Bearing the weight of what the world (and workplace) throws at us can feel like a second full-time job. Coping mechanisms, or strategies for managing stress and other prickly emotions, help us fight burnout and regain power in our daily lives. And according to Minaa B.—social worker, author, and mental health educator—every modern-day worker needs two types of coping mechanisms in their stress-beating toolkits.
Whether you know it or not, you’re probably already putting coping strategies to work each day. Perhaps you go for a brisk walk when your to-do list feels overwhelming or practice mindfulness after a stressful conversation with your manager. But Minaa says that being aware of why and how you’re coping can help us take the best care of ourselves when overwhelm—and even burnout—strikes.
“There are two coping methods that are essential for the quality of our mental health, which is problem-solving coping as well as emotion-focused coping,” she says.
Problem-solving coping vs. emotion-focused coping
When you’re deciding what type of coping strategy to choose, the first question you should ask yourself is: Is the stressor within or beyond my control? “Problem-solving coping is when we recognize that there is a problem, and we engage in self-efficacy to find a solution to that problem,” says Minaa. In other words, problem-solving coping is necessary when you have the power to change—or at least mitigate—the issue.
For example, if you realize that hours of meetings each day are resulting in feelings of burnout, you may block off your calendar on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that no one can reach you. Alternatively, if you find that social interaction increases your bandwidth for stressful situations, problem-solving coping could look like taking more opportunities to connect with your co-workers.
Emotion-focused coping comes into play when the stressor is beyond your control. Maybe your boss has given you an impossible deadline or delegated something to you that’s not part of your job description. “Emotion focus coping happens when we recognize there is a barrier, obstacle, or adversity before us that we really can't change,” says Minaa. “Radical acceptance allows us to engage in emotion-focused coping where we ask ourselves, How does this obstacle, this thing in front of me, make me feel?”
Once you answer this question, you can engage in self-soothing techniques that help you carry the weight of this task. “Maybe I need to engage in breathwork. Maybe I need to meditate. Maybe I need to write my thoughts down in a journal. Maybe this is the topic I want to talk about in my next therapy session,” says Minaa. Your self-soothing technique will be entirely unique, so spend some time thinking about what makes you feel better in tense, nerve-wracking moments.
Co-regulation, or relying on someone else to ease a stressful moment, also falls under the emotion-focused coping category. Minaa says that spilling your frustrations to a family member or a friend can be a powerful tool for diffusing stress during or after a seemingly impossible task is complete.
So that text that reads, “Can you talk for a second? Need to vent!” is not trivial; it’s a powerful coping tool.
