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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Scott Bryan

The Great British Bake Off 2022: episode eight – as it happened

Matt Lucas and Maxy during pastry week.
Matt Lucas and Maxy during pastry week. Photograph: Channel 4 / Love Productions

And what an infuriating episode. It reflected everything that is wrong with Bake Off at the moment: unnecessarily complicated challenges, harsh time constraints and way too many criticisms given by the judges.

Where has the Bake Off that we all like gone?

Yet despite all of that, thank you for reading and for all of your comments. You’ve all been an utter delight, as always.

And Maxy is leaving the tent this week.

It just wasn’t her week. Unthinkable that she is leaving. One of the strongest bakers.

It felt like she was a possible finalist all the way through the competition, but the showstopper just wasn’t enough. And it is level pegging into that semi-final.

Star Baker is... Syabira.

For the third time in a row! Incredible.

might frame this.

The criticisms of the pies being disappointing for the quarter finals just feels so harsh. Where has the supportive feeling gone from this show this year?

Remember, this isn’t MasterChef.

So what do we reckon? After that review, I think that after that review by Paul and Prue, Maxy is going home. Even though she has won Star Baker twice.

It just proves that one bad week is all that it takes.

Could Syabira be getting Star Baker for the third time? She smashed it. If she doesn’t make it through to the final at this rate, it’ll be a huge disappointment.

But unfortunately … I think Maxy has not been able to make it work.

A “raw” comment to Sandro about his pastry! It feels as if he has fallen into the trap of baking too much rather than focusing on each one. There’s a risk that Sandro could be on the chopping block if Maxy manages to wow the judges.

Abdul’s looks a bit “rough and ready” but gets a comment of “spectacular!” on the flavours. The underdog of the season continues to be the underdog of the season, making it through to the next week.

And now the Showstopper judging, starting with Janusz.

Only on Bake Off, would you hear a comment like Paul’s: “This is the sausage meat in the dog’s head.”

Sweating over the fact that Sandro decided not to use a stapler to connect all fourteen pages of his own recipe.

Also sweating that Sandro just said: “I am baking a pear but it has gone pear shaped.”

This is really not Maxy’s week, is it? She forgot to put in a bay leaf into her bake and seems doubtful of her own filling. I can’t believe it, but there’s a real feeling that she is going to be leaving.

Maxy: “I’m making a filo pastry.”

Sandro: “I am baking a pastry with flour and water in it.”

Can we take this opportunity to talk about the time when Bake Off Andrew from 2016 made a workable mechanised pie? And it wasn’t even a Showstopper?

Janusz: “I am making a tribute to my sausage dog called Nigel.”

No sarcastic comment from me. This is perfect.

Prue five minutes ago: “We really want something really ambitious.”

Maxy: “You’re going to make a FILO PASTRY BY YOURSELF?”

Paul: “I am not happy with what the bakers have made so far! There is no room for error!”

The whole purpose of Bake Off is that it is supposed to be warm and supportive, including from the judges. There’s a reason why the X Factor has ended, Paul!

The Showstopper Challenge is to bake a 3D pie scene inspired by your favourite childhood nursery rhyme.

Why not just bake a nice pie? Wouldn’t that be a nicer challenge?

A bad Signature and Technical for Maxy, which puts her in a vulnerable position going into the Showstopper. Here’s hoping she can turn it around. Otherwise a two time Star Baker winner is at risk of leaving the competition altogether.

But Sandro has redeemed himself after his Signature, coming first in the technical!

“Who ate Janusz’s spring roll?” A new eight-part series coming soon wherever you get your podcasts.

And here are the official rankings! 5. Maxy (not enough filling). 4. Syabira. 3. Abdul 2. Janusz. 1. Sandro!

Hilariously, Janusz lost a spring roll between the deep frying and the presentation.

Syabira’s spring rolls contain too many bubbles, Maxy’s are a bit too stodgy and Abdul’s spring rolls contain too many mushrooms.

And it’s the technical judging.

They are expecting eight spring rolls, so good luck to Janusz.

hear hear

Also how ridiculous it is that the bakers have to make the dipping sauces but there is no quantity given on any of the ingredients in these dipping sauces? How would baking expertise help you know how to get dipping sauce ingredients correct?

Prue’s instructions this week are like “Divide the spring rolls’ pastry by π.”

And Syabira reflects on the biggest problem a lot of people have with the technicals: “I don’t know how people can make this in one hour and twenty minutes.”

Truly. Has anyone here actually ever baked a spring roll in the comments?

Now Sandro has gone full “glocky-molo” and is pronouncing mange tout as mange toot!

There’s 29 ingredients, they haven’t told them how much water to put into the pastry (so if they add too much the bubbles will be too big) and they have to cook all of the filling.

Easy!

Now it is time for the technical challenge, where they have to bake spring rolls.

All of the viewers and everyone here in the comments: IS THIS BAKING?

Paul: “Yours were two minutes away from perfection.”

Syabira: “If I had two minutes.”

YES SYABIRA.

Oh boy. No good comments. Janusz ditched the creme pat and as a result has been accused of being boring.

And with Maxy? “Not very appealing to look at,” comments Paul.

Sandro next, who somehow managed to overbake even though he forgot to turn his oven on.

I think it is fair to say that he isn’t going to be getting a handshake.

Now it is time for the signature judging.

Starting with Abdul, who thinks that the best way to present his bake to Paul and Prue is to criticise it whilst they are both looking at it and eating it.

And the we might be a bit more critical comments from the judges have come to fruition, with Paul saying “it’s so pale and so thin. It’s almost a sheet of pastry with some bits on the top” and Prue saying “could we say something nice?”

And it’s not just Sandro who appears to have had their confidence knocked. It’s Maxy too, who ends up criticising her own vol-au-vents height and presentation.

“Look how shit they look!,” she says at the end of the challenge.

At least they can take hold on to the fact that usually by the time we get to the showstopper challenge, nobody can really remember how anyone did during the signature.

Still … it would be u-n-t-h-i-n-k-a-b-l-e if either of them left this week.

Sandro: “It’ll do.”

That has to be the most defeatist thing Sandro has said. He’s been properly knocked out by the oven situation.

At least he’s wearing leather trousers for the viewers, though. Every cloud.

Janusz: “If the bottom is golden, it’s all done.”

Me: *looks to camera *

Also, the fact that Janusz is helping Syabira. It’s pretty much non-stop.

Random things you learn about Bake Off contestants thanks to Noel and Matt’s questioning: Abdul tends to go to bed at 1.30am.

Oh god it is a FORGOT TO TURN YOUR OVEN ON ALERT!

With only half an hour left on the clock, Sandro has just realised that his oven was not switched on properly. He’s managed to make the classic first episode mistake eight weeks late, which is a hell of an achievement.

Also so damn sweet that Janusz is going out of his way to ask Maxy whether his creme pat is too gloopy. Maxy asks him to add some whipped cream into the mixture so it doesn’t get that way.

It feels like everyone has been gelling with each other this series, but everyone loves Janusz.

Janusz: “I’m going to have 12 bottoms and 24 tops.”

Me: *looks to camera*

Don’t give them ideas for a possible 1970s week

Bake Off in a nutshell these days.

Matt Lucas: “ALL I DO IS YELL.”

Noel Fielding: “And I will just say something inexplicably weird.”

Janusz is doing berries and cream vol-au-vents, Maxy is making her bake at room temperature (rather than the traditional cold) and Sandro is so keen to get a handshake that at this rate he’s going to give himself one if Paul doesn’t oblige.

Prue to Abdul: “I don’t want to spook you but you are the only baker without a Star Baker …”

Reader, she did!

Also 👀👀 on Prue saying that they are going to be harsher from this week onwards. Because Paul and Prue have been so fair and complimentary thus far…

“You have two minutes and one hour and fifty eight minutes.”

This is hurting all of our heads, Matt. Thanks very much.

Amazing that if Syabira does well she could end up getting Star Baker for a third consecutive week, especially when the baking standards of this series have been so impressively high.

The signature challenge this week is … sweet vol-au-vents.

They have to be made from ruff puff pastry with a sweet mouth-watering filling.

If we all downed a shot of alcohol every time a baker goes “you could just get this from a supermarket” we would all be dead.

Surprise the signature challenge is a cottage loaf.

As well as saying a heartfelt goodbye to, we also saw Syabira get Star Baker, despite it feeling like it was going to go to Sandro. This puts Syabira joint with Janusz and Maxy on the Star Baker stakes, with Sandro behind on one. The only person who hasn’t got Star Baker so far in this series is Abdul, but to me he’s been a real underdog all series. I reckon he’s got a good chance in making it to the actual final.

Do let us know what pastries you are eating during this episode (and whether or not you too have bits of pastry all over your laptop keyboard.)


Thank goodness then for the bakers; who last week rallied around each other more than any other episode. Three contestants helped out Kevin when his wobbly custard Showstopper wouldn’t stop jiggling (that has to be a new record.) Then there’s the optimism despite all the harsh setbacks the bakers are experiencing, with Syabira memorably uttering “there’s always a rainbow after the rain.”

Welcome to the Great British Bake Off Guardian liveblog. And … It’s pastry week!

Hopefully this week’s quarter final will be better than last week: a rather infuriating episode (in a rather infuriating series.)

Should Syabira and Janusz have been penalised for a freezer that didn’t cool down their ice cream mixtures properly in the technical challenge? No! But in the typical modern Bake Off fashion they were anyway.

Then there was the Showstopper, featuring this rather bizarre comment from Paul.

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