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Lifestyle
Victor Billot

The final Ode for .. Jacinda Ardern

Her Kindness leaves the stage. Photo: Getty Images

Bard Billot bye-byes Her Kindness  

Red Sails in the Sunset

Lo, the crowds gathered,

And some cheered, and most clapped,

But quite a few were nowhere to be seen,

For these rebels were all laid up with the Plague

Which they still refused to believe existed.

Down from her Tower

stepped the Queen formerly known as Her Kindness,

Past the courtiers and Ministers,

Carrying her Technics SL-1210 Mk7 turntables.

The Boy King Chipkins shuffled nervously.

Chancellor Grantus kicked aside some burning paper scrip

That fell from the hovering inflationary balloon overhead.

Royal Consort Gayfforde strolled with his collection of rods.

The Ghost of Capital Gains Taxes watched forlornly,

The Phantom of Co-Governance faded into invisibility.

The Pink Unicorns gathered, and so did the Green Unicorns,

And the many divers followers of various Faiths.

For a brief afternoon even The Great War was put on hold,

As Baron Luxon arrived to pay tribute to his old adversary.

Thank you and goodbye, saith the Former Red Queen,

As she waved and communicated and emoted.

By the way, she saith:

Something should be done about climate change,

But preferably not anything political,

For in these times, liberal centrist technocratic management

Is the appropriate warmth of democratic temper.

The fickle Gallery scribes who just the season past

Had mock’d her incessantly wiped a tear away,

And scribbled instead of her great perspicacity.

Then the Former Red Queen and her retainers

Stepped onto her royal yacht Heart on my Sleeve

And sailed away into the Western Seas

Followed by an honour guard of swooping, flapping

Rainbow hued winged unicorns,

As storm clouds gathered above King’s Landing,

And the fresh grass grew in tufts

On the lawn of the Great Palace. Victor Billot was previously moved to write Odes for Jacinda Ardern on October 2020, July 2021, November 2021 ("the Prime Sinister"), and May 2022.

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