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USA Today Sports Media Group
USA Today Sports Media Group
Sport
Mike D. Sykes, II

The Boston Dynamics robots can parkour now and there is truly no escape

Can someone please stop Boston Dynamics? It’s pretty obvious they’re building robot death machines over there. Someone needs to stop this.

They’ve got robot dogs opening doors so we can’t hide in closets from them during their hostile takeover. They can jog, too, so we’re not out running them. And don’t even think about hiding up the stairs.

They even taught them how to dance so that when they’ve completed their takeover, they can dance on our graves.

And now, even if we try to get some height and hide, they don’t even need steps. They can just parkour their way up to us and get us out the paint.

Yup. That’s right. They taught the robots how to parkour.

These things are basically ninja death machines at this point, yo. Boston Dynamics must be stopped.

We have so much proof that this isn’t a great idea. The Terminator movies. iRobot. Transformers. And yet here we are, watching them develop these things right before our eyes.

Where is John Connor when you need him?

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