Thank you very much for joining me, I think we can all agree it was a riveting night of expensive outfits and shiny trophies.
The presenters sign off and there is more high fiving between Infantino and Ronaldo. There also seems to be an applause machine on as I can’t see an audience.
We exit with a video praising Qatar, obviously.
Infantino gets a hug from Big Ron.
Ronaldo thanks his international teammates past and present. He moves on to praising his family.
Ronaldo says he plays to entertain himself. He feels good and motivated, which is a relief for Ralf Rangnick.
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Fifa Special Award
Cristiano Ronaldo has turned up in person to receive his award. He hasn’t got much on at the moment.
“Fifa Best awards are as reliable as Boris Johnson’s next cockup,” writes Yash Gupta. “Still Lamela and Rabona won which is highly unusual. Someone must be drunk in Fifa garden for giving that award to Lamela who really deserved it.”
We now get a montage of Ronaldo goals.
Oh ... there is one more award for Cristiano Ronaldo for some reason or other. Is it for his great Instagram posts?
Great that Infantino gets to announce the two biggest awards of the night, he’s really deserved it.
The Pole is handed the award by a man in a mask. He is “very proud” of his latest triumph.
The Best Men's Player Award
Robert Lewandowski wins!
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To the men’s award. Your nominees ...
- Robert Lewandowski (Poland and Bayern Munich)
- Lionel Messi (Argentina, Barcelona and PSG)
- Mo Salah (Egypt and Liverpool )
You will be pleased to know it was Infantino with the shiny envelope. What an honour for Putellas to have her name read out by the great man.
The Best Women's Player award
Alexia Putellas wins!
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We now do reach the Best Women’s Player award. Your nominees ...
- Jennifer Hermoso (Spain and Barcelona)
- Alexia Putellas (Spain and Barcelona)
- Sam Kerr (Australia and Chelsea)
“Hi Will,” says Robbie Hiller, “please let me know when someone wears something worth noting. Fabulous coverage, Robbie.”
It was all downhill after Yaya’s tux. Bonucci has some nice velvet on.
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In the Women’s team they completely missed out the three nominees for the Best player of the year award. I am so confused.
Garth Crooks is picking these teams, isn’t he?
The Men’s team is in the classic 3-3-4 formation: Donnarumma, Alaba, Bonucci, Ruben Dias, Jorginho, Kante, Kevin de Bruyne, Cristiano Ronaldo, Haaland, Lewandowski, Messi
The Best Men’s team as Donnarumma in net. He didn’t even win the Best goalkeeper award ...
The Women’s XI does not include any Barcelona players, which is pretty ruddy hilarious. Who picked it?
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We have the Best Men’s XI coming up with Lothar Matthaus and Arsene Wenger. Some more banal Jenas questions delay the announcement.
Before we get to the best individual, the finest XI of the year is announced.
Best XI: Endler, Bronze, Renard, Bright, Eriksson, Banini, Lloyd, Bonansea, Miedema, Marta, Alex Morgan
Soon it’ll be time for the Best Women’s player. Your nominees:
- Jennifer Hermoso (Spain and Barcelona)
- Alexia Putellas (Spain and Barcelona)
- Sam Kerr (Australia and Chelsea)
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The Best Fifa Fan Award
The winner is the Denmark and Finland fans for their response following Christian Eriksen’s cardiac arrest. Both sets of supporters spent a long time chanting Eriksen’s name while he was treated on the pitch.
Jenas has said “I totally agree” in response to everything said by guests tonight. What a reassuring presence he is.
Next up is the Fifa Fan Award. Julio Cesar comes on to present. I hope I win.
That’s three wins for Chelsea today as they pick up the BEST goalkeeper and both coach awards.
Thomas Tuchel decked in a Chelsea hoodie. Tuchel says winning is “pretty surreal” and he “feels pretty uncomfortable”.
The Best Men's Coach
Thomas Tuchel wins the award.
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Your nominees in this category:
- Pep Guardiola (Man City)
- Thomas Tuchel (Chelsea)
- Roberto Mancini (Italy)
Everyone wheeled out needs to praise Fifa for a few seconds before getting on with the real business. Wenger is aiming to make coaching better around the world, you will be pleased to know.
The Best Men’s Coach is next up. Arsene Wenger is here to tell is more about it and hopefully not banning throw-ins.
Emma is “so shocked”.
“I am not usually stunned.” Hayes goes on to thanks her players and staff.
She has some lovely exposed brickwork as a backdrop at home.
The Best Women's Coach
Emma Hayes wins the award.
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Next up is the women’s Best coach award. Your nominees:
Fifa Women’s Coach
- Lluís Cortés (Barcelona)
- Emma Hayes (Chelsea)
- Sarina Wiegman (Netherlands and England)
Fair Play Award
The award goes to the Denmark football and medical team for their actions after Christian Eriksen’s cardiac arrest.
Now we have a tribute to Gerd Muller who left us in 2021.
Lamela is on screen. “Thank you so much. I am very happy to win this award. In that moment, I didn’t think too much, I didn’t realise how special the goal was, I just kicked it and ran around.”
Puskas Award
Erik Lamela wins the award!
Jenas’ patter asks what Toure’s most memorable goal is. A goal against Sunderland in the League Cup final is his favourite. It was a cracker, to be fair.
Yaya Toure wanders out in his tux for the Puskas Award.
The Puskas Award nominees:
- Erik Lamela – Arsenal vs Tottenham, Premier League (14 March 2021)
- Patrik Schick - Czech Republic vs Scotland, Euro 2020 (14 June 2021)
- Mehdi Taremi – Chelsea vs FC Porto, Champions League (13 April 2021)
The Chelsea goalkeeper is not available due to a technically issue so we get a big photo of him instead. The passport photo of him looks very happy to win the award at least.
Peter Schmeichel says he’s been a “revelation” in the Premier League. The Dane says Mendy shows great leadership.
The Best Men's Goalkeeper
Edouard Mendy wins the award!
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The nominees ...
- Gianluigi Donnarumma (Italy, AC Milan and PSG)
- Edouard Mendy (Senegal and Chelsea)
- Manuel Neuer (Germay and Bayern Munich)
Peter Schmeichel is the latest legend to be wheeled out. He will announce the winner of the men’s goalkeeper’s award.
Christiane Endler says she is “very happy and proud”. The Chilean is the first South American to win the award, a fine accolade for her fine work after being nominated on three occasions prior to this.
The Best Women's Goalkeeper
Christiane Endler wins the award!
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Fara Williams is brought onto stage. We have more chat about how great Sinclair is to start off.
Now we move on to the great goalkeepers of the year in the women’s game. The nominees are as follows:
- Ann-Katrin Berger (Germany and Chelsea)
- Christiane Endler (Chiles, PSG and Lyon)
- Stephanie Lynn Marie Labbé (Canada, Rosengrad and PSG)
Sinclair speaks very well as she praises all and sundry. Jenas comes back to her to discuss her calmness in front of goal.
“I am sure my dad and mum will say they taught it to me but I’ve always felt calm in front of goal.”
At the end Steve Nash congratulates her, which is nice.
Infantino is back with trophy in hand as this night is all about him, it would seem. He is speaking to Sinclair over a videocall from the future. She doesn’t even have a replica of the trophy to stroke. Infantino speaks over Sinclair before allowing her to thank everyone for the prize.
First up we have a ‘Special Award’ for Canada’s Christine Sinclair who has scored 188 goals in 303 appearances for her country, which isn’t bad going.
Gianni Infantino has turned up, which is a relief. Let’s pander to him for while.
He is welcoming everyone to Zurich. Although there are only three people at this ceremony in person.
“We’ve all been suffering for two years but it is important to know health comes first.”
Who will present the One Show instead tonight? Matt Albright? Ronan Keating? Matt Baker?
The One Show’s Jermaine Jenas and Reshwin Chaudhry are our presenters. What a treat.
I just want to thank you for joining me while Dominic Cummings takes to Twitter to try and take down the government.
“Great coverage,” emails Ben Fisher. “Winning the most improved player award for Portishead Juniors U13s is the still comfortably my biggest achievement.”
Sadly, that is where the improvement ended for Ben, as his teammates will find out tonight at five-a-side.
And a little bit of Mehdi Taremi.
Patrick Schick v Scotland.
Let’s have a look at the goals up for the Puskas Award, starting with Erik Lamela.
The categories
Here is a little look at awards that will be handed out this evening. Why can’t everyone win? Where is the most improved award?
Fifa Men’s Player
- Robert Lewandowski (Poland and Bayern Munich)
- Lionel Messi (Argentina, Barcelona and PSG)
- Mo Salah (Egypt and Liverpool )
Fifa Women’s Player
- Jennifer Hermoso (Spain and Barcelona)
- Alexia Putellas (Spain and Barcelona)
- Sam Kerr (Australia and Chelsea)
Fifa Men’s Coach
- Pep Guardiola (Man City)
- Thomas Tuchel (Chelsea)
- Roberto Mancini (Italy)
Fifa Women’s Coach
- Lluís Cortés (Barcelona)
- Emma Hayes (Chelsea)
- Sarina Wiegman (Netherlands and England)
Fifa Men’s Goalkeeper
- Gianluigi Donnarumma (Italy, AC Milan and PSG)
- Edouard Mendy (Senegal and Chelsea)
- Manuel Neuer (Germay and Bayern Munich)
Fifa Women’s Goalkeeper
- Ann-Katrin Berger (Germany and Chelsea)
- Christiane Endler (Chiles, PSG and Lyon)
- Stephanie Lynn Marie Labbé (Canada, Rosengrad and PSG)
Puskas Award
- Erik Lamela – Arsenal vs Tottenham, Premier League (14 March 2021)
- Patrik Schick - Czech Republic vs Scotland, Euro 2020 (14 June 2021)
- Mehdi Taremi – Chelsea vs FC Porto, Champions League (13 April 2021)
Good evening!
The awards ceremony named in honour of Tina Turner’s love of the game is here once more. I am sure you are as excited as I am to find out who picks up the gongs and to then review opinion on Twitter about why someone’s favourite player should have won at the expense of another excellent footballer.
We do not just get to find out about The Best players in the men’s and women’s game but also many other categories from the world game. We will trawl through gongs for coaches, goalkeepers and the Puskas Award for the best goal. In between I am sure we will be treated to some shiny interviews and apologies for why people could not be there in person.
In the meantime, this is what it is all about.
