No matter how hard we try to eliminate pungent odours of past political leaders, their legacy lingers on the palate.
Fettuccine Albanese is often spoiled by the blood-on-the-floor condiments left by Kevin Rudd and Paul Keating’s insistence all the cookbooks are wrong.
Opposition Leader Peter Dutton is the brainchild of previous Liberal leaders (except Malcolm Turnbull, the greatest Labor Prime Minister the Liberals ever produced).
You’ll never get those stains out, so it’s better to embrace them.
Here’s the recipe for cooking a Tur-Dutton:
Insert one Tony Abbott into one Scott Morrison.
Next, insert the ‘Tono-Scomo’ into one Peter Dutton.
Shake vigorously.
Shake, shake, shake.
Then add the classic Dutton trimmings – no salt, no sugar, no seasoning, no Voice, no NDIS.
And for the main course, a real crowd-pleaser – Dutton Dressed as Lambie.
Serve with stuffed shirts, a liberal sprinkling of spin, a side dish of chips off the old block, half-baked policies and political hot potatoes followed by lashings of … just the lashing should do the trick.
Pair with a glass of the 1998 John Howard. A long lingering aftertaste, and very hard to swallow.
Scott Morrison always brings his own lunch – freshly cooked goose.
All of the suggested servings should be taken with a grain of salt.
GREENS PUSH PARLIAMENT TO LEGALISE CANNABIS IN JOINT SITTING
The Greens are introducing legislation into the federal Parliament to legalise cannabis, as if that’s ever going to happen.
The tiny snag in their plan is that all states and territories in Australia have their own drug laws – and they like them.
“At last!” said a Green MP, chewing garden mulch. “Australians will be able to smoke dope for the first time!”
Australia’s policing of marijuana abuse has been effective. Only 30 per cent of Aussies smoke cannabis regularly.
South Australian maximum fines for possession are $200,000.
An Adelaide cop said, “Our penalties have narrowed arrests to only the most stupid and careless, which in terms of South Australians means a very high number.”
Queensland has already started bottling Billabongwater.
In other news …
- MEGA CAFFEINE DRINKS GREAT WITH ESPRESSO VAPES, SAYS 11yo ON HEART TRANSPLANT LIST
- MATHEMATICIAN CANCELLED FOR TEACHING TRIGGER-NOMETRY
- PENTAGON UPGRADES RULES FOR INTELLIGENCE STAFF, DUMPS ‘CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE’
- MORRISON MAY START U.S. CHURCH WHERE HE’LL HOLD ALL THE MINISTRIES
- COST OF WARNIE’S FUNERAL BLAMED ON 50,000 BAKED BEAN AND DURRY GIFT BAGS
- TIME RUNNING OUT FOR HARRY TO MAKE CORONATION ALL ABOUT HIM
