook steak for.
If only there was someone from a sister Channel 4 show who could help them with this?
if only there was someone from another channel 4 show who could advise the bakers how to best cook their steaks #GBBO. pic.twitter.com/FX30rQsLR9
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 4, 2022
Carole trying to peel an avocado with a peeler is a choice!
Abdul deciding to cook steak for five minutes on each side is a choice!
Carole: “I hope my chilli is not too hot!”
*Carole tips a lorry full of chilli into her bowl with gay abandon.*
Carole: “It is supposed to be a spiced week anyway.”
Personally, I think it is really quite mean not to include instructions on how much spice they should use for the marinated steak. At the end of the day, they aren’t cooks.
Make the tacos. Make the refried beans. Make the guacamole. Easy instructions at least.
Also surreal that Paul made a big thing about the tacos not being overloaded with filling. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a taco that looks like an overwhelmed wheelbarrow.
Overloading them is very much the point.
Oh, they are cooking the fillings. This isn’t Mexican baking. This is cooking.
At least they aren’t making them cook on an open fire too. Still thinking about poor Rahul.
This week’s technical challenge is … eight Mexican tacos.
And it feels like they have come up with the fillings for them too, which is lunacy.
Actually Maxy! “You have a real instinct of what goes with what,” remarks Prue on her conchas.
And Kevin got a good review and decided to be exceedingly Scottish in celebration: “Almost got a handshake. Stingy git.”
Rebs is told that hers is too heavy, Carole’s is underproved and heavy, Abdul’s is too cake-like but Syabira’s is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL … looking. It didn’t get great reviews.
Is anyone going to make it out alive?
Meanwhile Prue criticises Sandro. It is a bit “tight and stiff.”
And then says that James “needs a filling.”
Someone please splash Prue’s face with water. Actually, let’s be honest, mine.
good god #gbbo pic.twitter.com/OTR2wKig3M
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 4, 2022
Now it is time for the Signature judging.
Janusz has a great crack at the top, according to Paul. Look, I’m merely writing down what I am hearing! I am not taking anything out of context! How dare you.
And he’s been criticised for the use of plain flour. The premonition came true! Anyway, even though he got a fairly good review it feels like the unstoppable reign of Janusz might be coming to an end.
While quite a few of the bakes look a little bit burnt or a lot burnt (poor Rebs) Syabira really wasn’t joking when she said that her conchas will look like corn on the cob.
They look absolutely mesmerising. How does she come up with this in her head?
Matt: “Are you worried about your crack?”
Janusz: “No, I am going to cover it.”
Matt: “It is better when the crack is covered, isn’t it?”
*looks to camera*
Yes, you really are reading The Guardian.
Sandro says to his caramel cappuccino bomb thing: “OK baby. Grow for me nicely.”
*All the conchas start fanning themselves furiously in the proving drawer*
James is ‘fondling his balls’, while Carole is ‘looking for her big ones.’
*looks to camera*
Yes, you’re reading The Guardian.
Dawn *samples some chilli, breathes fire and subsequently looks in agony*
Dawn looks at the camera: “I’m making a chilli and chocolate concha.”
Maxy has just pointed out that Janusz is her ‘best mate.’
And now I am reminded why I love this show. It’s all the stuff you imagine when the cameras aren’t on and you realise that a good half of them are friends in real life.
Carole attempting Mexican Week: “I’m making an Anise … Panda Denise?”
Just give her Star Baker. It’s over.
Rebs: “I’ve planned everything right down to the minute.”
Everyone in the Guardian comments section starts typing.
Sandro is doing a “salted caramel cappuccino bomb thing.”
No, that’s not me mishearing and panicking. That’s Sandro panicking.
A delight to see Rebs and Abdul back in the tent. To celebrate, Channel 4 has decided to extend the show by 15 minutes and give us three more ad-breaks! So generous of them.
And has Paul Hollywood been to Mexico recently? Wish he would tell us.
I only want James to bake things based on his own tattoos from now on.
Important reminder: he has a tattoo of a RACCOON and a PANDA.
More updates as we get them.
Syabira’s constant enthusiasm is such a bloody joy. She just throws herself in head first. Nothing ever seems too much for her.
This week she’s baking conchas that not only are full of corn and custard, but they resemble actual mini corn on the cob. Of course they do. She is creative as hell.
Do you call it a cactuses or a cacti? That’s the pressing discussion of the day.
We’re already seeing Janusz being set up for a fall, with Paul pointing out that his ”cactus” conchas contain plain flour so will taste more like cake.
This challenge already feels like it contains more bread than actual bread week.
Also can we not remind ourselves about that Showstopper full of fish in the comments section from last week please? I’ve literally just eaten.
The signature challenge is … pan dulce (AKA an array of Mexican sweet treats)
They have to use a yeasted variety to produce 12 identical tasty buns.
Every baker but Syabira: I know nothing about Mexican baking and I am terrified.
Syabira: I know nothing about Mexican baking and I am looking forward to it.
I mean, the joke is about them not making Mexican jokes this week (whispers) but considering the ‘coming up’ montage involves one of them shaking maracas this does not bode well
It’s Mexican Week on Bake Off!
Me: I hope Matt and Noel don’t resort to using crude Mexican stereotypes and caricatures.
*Bake Off opens with Noel and Matt in sombreros*
A special preview of tonight’s technical.
Every technical challenge in the Bake Off tent:#bakeoff #GBBO #GreatBritishBakeOff pic.twitter.com/sJmrWULnfu
— Sardaran Carol Ahmed (@SardaranCarol) September 27, 2022
Janusz received Star Baker for the second time. The only other person who has been Star Baker so far is Maxy. Surely a Star Baker for Sandro or Syabira is on the cards.
And in MANGO WATCH (a feature where I count the mangoes being used throughout the series) we had no mangoes last week. The total so far in this series is two. I’m actually hoping the bakers use mangoes this week because otherwise it renders this feature utterly useless and it looks weird.
And our COMMENT OF THE WEEK goes to this review of what was supposed to be Bread Week.
Hello and welcome to the Guardian’s Bake Off liveblog. And … It’s Mexican Week!
That’s right, it is one of those weeks that debuts then may disappear without a trace, never to be spoken of again. Who could forget (or remember) German Week, Japanese Week, 80s Week, Forgotten Bakes Week and Festivals Week (a week about festival buns rather than sleeping in a field for five days.)
Last week Abdul and Rebs were unwell, so everyone got a pass through to this week. They all had to bake two sharing-sized pizzas, which was a shock to everyone because who knew you could share them? Matt Lucas and Janusz talked about gay clubs (Janusz probably has free entry for the rest of his life for mentioning the Brighton club Legends) oh and in the Showstopper they had to bake a smörgåstårta (a reminder that I copied and pasted that word from Google because I cannot find those letters on my keyboard.)
