Guy Ritchie’s new show The Gentlemen is finally out, and of course, it’s stuffed to bursting with gangsters, geezers and poshos up to their neck in trouble.
It means there are gun battles galore, dust ups, boxing bouts and all sorts of other close encounters of the violent kind, as Theo James’ Edward Horniman battles it out with the various crooks seeking to profit from his family estate.
So, from the show’s most memorable gangsters to the lords and ladies who are caught in the crossfire, here’s our attempt to answer the most important question of all. In Guy Ritchie’s vision of Britain, who is the hardest nut, and who is too soft to survive?
13. Freddy Horniman (Daniel Ings)
The jovial Freddy, Edward’s older brother, is always getting himself into trouble and needing others to help him out of it. Forever in debt, unable to keep hold of his money and partial to a line or many, his bumbling antics cause some of the biggest buttock-clenching moments in The Gentlemen. He’s game enough (he does dress up as a chicken) but there’s a reason he never inherited the title: he’s a walking liability.
12. Lady Sabrina Horniman (Joely Richardson)
She seems soft, but the Horniman matriarch is surprisingly clued up about the semi-illegal antics of her sons and more than capable of finding some solutions of her own. That said, could she hold her own in a gun battle? Let’s hope we don’t have to find out.
11. Max, aka the Ninth Lord Bassington (Freddie Fox)
There’s not really a lot to admire about Max, Freddy’s one-time university mate from Durham. The owner of a rather huge collection of questionable art (and anatomy), Max is much happier getting somebody else to do the dirty work (the threatening, blackmailing and killing) for him. Zero marks for bravery, or integrity – but he does enjoy mixing it.
10. Tonibler (Cameron Cook)
Poor Toni. Not only does he start off the show with an ankle tag, but he ends it bound head to foot and shipped to the formidable Mercy as a peace offering. Not a great look for an Eastern European gangster – plus, can anybody take him seriously with that name (say it out loud slowly)?
9. Geoff Seacombe (Vinnie Jones)
Could Vinnie Jones ever play anybody that’s not well ‘ard? Maybe: his gruff gamekeeper Geoff is a dab hand with a gun, and clearly knows his way around a dead body – but he also has a habit of rescuing injured animals and taking them home to care for. Plus, there’s a will-they won’t-they romance on the cards for the big softie.
8. Tommy Dixon (Peter Serafinowicz)
Getting somebody to dress up as a chicken and dance in front of the camera as a form of revenge is a baller move in anybody’s book. However, Tommy doesn’t quite have the self-preservation to rank higher on this list. His penchant for locking people in freezers is impressive, but his temper ultimately causes him to become unstuck.
7. Jordan ‘JP’ Ward (Hughie Blacker)
The head of the infamous Ward family of travellers, JP is built like a proverbial brick outhouse and can sink moonshine like a champ. Plus, he’s not afraid to get nasty when the situation calls for it (despite his mother being enamoured with Edward’s Dukedom). A fearsome opponent.
6. Susie Glass (Kaya Scodelario)
Susie Glass is never without a slick of red lipstick and pointed heels. She’s also an expert at getting the Horniman family out of sticky situations, whether that’s an illegal boxing fight or body disposal; unsurprisingly, she’s also remarkably cavalier about death. A pretty hard nut, but she does rely on daddy’s name to get out of a few sticky situations – maybe in a few years’ time, she’ll be trading on her own reputation.
5. Mercy (Martha Millan)
Mercy appears to run a car dealership, but there is of course much more to her than that. The formidable woman is in fact at the head of a mafia clan of her own – keeping prisoners and cutting off their fingers in the same building she sells her cars. She’s also handy with a gun and a machete. Nominative determinism this ain’t.
4. Stanley Johnston (Giancarlo Esposito)
Played by Giancarlo Esposito with an air of quiet menace, you sense that Stanley Johnston (with a t, of course) is used to getting what he wants. He’s also very involved in the cocaine business, which is of course a bloody one. Is he dangerous? Absolutely.
3. Duke Edward Halstead (Theo James)
The ever-composed Edward is the focal point of the series – which means he’s more than capable of cracking a few skulls of his own. He’s ex-army, handy in a fight and though he’s a lord, quickly finds himself up to his elbows in blood and guts. And he never bats an eyelid. Hardcore.
2. Gospel John (Pearce Quigley)
This guy is terrifying. Extremely religious, he doesn’t let that get in the way of his rampant murdering – reciting the Bible at enemies as they are strangled, buried or otherwise offed. He has no conscience, seemingly no sanity (though lots of mysterious “feelings” about things) and no compunction about rocking up at peoples’ houses unannounced, packing enough guns for an NRA rally.
1. Bobby Glass (Ray Winstone)
What’s Bobby’s game? Whatever it is the ageing gangster always seems several steps ahead. Supposedly in prison (though it looks more like a stately home – money buys certain privileges), he’s nevertheless a fearsome presence, pulling strings in the London criminal underworld through his daughter Susie. One warning: stay on his good side. The hardest of nuts.
