There are probably few people on Earth who treasure good weather and a beautiful spring day more than Scots.
You know 18C and sunsets past 4pm mean one thing - taps-aff.
Although forecasters say wintry weather is returning this week, you can bet that people will make the most of every moment.
Whether you're in a beer garden, sunbathing in your own garden, or just out for a nice walk, it doesn't matter that by five o'clock it's parky enough to hang what's left of your bag of cans off yr nipples.
Obviously there are always a few wallopers out there who have to spoil it for everyone else.
Glasgow Live has rounded up of just a few of them here.
1. 'Taps Aff' lads
This particular group of sun worshippers and park roamers are an alarmingly ever-growing breed.
And are usually spotted with a colourful looking alcoholic beverage in their hand and while emanating a real penchant for a punch-up with random passersby.
It's less "sun's oot, guns oot", more "sun's oot, moobs oot".
This fella is never an Adonis and if he's not got a storecard for Jacamo, he's built like a corner flag with a smack habit. Put. It. Away.
2. 'Bag of cans'
You can't go wrong with a swally in the sunshine and there's nothing wrong with a bag of cans (how else do you get them from the carry-out shop to the park?) but the Bag Of Cans punter is more of a nomad, wandering from stranger to stranger, bringing a grim annoying vibe to the day, shot through with just a hint of potential impending violence.
Kind of like a p*shed wasp, but with a bag of cans.
3. Circus 'performers'
"Ah, the sun's out. Time to practise my tightrope walking!"
Honestly, who are these people? There's a certain type of person that sees a sunny day as the perfect opportunity to head down to the park, not with a cargo, or a good book, or even a dog.
No, they've got a supply of tightropes, devil sticks, juggling balls and God knows what else.
They just can't wait to practise their skills while making an entire park look at them with burning hatred. It's quite the talent.
4. Park DJs
If you're lucky enough to live near a nice park, it's an obvious choice for a sunny day, but if it seems like park weather for you, it also will for this absolute tool.
Usually travelling in packs, park DJs think the only thing that could improve a nice, chilled day in the park is music - their music.
Depending on your luck, you could be "treated" to some happy hardcore from a nearby swarm of bams, some reggae from a dreadlocked student called Jeremy or some deep house from a cluster of beards, but it all adds up to the same thing - they're tossers and everyone has to listen to it.
5. Unusual Pets
Like the circus punters, this character is primarily seen in posh areas, like hovering near the fountain in Kelvingrove Park.
He's taken his pet out for a wee dander in the sun, which would be fine if his pet wasn't a bloody falcon, mad fluffy cat, tortoise or even a rabbit, all on a wee lead, all with a wee coat on like this was the most normal thing on earth. WHIT?!
6. 24-hour Party People
Normally, these fun-loving japesters are locked away in some flat that looks like it's out of Trainspotting, talking absolute garbage and sending out for deliveries at regular intervals until Monday or Tuesday comes peeking through the curtains.
But in the sunshine? They're out and about, skin turning from pale blue to a delightful translucent, sweating bullets and doing the worst ever job of trying to be invisible in the pub. Brrrr.
7. T(eenagers) In The Park
A fairly recent phenomenon is how every teenager between 13 and 16 from across the Central Belt has now decided that the Meadows or Glasgow Green is their own personal Slam Tent.
It’s getting that you can’t sit and surreptitiously drink that annoyingly illegal carry-out without being swamped by thousands of steaming schoolies being chased by hundreds of Polis on wee bikes.
Hopefully this year the kids will realise they can be as much of a bam as they want in the city centre and nobody will stop them. Ahem.
8. Weather moaners
You know that mate who has been whining all year that it's 'too cold' and Scottish weather is 'crap' because 'it's never sunny'.
We can guarantee that they'll now be moaning because 'it's too hot'.
There's a certain temperature they might be happy in, but the range in between too hot and too cold is minuscule, so they'll never be happy. Why? Because they are an a***.
9. Unsupervised kids
The sun can drive anyone a bit mental, but when you're only wee and going tonto on sugar, it's no wonder you turn into a raving lunatic. That's just weans, they'll do that.
But see when kids are turning onto a right pain in the erse, parents letting them maraud around the gaff like a midget Russian hooligan crew isn't really fair to anyone else.
Our own are annoying enough without your Monster-fuelled monsters swarming through the park like a pack of wild dugs. Put them on a lead.
10. Convertible drivers
It must be great having a car you can put the top down on. No arguments there.
But there's a certain breed of walloper who thinks that having a posh motor with the roof down instantly turns him into George Clooney.
He's almost *always* at least 50 and thinks he's the biggest ride in town as he cruises about with his Dire Straits CD blasting out his top of the range soundsystem. Mate, nobody fancies you, including your Mrs.
11. Wasps
Aye, they're not people, but there are no bigger roasters on God's earth than these tossers.
Whether they're hanging about the top of your beer can, circling your heid or deliberately getting caught in your wean's hair, these are nature's way of telling us that it hates us all. They have no use whatsoever apart from being d*cks.
12. Close steps sunbathers
Right, we get it, you don't have a garden that catches the sun and the only place it's hitting is the front steps. But does that really mean you have to stake it out with towels, a picnic and wine glasses?
You're in Scotland, not Magaluf. If you dare step over their chalk white and badly tattooed flippers just to get in the door, you'll be getting a mouthful too - guaranteed.
13. Socks and sandals
It's been a cliche of horrible, horrible taste for ever, but still some folk insist on wearing the worst combo known to man.
You can just about get away with it if you're 90 - but otherwise it's a sure fire sign that they need their browser history checked ASAP.
14. Dogs nicking your picnic
Not really, this is magic and always funny. Almost as good as seeing them hang their heads out the window of cars, the big idiots. 'Mon the dugs!
Article first published on May 6, 2017.
