I’ve always been a huge fan of the Scotland, Liverpool and Rangers legend Graeme Souness and he was actually the co-star of one of the first ever jokes I wrote as a newspaper columnist, way back in 1991.
On the back of reports the Gers boss had booked into a private clinic for a nose-job, I suggested he was having Chick Young’s nose removed from his a**e.
I’ve had the pleasure of working a few times with one of football’ s all-time greats and I’ll tell you what, when Souness is doing a Q&A, you can literally hear a pin drop.
I was back on duty with Graeme on Sunday night at a bash for Downfield Juniors FC in Dundee and the now former Sky Sports pundit (a crazy decision as he’s the best in the business) looks amazing for 70.
Although, in fairness, his teeth, nose and hair are only 15.
Souness was one of the hardest ever players to grace a football pitch (or disgrace a football pitch as one or two opponents, like former Hibs striker George McCluskey for example, may suggest) and a couple of favourite stories are the stuff of legend.
Souness is so tough, apparently, that he once had open heart surgery - when there was f*** all wrong with him.
And what about the time, after a particularly heated Old Firm derby, he was sitting in the Rangers dressing-room with a broken leg?
To this day, they still don’t know who it belonged to…
While blethering with Graeme the other night, he shared a few memories of his great pal and former team-mate Kenny Dalglish.
When the Celtic legend was awarded the Freedom of Glasgow, he was officially allowed to walk sheep over the Kingston Bridge.
On seeing the Gothenburg 1983 heroes like Willie Miller, Alex McLeish and Gordon Strachan being given the Freedom of Aberdeen, well, the mind boggles…
Anyway, folks, I had a busy old week of rubbing shoulders with football legends and, on Tuesday night at a cracking Glasgow restaurant called Gost, me and a few media pals organised a meal for the former Celtic, Hibs and Borussia Dortmund hero Murdo MacLeod who recently lost all his toes after a life-saving operation.
I’m delighted to report he was looking great and I’m sure you’ll join me, dear reader, in wishing a lovely man a speedy recovery.
If you’re reading this, old pal, let’s do it again soon.
But next time, Murdo, no graphic stories about your toes falling off while I’m trying to eat my mussels, ok…?
PS. Football footnote: Motherwell are the only side to take a point from Celtic Park this season - courtesy of a 1-1 draw last month - so I guess that gives us the bragging rights over the summer, eh? (© Eilidh Barbour/Sky Sports)
Meanwhile, hello to my old pal Paul in Whitburn who never tires of telling me that his dog used to chase ANYONE on a bike.
Eventually, they had to take the bike off him…
(I absolutely LOVE that joke.)
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