Here’s a question for you – who would take a 170bhp bike costing 27 grand and weighing 275kg off-road?
Answer – only an extremely good off-road rider, or a complete idiot.
Which probably explains why on the launch of the Multistrada V4 Rally in Sardinia I found myself in the rarely used horizontal motorcycling position, watched by a supercilious seagull.
Still, at least it was in soft sand, and the only damage was a slightly bruised hip and the tip snapped off the brake lever.
When the Multistrada was launched in 2003 as a 1000cc V-twin, it shouldn’t have worked, but did, in the same way as the Diavel in 2011 when it stunned the cruiser world by handing like a sports bike.
That original Multistrada had only 85bhp and an upright touring position, but a sporty chassis and suspension saw it leave other tourers at the lights, and even more so when in 2007 the engine was upgraded to 1100cc and 95bhp.
Then in 2010 Ducati had a fit of the head staggers and released the Multistrada 1200 with the 150bhp engine from its 1198 superbike.
In 2018 that was tweaked with the 1260, and now it’s gone mad again after developing the 170bhp V4 engine which it’s already used in the Panigale, Diavel and Streetfighter and is obviously keen to get in as many toys as possible.
Browse more than 19,000 new and used bikes for sale at Autotrader.co.uk/bikes
The company’s sold 144,000 Multistradas in 20 years, which is even more impressive when you consider the premium price tag, and this latest Rally version is meant to be more dirt-friendly.
The promotional video at the launch featured two chaps who looked like off-duty fighter pilots racing across the African savannah on them watched by baffled elephants, and Ducati claims that they’re the perfect machine for folks who want to go off-road touring with a pillion passenger and loads of luggage.
Where they’re going to find these superhuman beings is another matter, but if they find another 144,000 of them, I’ll eat my helmet with a dash of mayonnaise.
In the meantime, I was climbing aboard the bike in Sardinia, and boy, is it big and tall, although there are low and extra low seat options for smaller dudes.
Once aboard, there’s a fabulous 6.6in TFT screen, equally fabulous mirrors, nice wide bars and a usefully adjustable screen.
The weight is 260kg including 30 litres of fuel in the new bigger tank, up from the standard Multistrada 22 litres, but the £26,943 version I was riding, with spotlights, panniers and engine protection bars, topped out at about 275kg.
Even with 170bhp on tap, hauling that amount of weight makes progress swift rather than breathtaking, although it’s accompanied by a delicious rorty snarl from the nether regions. The bike’s, not mine.
Switching from Road to Sport mode introduces a rather more exciting level of urgency to progress, although slightly at the expense of creamy smoothness.
The bike only uses two cylinders up to 3800rpm, presumably to save polar bears, then switches to four, although the switchover is seamless, certainly compared to Honda’s similar VTEC system on the 2002 VFR800, which produced a disconcerting surge in oomph and was soon dumped.
The six-speed gearbox is as slick as a hot buttered spud, and Ducati’s quickshifters are now works of genius, even in first and second gear, a thing previously unheard of in quickshifter world.
The brakes are superb, with front discs the size of dustbin lids and lovely bite and feel from the rear for trailing into downhill corners, of which there were many, Sardinian road designers obviously having sworn off straight lines for life.
The suspension is the perfect marriage of plush and firm, like a new and very expensive sofa, soaking up the worst that the roads could throw at it.
The real miracle, though, is the handling, especially for such a heavy bike. Some of this is thanks to peerless chassis design, and the rest down to clever gizmos such as Ducati’s Skyhook system, which works by a combination of magic and witchcraft involving lean sensors, gyros and cornering ABS and traction control to keep the bike stable no matter how ham-fisted the rider is.
However, it met its match in me when it came to the off-road bit. To make the bike off-road capable, Ducati has installed larger footpegs for standing on, spoked wheels, greater ground clearance, dual purpose tyres, a sump guard, an off-road mode which reduces power to 114bhp and makes delivery smoother at low speed, and a button to reduce rear suspension preload to zero to lower the bike’s centre of gravity and make it easier for smaller riders to put both feet down.
However, it hasn’t gone the whole hog with a 21in front wheel, sticking with a compromise 19in compared to the 17in of the original Multistrada.
Anyway, it was all going well as I pottered along standing on the pegs and pretending I was in a slow-motion version of the Dakar Rally until I came to a tight sandy corner which had just been negotiated by Chris Northover, former World Superbikes racer, Triumph design engineer, off-road instructor and all-round good bloke.
Being a chap who actually knows what he’s doing, he’d delved into the sub-menus and turned the traction control off completely so that he could slide around the corner with the back wheel spinning, leaving a splendid crescent-shaped rut.
I was so busy admiring it that I then rode into it and fell off, leaving me in the aforementioned horizontal motorcycling position. Note to self: look where you want to go, not where you don’t.
“It’s called target fixation, you idiot,” said the seagull, then flapped off looking for a fresh herring for supper. Or possibly a sardine, since we were in Sardinia.
“Well, that’s my entry in for the prat of the day award,” I said when I met up with the rest of the gang.
“You don’t get it that easy, dude,” said Chris. “You have to crash in front of all of us.”
After which it was time for a beer and a chance to think what I thought of the bike.
Only riders like Chris will get the best out of it, and I suspect that for the rest of us, the reality is that anyone who buys one may dream of speeding across the savannah being admired by those elephants, but will actually end up like those people who buy Range Rovers then go off-roading by parking it on the pavement outside Waitrose.
Which at least is better than lying in the sand with a seagull looking superciliously down its beak at you.
