Holy moly, I can’t believe we’ve made it. This is your official ~final recap~ of this year’s The Bachelors and let’s just say I am truly the oracle of Bogan Bridgerton.
Before Season 11 dropped on December 3, Osher Günsberg — AKA Australia’s Cupid — proclaimed that this would be the “most romantic” Bachelors season ever. And boy, did he deliver on his promise.
For the last three weeks, we’ve followed Wes, Luke and Ben on their quests to find love through reality TV. There were a lot of ups and downs including rejections, love letters, date crashing and of course, the bone-chilling (for the contestants) rose ceremonies which all have led up to this very moment. Decision time.
To give you a quick recap of last night’s episode, the Bachelors and the final two’s family and friends — in Wes’ case, only Brea‘s family — finally met. Although this is usually the most daunting part for folks in relationships, Ben and Luke had a smooth sailing time.
However, Wes’ Christian values and his lack of compromises in his relationship caused a fucking ruckus between Brea and Baby, the Brazilian-born Bachie’s stepmother.
If I could describe last night’s episode in two words it would be: religious trauma.
For the final time, for this season, here’s your recap on tonight’s episode. YEEEEHAWWWWW!
It’s finally decision night!!! Right off the bat of Episode 12, we are transported back to Episode One which gave major Bridgerton vibes with the ball gowns, string orchestra and dramatics.
The new look honestly grew on me. Bring back for when you finally give us Bachelorette, Channel Ten.
To make up for last episode’s lack of Osher time, Australia’s Cupid wrangled Wes, Ben and Luke one more time to discuss their journey on The Bachelors.
During their reflection time, Luke mentioned that he was “in love” with the person he was going to pick and Wes talked about the word “compromises” and how it was brought up a lot during his exclusive relationship with Brea.
One thing I found super interesting was that Ben talked about how “lonely” he was before the show, which was something he mentioned with Mckenna on their first date. If he doesn’t pick her, I will gladly give Mckenna all the roses in my nan’s garden.
After kissing the homies goodnight, Osher sends off the boys to prepare for crunch time.
It’s the next day, which means it’s decision time and for some reason, every single bachelor sleep shirtless? IDK not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s just an observation I found silly. Any excuse to show off the guns I guess?
As the boys prepare to get ready for the finale episode, a bunch of voiceovers are played from the bachelors who are reflecting on their time. Wes’ voiceover definitely stuck out to me like a sore thumb as he said he compromised a lot for his relationship with Brea.
Binch, where?
The first person to make their decision was Luke, who would be picking either Ellie or Lana. NGL, this has to be one of the harder ones to decipher due to Luke’s genuine connection with both gals. On top of that, I don’t have a favourite out of the two.
However, after doing every single recap, I believe Luke will be going home with Ellie.
Before meeting Luke and discovering his final decisions, the gals got their little voiceover moment to reminisce about the last five weeks.
In Lana’s voiceover, she said she was very confident in her connection despite Ellie and Luke’s connection from episode one.
It’s time!!!!
The first gal to meet with Luke was Ellie.
Luke began the conversation with a wittle recount of their first dates including the Bogan Bachelors Ball, cooking together, popping pimples and all their songs.
Dramatic music suddenly began to play after the lumberjack hottie said he “lied to her” and he “hasn’t been honest” with her.
But of course, his I “lied to you” moment WAS A FACADE. He lied to her about something about feelings for certain people. At the end of that hullabaloo, he told her he loved her and said that he picked her.
Ellie replied with a kiss and said “I love you” back to him.
Although there are no proposals this year, Luke commemorated their new relationship status with a ring and a rendition of their first dance.
Aww so sweeet.
Unfortunately, after picking Ellie, Luke had to dip to break things off with Lana.
As Lana waited under a beautiful tree Luke finally popped out of nowhere to deliver the hard news. Just like a true NRL player, Luke came in tackling with the breakup which completely caught Lana off guard, leaving her speechless.
Side note: What gave me the ick was when Lana said she has “nothing to say” after being dumped on national TV and Luke replied with “you’re so beautiful”. Like no!!! The last thing we want to hear when something bad happens is compliments!!! Just let the girl take a breather, apologise and then fuck off!
Anyways, Lana thanked Luke for the memories á La Fall Out Boy and yeeted from the tree.
As she tried to leave a goose almost attacked her. UMMM, let Lana leave in peace, ploise???
Shout out to Lana who took the breakup with such grace. Starting a campaign for her to be the next Bachelorette.
Next up to make a choice is Benny boy! Ben will be choosing either Mckenna or Angela, and I predict that he will be picking Mckenna, especially after that little Easter egg from earlier on in the show.
Similar to Ellie and Lana, the two gals got their own little voiceover moment.
Just like Lana, Angela mentioned McKenna and Ben’s connection and believed it didn’t exist. But literally, take a look at last night’s episode, something was brewing between those two!!
Anyways, it’s time to see who Ben picks.
The first person to see Ben is FlowerGate Ange.
After strutting through a chapel, that’s been decorated with fairy lights, flowers and all that romantic jazz, Ben read out a speech that noted all their little fun moments.
Soon after he reminisced about the good ol’ times, he served Ange a slice of humble pie. The same one that was served to Amelia two episodes ago.
OUR BOY HAS PICKED MCKENNA.
If you needed me to be clearer, Ben broke things off with Ange after he told her his “heart belonged to someone else” AKA Mckenna.
Unlike Lana, Ange did not take the breakup well and said she did not expect to be dumped.
After she asked to wrap things up post-dumping, Ange said “Ben made a huge mistake” in an interview.
Bitter, bitter, bitter.
Instead of seeing Ben and Mckenna finally get together, we catch Wes and Brea’s decision ceremony.
To give you the TL;DR on why Wes and Brea is a huge clusterfuck of a relo: Although Wes chose to be exclusive with Brea in the middle of the season, the pair have seen a shit ton of roadblocks due to the Bachie’s boundaries.
One of Wes’s values is no rooting before marriage, but Brea was cool with that request and was willing to respect that choice if they were to become an official couple. It was Wes’ stance on no sleepovers before marriage that got up her goat.
Brea believed Wes wasn’t making enough compromises in their relationship (she’s right) and was worried he wouldn’t meet her halfway. That’s all she wants!
Anyways, Brea rocked up to the finale in a gorgiana orange gown and struggled to walk down steps due to her heels. Such a #relatableAF moment.
After struggling in those shoes, Wes finally helped her up the stairs and they began the grand finale ceremony.
Wes honestly sounds like a broken record as he’s been repeating the same shit since he went exclusive with Brea — mentioning their first date, her face in the back of the room, their laughs and that whole spiel.
Instead of picking a woman — obviously, as Brea is the only one for him — Wes asked Brea to be his girlfriend forrealsies.
In response, Brea brought out her own letter. Dun, dun, dun!!!!
In her letter, Brea brought up Wes’ most feared word, compromises, and asked for him to meet him halfway, just like the Black Eyes Peas in 2009.
Just to clarify, Brea did not break up with him as she said the “door is open” for Wes. She just wanted him to make some compromises for their relationship — AKA let her crash the night after a date. Also, after Brea read her letter, a strong gust of wind knocked down a bunch of the props.
Even Mother Nature disapproves of this relation-shit.
FFS. After Brea poured her heart out, Wes only heard one thing and believed she was only angry about sleepovers. It’s not that, Wes, it’s the bigger picture.
After going in circles — and Wes refusing to make compromises — the Brazilian-born bachie attempted to apologise and “closed the door” on their relationship.
FINALLY IT’S OVER.
As Brea walked away from that potential relationship, she presented a beautiful monologue about how she needed to put herself first was sooo c*nty.
“I haven’t left empty-handed. I have a newfound confidence in myself and if someone doesn’t understand what my needs are and doesn’t want to listen to what my needs are, then that person is not for me,” she said.
As Wes stewed in the atmosphere of a failed Bachy experience, he said he felt the emotions of “sadness and confusion”. I’M CONFUSED THAT HE’S CONFUSED.
Brea literally asked you a yes or no question and you still couldn’t provide an answer and that’s why she dropped ya.
Luke rolled around the corner to comfort Wes as he leaves The Bachelor without a new boo-thang.
As Wes cried into Luke’s shoulder, we are reminded of the scene used in the promos for this year’s season of an unnamed Bachie appearing heartbroken. The scene was also briefly shown in Episode One to reel in viewers for a potentially juicy finale.
In the end, Wes thanked viewers for tuning in for his journey. Now who do I send the check to for triggering my religious trauma this whole season?
ANYWAYS, it’s finally Mckenna’s time to shine.
Honestly, I feel like we didn’t get much screen time for Mckenna. She was truly robbed this season of her limelight but that’s neither here nor there.
After strutting down the church aisle — the same one where Ange was dumped — Ben said she was “the best thing” to come out of The Bachelors. He then asked McKenna if she would like to start a future him and she said yes!! heheheh rainbows and butterflies for these two, I love it.
After what seemed to be an emotionally exhausting day, the two new couples, plus Wes, met up to celebrate over champers.
We’re finally blessed with the best scene ever in Bachelors history. A title card that reads “The End”.
I CAN’T BELIEVE WE DID IT.
To summarise the finale: Ben is with McKenna, Luke is with Ellie and Wes is single.
It’s only a matter of time before we see who’s still together and who’s not. My crystal ball says Luke and Ellie are end game.
Also want to note that even though I joke about how I’m glad this season has ended, I must say that it was waaaay better than that shitshow from earlier this year. The finale was satisfying, especially with Brea’s letter and Mckenna being with Ben.
Everything (high-key) went according to plan. Now give us The Bachelorette or The Golden Bachelor in 2024, thanks.
You can now stream all episodes of The Bachelors on 10Play.
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