As the late, great Sir Sean Connery once told me, there’s nothing worse than a name-dropper. However, after a quite incredible week in the company of some true legends, it would be impossible NOT to mention them in today’s column.
Last Saturday, former Celtic boss Martin O’Neill – a genuine football great – was guest of honour at the St Andrew’s Hospice Sporting Dinner where he helped raise £47,000 for the brilliant Airdrie charity. This was the first time I’d been up close and personal with Martin (well, apart from May 2005 at Fir Park when I offered him a box of tissues after a 2-1 win for Motherwell on Skippy Sunday).He was in fine form. And, oh, how the audience loved it when he revealed he used to keep a photo of yours truly in his wallet to show to big John Hartson as a warning…
You know what they say – what happens at the Strathclyde Doubletree Hilton in Bellshill STAYS at the Strathclyde Doubletree Hilton in Bellshill – but there’s one snippet I can share. Did you know the hugely successful former Celtic boss – a European Cup winner (twice) when he played for Nottingham Forest – is a criminology expert? Yep, ask him anything about Lord Lucan, JFK, etc, and he’s like a talking encyclopedia. (Needless to say, he was fascinated when I told him about the Airdrie acid bath murderer who lost an arm after pulling out the plug…)
Guess where Martin and his wife spent a couple of days during their honeymoon? That’s right – at the trial of the Yorkshire Ripper! That was almost as shocking as his revelation that big Bobo Balde – “Bobo’s gonnae get you!!!” – was actually a big softie. The following night, I had the pleasure of hosting An Evening with Duncan Ferguson at the Whitehall Theatre in Dundee. Yep, another criminology expert! It was the first time I’d done this type of event while wearing shin-pads... and a stab-proof vest.
How tough is the former Dundee Utd, Rangers and Everton striker? Well, according to legend, Big Dunc recently had open-heart surgery – and there was f*** all wrong with him.
From spats at taxi-ranks (while wearing a woman’s earring and with a flower behind his ear) to the infamous headbutt at Ibrox that resulted in a 44-day stretch in Barlinnie (and you’ll have to buy me a pint before I repeat any of THOSE stories), the big man was in blistering form. One wee tale I can tell out of school?
Well, remember when he famously beat up two burglars who broke into his house? (Quite right, too, as his partner and baby girl were asleep upstairs.) Duncan thought he’d actually KILLED one of them. And who did he call to come to his house for assistance? His brother-in-law. And who is his brother-in-law? Snooker legend John Parrott! “Were you looking for chalk to draw an outline round the body?” I enquired. Nope, Big Dunc performed CPR on him, the bloke recovered in hospital then got a year in jail. Phew!
PS. Staying with football, Dundee Utd boss Jim Goodwin experienced “the bounce” at Tannadice last Sunday. Yep, a coin thrown by an Aberdeen fan bounced off his napper. I found this incident shocking. I’d have expected an Aberdonian to throw an IOU. Both clubs have issued a statement on the matter. Aberdeen said if they find the culprit, he’ll face a life ban from Pittodrie. And Dundee Utd owner Mark Ogren said: “As the coin landed on our property, we’re keeping it…”
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