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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Clare Finney

‘The classiest gift I’ve heard of’: what to bring to a dinner party (that isn’t wine or chocolates)

Group of people at a dinner party
A quality gift will guarantee you’ll be invited again and again. Photograph: miniseries/Getty Images

I’m convinced that the same bottle of Whispering Angel and box of Lindor chocolates have been doing the rounds among my friends for two or three years now. It’s not that we don’t like them (what’s not to like?); it’s that they are such easy gifts. Every host saves them for when they’re next a guest, in an unspoken game of Pass the Provençal Rose.

Yet the reason wine and chocolates are such popular dinner party gifts is the same reason they get passed around: they’re often generic. They’re not thoughtless per se, but they rarely suggest a huge amount of thought for the personality or taste of the host.

With many people drinking less and putting more effort into entertaining, the best guests are those who bring something thoughtful to the table, something that’s either clearly intended for the host to enjoy after the party or more helpful than a bottle of generic red could ever be. That could be nibbles, nice napkins, candles – anything your host may not have had the time or inclination to cover, on top of catering. These are some of the best I’ve heard of, given or received.

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What to bring to a dinner party

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Classy snacks

Truffle nuts

£16.50 for 250g at Daylesford Organic

Perelló gordal picante olives

£3.20 for 350g at Sainsbury’s
£3.95 for 350g at Fine Food Specialist

Delicious as they are, crisps are not a gift. They’re an offering, to be torn open and shared. No matter how bougie the brand is – looking at you, Torres – a bag of crisps implies it should be instantly cracked open. A nice pot of nuts or a can of quality olives, however, could go both ways. They could be nibbles on the night, but they could also be stowed away for the host to enjoy. Opt for those with classy packaging – Perelló, Mevalco, Espinaler for olives; Brindisa, Daylesford, Honey & Co for nuts – that can be repurposed once their contents have been gobbled up. If you know the sorts they like, so much the better.

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Handwritten place notes

There are all sorts of reasons one might want a seating plan for a dinner party: mixing friends, setting up prospective couples, separating bickering couples. Yet, on top of cooking, cleaning and everything else, writing out name cards can feel like a chore too far. If only a calligraphy-loving friend, or simply a friend with good handwriting, could do the honours? If that’s you, invest in some quality card and offer up your skills.

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Freshly roasted coffee

Ueshima house blend ground coffee

£3.75 for 250g at Morrisons
£4 for 250g at Ocado

Ueshima house blend whole beans

£3.75 for 250g at Morrisons
£4 for 250g at Ocado

There aren’t many smells better than when you open a fresh bag of coffee for the first time – and it’s in your power to bestow that on your host for the morning after their dinner. Now in its sixth (or is it seventh?) wave, Britain’s coffee is better than ever – and so too are the packets. Seek out your local artisan roaster and buy from them or, if there isn’t one near you, go for Japanese brand Ueshima, which is available in Sainsbury’s, Waitrose and Ocado. The coffee house’s sustainably sourced, Japanese-roasted range comes with a string of Great Taste Awards, and in classy, calligraphy-adorned packaging.

Need a little more help on picking the best beans? Our expert tells all in our guide to essential coffee kit

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Wine … wrapped in a tea towel

Tomate linen tea towel

£16.95 at Graham and Green

For once, a TikTok trend I can get on board with: a wine bottle wrapped in a jazzy new tea towel. Everyone always needs new tea towels – they’re often on show, and they never stay white for long. As for the wine, well, to those crying “loophole”, I’d point out that by wrapping it in something more substantial than tissue from the wine shop, you’re implying it’s a special bottle for the host to enjoy at a later date. The Royal Academy of Arts has beautiful tea towels, as do Graham and Green and Maison Flâneur.

For a low-alcohol alternative to wine, read our guide to the best alcohol-free drinks

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A bottle of premium EVOO

Yiayia garlic extra virgin olive oil

£22.99 for 200ml at Selfridges
£25 for 200ml at Harvey Nichols

Citizens of Soil extra virgin olive oil

£23 for 500ml at Ocado
£24.50 for 500ml at Abel and Cole

The dinner party gift du jour, and with good reason: a bottle of quality extra virgin olive oil is at least as expensive and as beautifully presented as a bottle of quality wine – and far more useful, particularly for non-drinkers. It’s also more likely to be on permanent display. For my money, Citizens of Soil, Galantino, Yiayia and Honest Toil offer maximum value when it comes to aesthetics and taste.

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Napkins

Recycled paper wildflower napkins

£4.75 for 20 at Talking Tables

Saluti cocktail cotton napkins

£26 for four at Anthropologie

Another finishing touch your host may not have time, money or patience for, but which they – and your fellow guests – will appreciate. Nothing kills a well-laid table quite like a fat roll of kitchen towel, but all too often that’s all I’ve had to offer. Spare your host the shame, and buy a pack of recyclable paper napkins (Talking Tables) or better still, treat them to a set of linen napkins. Summerill & Bishop has a beautiful selection, as does Anthropologie.

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Candles

Twisted candles

£4.68 a pair at Søstrene Grene

Pink twirls and swirls candles

£16.50 for four at Oliver Bonas

The best dinner party gift I ever received was a Jo Malone candle lightly scented with orange blossom – but you don’t need to spend £56 to bask in the glow of a well-chosen gift. Unless they’re one of those people who fall asleep at the sight of a flickering flame, candles are always a win. Note their candle holders, if they have them, and buy candles that fit – be they tapered, pillared or even just tealights. And while I love my Jo Malone, I generally steer clear of the scented if I’m buying for a dinner party. If you buy tapered candles, make them classier still by presenting them bound in a pretty ribbon.

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A bag of fresh, seasonal fruit

Easily the classiest dinner party gift I’ve heard of, and I say that as the recipient of a Jo Malone candle and a Galantino olive oil: a brown paper bag filled with fresh, seasonal fruit selected from the farmers market that morning. The friend who mentioned it to me received apricots – but this was back in the summer. In the winter, opt for British apples, tangerines or beautiful blushing blood oranges.

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Breakfast pastries

I remember the first time I went to a restaurant so fancy that they sent us home with breakfast for the following morning. It was one of the classiest experiences of my life – and it’s in your hands to give, anytime you’re a guest at someone’s house. Pick up a couple of pastries from your finest local patisserie and be the first person your host thinks of when they wake up the next day. If they sprinkle them with a tiny dash of water and put them in the oven for five minutes, they’ll taste as fresh as if they’d been baked that morning.

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Quality bread

One to check with your host before bringing, as too much bread can prove a burden – but if they’re in the market for a loaf, either to serve with your meal or to sustain them over the next few days, it’ll go down like manna from heaven. Ask them what suits: a baguette? Soda bread? Farmhouse loaf? Contrary to popular belief, a crusty sourdough boule isn’t always the best option – and seek out the best from your local independent.

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Hangover kit

Cucumber eye pads

£4 at Lush

If a night on the sauce is on the cards, don’t stop at coffee. Compile a hangover kit that will tend to your host’s every need before and after rolling out of bed the next day: Berocca, painkillers, eye pads (I like Lush and Sephora, though if I could afford them I’d choose Charlotte Tilbury), a can of Sanpellegrino, a couple of rashers of bacon (go to your local butcher and you should be able to buy per rasher, rather than a whole pack) or halloumi, and a soft, fluffy white bap.

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A party game

Wheels v Doors

£23 at Argos
£19.99 at Amazon

Karen

£16.29 at Zatu Games
£17.99 at Amazon

Gone are the days when suggesting a game meant the party divided between game geeks and those who would rather wash up than waste a single second of their life on Monopoly Deal. The UK game scene has never been so inclusive and varied, and many games are designed to spark and extend conversation, not bring it to an abrupt close. One such game is Wheels vs Doors, a delightfully silly game in which players get given two things and have to bet on what they think there are more of in the world; and Karen, the “game of one-star reviews” in which players try to sneak their own fake complaints in among real one-star reviews found online to try to convince their opponents that they’re the real Karen. Obviously, if your host or anyone in the party is called Karen, steer clear.

For more inspiration, read our guide to the best family board games

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Ingredients for a cocktail

Over the age of 25, bringing gin or vodka to dinner suggests a problem. Throw in the other ingredients for a classic cocktail and present them in a nice tote bag, however, and that bottle of hard liquor has a classy touch. Easy go-to’s are margaritas (mezcal or tequila, limes and Cointreau); martinis (vodka or gin, white vermouth, olives and lemons); negronis (gin, Campari, vermouth); and gin sours (gin, lemon and Oggs aquafaba, aromatic bitters) and brambles (gin, crème de mûre, lemon and fresh blackberries). Bring – or check your host has – ice.

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Homemade preserves or sauces

This is particularly pertinent if you’re a country mouse visiting a friend in town, to whom your preserved glut of raspberries, quince, wild garlic, apples or tomatoes will seem a gourmet product, for which they’d happily part with a fiver a jar. It costs her two-a-penny to make, but to me, my mum’s wild garlic pesto is green gold; ditto my friend’s chilli tomato jam. Stick a suitably rustic label on the jar and dedicate it to your host, along with the date on which it was made.

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