My friend’s son, 16, sauntered into a pub at the weekend and came out with a pint. He wasn’t asked for ID, which she thought was outrageous, and I thought was fair enough because he looks about 25. Actually, if pushed, I’d say he looks like a highly competent 25-year-old, with life plans, a job, maybe even a pension. If I were working at a bar, not only would I not card him, I’d most likely give him a free pint, just for bossing at life.
Nevertheless, it was pretty unusual, since everyone is ID’d. My sister, who is 53, was asked for proof of her age buying those little non-alcoholic aperitivos you get in Lidl. She has always looked younger than her true age, owing to her glowing complexion and small head, but this was ridiculous. Bouncers turn detectives, trying to smoke out fake IDs, so that another friend’s daughter, who had bought a fake driving licence on the dark web, got asked what gear she would typically be in on a motorway. She could have said “I learned on an automatic” and been golden, but she hadn’t thought it through and said “I don’t know – I can’t drive”, and she and all her friends got kicked out of the queue, fake driving licences confiscated. Which I suppose some people would call reasonable, but feels to me like an authority overreach.
It makes sense because rules-is-rules and bars keep or lose their licences based on policing the magical border of 18. But it makes no sense if your long game is to stop teenagers experimenting with alcohol. They’ll just get hold of some vodka another way – perhaps by stealing it from adults, who always keep vodka but never drink it – and pre-load in a bus shelter. At best, the ID business prevents young people from drinking in inclement weather, unless there’s a house they can use because someone’s parents are out.
I don’t think it’s really about safeguarding at all, more a habit we’ve fallen into because we’ve watched too much American TV. The grown-ups have had too much screen time, in other words, and 16-year-olds just trying to manage an elegant transition into adulthood are paying the price.
Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist
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