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Tracey Holmes

The furore over the Manly Pride jersey has caused confusion, but respect for all is key to moving forward

Manly will wear a pride shirt against the Roosters, but this week's NRL round celebrates women in league. (Supplied)

Rugby league does not have a pride round; this week's round is celebrating women in league.

You'd be forgiven for not knowing that given the furore focused on the Manly Sea-Eagles.

When Manly ran out onto Brookvale Oval to take on the Sydney Roosters on Thursday night, the one-off inclusion striped jersey was more recognisable than most of the players wearing it.

Seven regular starters sat out the game citing religious reasons for not wearing a team jersey infused with a pride rainbow.

The design was supposed to represent rugby league's inclusion of all marginalised groups, not specifically the LGBTQ+ community with which it has become associated.

But with all the good intentions in the world that message was lost, certainly it was not explained to the playing group before they found out through the media they'd be expected to wear it.

A number of players involved — including Josh Schuster, Christian Tuipulotu, Josh Aloiai and Jason Saab — are Pasifika. (AAP: Dan Himbrechts and James Gourley )

Most of the players involved are Pasifika — they've been painted as bigots by some who don't recognise their culturally religious views.

But Pasifika players make up 50 per cent of the player ranks, making rugby league unique amongst all other major Australian sports.

A question repeated often this week is, 'It's 2022, what's their problem?' As though we have miraculously arrived at a place where the complex challenges of a diverse society must no longer exist.

There is irony in any group calling for tolerance that runs only in one direction.

Manly captain Daly Cherry-Evans, when asked, said he'd never heard bigoted comments from his teammates.

"No. Stuff like this isn't a topic of conversation." He said. "We are experiencing a lot of things for the first time as a playing group."

In contrast to the headlines and the predictable social media pile-on from both extremes, the individuals who fronted up to speak publicly about the NRL's perfect storm this week have all been respectful of the other.

It provided a rare display of leadership missing from so many of our loudest debates.

In the absence of anybody from Manly management fronting up it was the coach, Des Hasler, and captain who took it upon themselves to issue an apology for the club's "significant mistake" in mishandling a delicate situation.

"Sadly, the execution of what was intended to be an extremely important and pioneering initiative was poor," Hasler said.

"[It] has caused significant confusion, discomfort and pain for many people, in particular those groups whose human rights we were in fact attempting to support.

"We have even adversely affected our playing group, a wonderful group of people comprising many different racial and cultural backgrounds."

It has been reported the players concerned won't be attending the match for fear of violent reprisals.

The NRL's inclusion policy, perhaps more than any other sport, lists the many aspects and labels that can divide communities:

"The NRL is committed to being an inclusive organisation that is open to all members of the Australian community regardless of age, race, religion, colour, descent, nationality, ethnic origin, gender, sexuality, marital status, status as a parent, disability or HIV/AIDS status or other attributes that can lead to people feeling excluded or isolated".

Rugby league is the sport, and Manly is the club, where Australia's first professional male footballer came out as a gay man back in 1995.

Ian Roberts was the first openly gay player in the NRL when he came out in 1995. (ABC News: Housnia Shams)

Ian Roberts has been lobbying the NRL for a pride round for five years.

His elation at hearing Manly would don a rainbow jersey this week subsided as the story unfolded, but speaking to the media he said he held no animosity towards the players who decided against wearing it, opting instead to sit out the match.

"I heard [coach] Dessie and [captain] Daley Cherry-Evans's apology… I thought the acknowledgement and the sincerity and the authenticity was wonderful.

"I fully respect those players who are choosing not to play, and their right not to play, with their religious beliefs.

"I would love if given the opportunity to be able to sit around the table with those guys and just have a conversation with them… and explain to them unfortunately there are kids out in the suburbs, out in the regions who mightn't have heard many stories in the past month, but I can promise you they heard this story.

"You know, this is brutal language to hear but sometimes people need to hear this. There are kids in the suburbs killing themselves… they are the consequences we are talking about.

"The reason I came out at this club was because I felt safe," Roberts said.

Des Hasler (R) and Ian Roberts were team mates at Manly in the 1990s. (Getty Images)

One of Roberts's team mates back in 1995 was Des Hasler. As a player, Hasler knew the courage it took to do what Ian Roberts did. Today, as a coach, he also understands the cultural and religious background of a majority who play the game.

Diversity is easy to achieve. Inclusion is more difficult.

Respect is key, according to Dr David Lakisa, managing director of Talanoa Consultancy, a training and development company helping organisations better understand, support and engage Pacific people.

"In Pacific culture, respect is a fundamental value," he told The Ticket. "It is underpinned by the Pan-Pacific concept called 'va', which is the sacred relational space between places of people.

"This means creating shared spaces of respect for self, others, space and environment."

Back in 2007, Dr Lakisa was appointed Australia's first Pacific Islander coaching and development officer for the NSW Rugby League. Like most others from the community he is a lifelong supporter of the game.

Although he hasn't spoken directly to any of the players involved in the Manly affair, he says he understands where they are coming from.

"Like many employees in the workplace, for these selective players, they find their cultural and religious beliefs are, in part, at odds with their employee expectations.

"Pacific culture, like many other cultural groups, is grounded in family-kinship networks, spirituality, culture, respect and reciprocity.

"Interestingly, Pacific queerness is not new. Fa'afafine (Samoan) or fakaleiti (Tongan), translated as 'like a lady', are individuals who identify themselves as having a third gender or non-binary role in Samoan or Tongan diaspora.

"This group often thrive, are highly visible and are accepted in Pacific society."

According to Dr Lakisa, the players would not have intended to cause such furore.

"Like most employees, they are not intending to cause harm or create division, after all they work and operate in a team-orientated performance environment .

"What is important here is to formulate and co-design ways to build workplace trust so that everyone involved feels safe and protected in their personal and collective beliefs."

ARLC chairman Peter V'landys says he respects the players' decision not to wear the jersey. (AAP: Joel Carrett)

Australian Rugby League chairman Peter V'landys also spoke of respect noting the game will continue to work toward inclusion from all directions.

"Look, I respect the players' choice. They've got religious and cultural differences. Let me say this, though, the one thing we take pride in rugby league is that we treat everyone the same, we're all human beings, it doesn't matter what your colour is, it doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is, it doesn't matter what your race is, we are all equal."

If communities were only measured on everybody being in agreement, few would survive.

Like Roberts said, what's important is not how the conversation started but how it now progresses.

With the respect that has been shown on all fronts, the Manly legend's wish to sit around a table together with all concerned might happen sooner than he imagines.

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