Christmas crackers: The gifts that keeps on giving
(Picture: Getty Images)If there were a competition for the worst jokes, there would be a face-off between Penguin bars, Christmas crackers and dads across the nation.
Christmas cracker jokes are almost brilliant because they’re so unexplainably bad. Either you’re faced with a table full of forced laughter or alternatively, the look of dismay as if you were the one who wrote it. Don’t shoot the messenger.
While it shouldn’t be up to you to bring the Christmas banter, let’s face it, cracker manufacturers definitely don’t have your back.
So, here are our favourite Christmas jokes that are bound to make people laugh – or crack a smile at least.
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I got a Christmas card full of rice in the post today.
Did you hear Tesco is giving away dead batteries for Christmas?
What’s the Grinch’s least favourite band?
What did 52% of Brits order for Christmas dinner?
Why doesn’t Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa?
What is the best possible holiday present?
Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas?
Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store?
What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?
How did Scrooge win the football game?
Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?
Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much?
Did you hear about the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
How do you know when Santa’s around?
What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
Christmas cracker jokes: The gifts that keeps on giving.
