Every country has its own share of kooky competitions, and that's also true for Thailand. From the search for a Guanyin avatar to the Peta-would-surely-disapprove swimming competition, here are a few for your entertainment.
Men-Versus-Buffalo-Versus-Pig Swimming Contest
In 2019, Nonthaburi, an adjacent province northwest of Bangkok, held a very unique contest that Peta (and any sane person) would object to, as part of the annual long-tail boat racing competition. For some reason, they held a swimming competition between two men, a pig and a buffalo as a half-time spectacle. And that wasn't the most puzzling part because they didn't do it in an Olympic-sized swimming pool. They did it in the freaking Chao Phraya River and the four participants had to swim 600m from one pier to another.
Boxer Khaosai Galaxy and footballer Francis Koné (who won Fifa's Fair Play Award in 2017 for saving the life of another player) were human swimmers while Buffalo Kao, whose name means step in English, and Pig Pakboong, whose name ironically means morning glory in English, were animal swimmers.
Koné won obviously given the stamina he had built up for all the time he ran on the football fields while, duh, Pakboong was the slowest swimmer. Before I make vegans' blood boil any further, I would like to stress that the buffalo and the pig were each accompanied by two human swimmers so they wouldn't, y'know, die. Not sure how much they would be able to help though if things actually did go wrong. Just look at these two pictures.
Nonthaburi Drift
Nonthaburi is also home to another peculiar race but this one contains no possible harm to animals. You see, the Nonthaburi municipality holds the annual saleng tricycle and rickshaw race as part of the Loy Krathong festivities. What is saleng, you ask? It's a modified man-powered red tricycle that is going around sois to collect recyclable waste from houses. Who would have thought that saleng riders would be able to perform cool stunts, right?
The race takes place near the Nonthaburi pier, which you can get there via Chao Phraya Express Boat. The last time I was there, around the pier, you can enjoy food stalls, a rickshaw ride or, as you do, walk a few minutes to check out Bang Kwang Central Prison and the adjacent Wat Bang Phraek Tai which process bodies of executed inmates. 'cause you're edgy like that.
Buffalo Race
Buffaloes are Thailand's iconic beast of burden and rival elephants in terms of being synonymous with Thailand because we're an agricultural country and all that. And, as if we haven't burdened their species enough with plowing rice paddies, we gotta put them in a race for our entertainment, too? That would be a harsh view of Chon Buri's famous annual buffalo race but there's more to it. You see, while the race is definitely the highlight, the colourful event offers rare insight into the local culture associated with buffaloes, a costume parade worn by buffaloes (my favourite part) and a blessing rite for buffaloes. The competition also includes a segment focusing on the physical beauty of buffaloes organised to boost the animal's profile locally and internationally. I remember the smell, too. Very unique.
Hard Mode Run
Chumphon hosts an annual mini-marathon that requires participants to run in 30-cm-high seawater to reach the finish line on Koh Pitak. The total length of the run is 14km but the island is about 1km away from the beach so runners have to brave the shallow sea during the last stretch of the run. Hard enough for ya?
Guanyin Pageant
Thailand hosts a lot of beauty pageants from the countless Miss titles to the not-very-PC Miss Elephant for voluptuous women. However, my most recent discovery takes the cake in terms of quirkiness (and possibly blasphemy), courtesy of Facebook user Charlie Lew. The search for an avatar for bodhisattva Guanyin, Goodness of Mercy, is currently underway until Aug 31. You need to be Thais of Chinese descent (obvi) and a virgin between the age of 18-25. The chosen one will get to perform duties as the deity at the upcoming annual Vegetarian Festival in Bangkok's Chinatown. I'm even more surprised that there's no no-beef-eater requirement.